Showing posts with label First lines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label First lines. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

And the Winner Is...


Our guest for today was a no show, so I thought I'd use this opportunity to update everyone on our Christmas stories. Thanks to our readers and their much appreciated votes last week, we narrowed the first line field to the top 3 choices and created a poll. Our participating authors voted, and the winner is...drum roll, please!

She peered through the snow-spattered windshield at the neon sign and hoped like hell there was room at the inn.

The line we'll all use to start our stories is very clever! I'm hoping the author who came up with it will tell us who she is in comments. It's a little more specific than some of our past choices, so we'll need to be on our toes to write stories that aren't all similar. However,  being a diverse bunch, I'm sure this group is up to the challenge! I'm already thinking outside the box...

I hope everyone will join us for 12 festive holiday stories beginning right after Thanksgiving weekend. The way time is flying this summer, November will be here before we know it! All we have left to do now (other than the actual writing) is come up with a title for this year's collection. Any ideas? Once we have that, I'm sure Alison will make us another spectacular cover. Stay tuned!

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

First Line Fun by Jannine Gallant


I know it's hot outside...all the more reason to think about snow! It's that time of year when the Roses plan their Christmas stories. We'll be posting them starting right after Thanksgiving weekend and wrapping up at Christmas, and we need your help. We have 13 first lines written anonymously by our authors, and we need to narrow the field to the most popular choices. Every story will begin with the same first line. If you could please leave a comment with your top two choices, you can help determine the fate of our stories this year!

Here they are in no particular order:

1.     “I can’t believe you did that.”

2.     The unexpected snowstorm changed everything.

3.     Oh no, not today.

4.     She peered through the snow-spattered windshield at the neon sign and hoped like hell there was room at the inn.

5.     I’ll take the shoes.

6.     She was skipping Christmas this year.

7.     How did that get in here?

8.     How could this day get any worse?

9.     She tugged the beard, horrified when the bright blue eyes watered and the cherry red lips yelped.

10.  “No presents this Christmas…”

11.  Playing Santa for one night would save her.

12.  Even Rudolph would have been grounded by the storm's intensity.

13.  And there it was--the perfect gift.


Thanks for helping us out!

If you're looking for a summer beach read that will give you chills, pick up a copy of LOST INNOCENCE at your local Barnes & Noble or download a copy at Amazon. Happy reading!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Beginning the beginning...again by Leah St. James #amwriting

Several months ago I wrote about ripping up the plot of my current WIP and essentially starting over.

What was my old prologue is out, and a brand-new prologue is in. My original Chapter One was moved to later in the story, and what was Original Chapter Three is now New Chapter One.

(Did you all follow that? I’m not sure I did!)

To recap, I now have a New Chapter One—a new beginning. And we all know how important beginnings are. Yes, I have a prologue, but Chapter One is still so important. When I read a book with a prologue, I look at the first chapter as the start of the real story. To me, it still has to grab the reader right from the start, or else that reader could very well toss the book and go to the next book that he or she likely picked up for free or cheap somewhere! (Sorry, got a little off topic there.) I need, and want, something that good. (And I really loved the beginning of Original Chapter One, too....sigh.)

But we soldier on.

 


This book is a sequel to my debut novel (Surrender to Sanctuary), and New Chapter One opens with one of the main secondary characters from that book. In fact, that same character opened the first book (in the prologue), so in a rare moment of inspiration, I decided it would be clever to parrot that opening.

Here’s the original opening from Surrender to Sanctuary:
Maxwell Davies was lost.

He squinted toward the countryside behind him, down the tattered two-lane roadway he’d just traveled, empty but for the smattering of cows and sheep grazing on the hillsides and an occasional farmer’s cottage. Ahead lay the intersection of a triplet of lanes bordered by a series of hedgerows and flowering bushes that threatened to overrun the dirt-packed lanes.

Should be easy to come up with a complementary opening, right? Not so much. I hated everything I came up with. Like these...
Maxwell Davies was troubled.
UGH. Lame! Weak! Wimpy!
Maxwell Davies was desperate.
No way, totally out of character.
Maxwell Davies was enraged.
No!!! Makes him sound like a lunatic...and it's way too early in the book for that!

So here’s what I’ve come up with so far for my New Chapter One beginning. I’d love your opinion. Would you want to read more? (Remember: This is a first draft. Please be gentle!) :-)
Danger.

Maxwell Davies sensed its presence as he stood at the big picture window in his office overlooking the back lawns at Sanctuary, Virginia, a tumbler of Maker’s Mark in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. Members in tuxes and their mates in glittering gowns gathered in groups of four or six, talking, laughing, drinking, enjoying life. Others danced, their arms twined tightly around one another, on a temporary dance floor where a six-piece ensemble pumped out a steady playlist of top hits from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s.

The community was in party mode, and he was late, lost in thought over the troubled waters they’d just navigated, and the murky waters that still lay ahead. Maxwell didn’t know the source, or the timing, only that every instinct screamed warning-warning-warning like a clanging bell in the back of his head. (In my head I’m hearing "Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!" ... Might want to change this line.)

Dusk had fallen, layering the sky with streaks of oranges, pinks and blues, casting sultry shadows over the celebrants. Ahead, multicolored lights twinkled in the trees lining the mighty James River, like hundreds of rainbow fireflies lighting the evening sky. Flowers in a dozen shades lined the pathways traversing the property from the river all the way to the gated entrance.

My creation, he thought as he took a puff of the cigar and savored its rich tobacco flavor. Mine to protect. Mine to defend.
 So that's what I've got. Thoughts? 

Am I worrying too much?  Does the first line of the first chapter have the same impact on a reader when there is a prologue? 

Or maybe I just need to finish the book before spending too much time on this. I mean, who knows what might happen to Max between now and then!

.......................


Leah writes stories of mystery and romance, good and evil and the power of love. She blogs here on the 6th and 22nd of each month. Learn more at leahstjames.com.
 

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Help Us Choose Our First Line! by Jannine Gallant



It's that time of year when the Roses of Prose start thinking about our holiday stories. As we have for the last several years, we will be posting short Christmas stories throughout the month of December. The only common denominator is the first line. That's where we need your help. We've had a LOT of first line suggestions this year, and we want to narrow the pack to the ones our readers think have the most potential before the final vote. Please leave comments telling us which lines are your favorites. Listed in the order they were received:

1) It was done. And she would lead the Christmas Parade down Main Street wearing nothing but a smile before she did it again.

2) She couldn't wait for Christmas to be over. Last night she'd dreamed she was being chased around the kitchen by a diabolical gingerbread man with glowing, red-hot eyes.

3) Pulling this off would take a Christmas miracle.

4) The eggnog was definitely spiked.

5) There was something about Santa no one had ever told her.

6) Stuck in an elevator on Christmas Eve...

7) Red really was his best color.

8) The only Christmas card she'd gotten and it was signed "Your Secret Admirer."

9) Her effort to steal Christmas failed.

10) She never liked Christmas when she was a kid.

11) Naughty and nice were never a problem for her.

12) What would Santa think about her last move?

13) There stood Santa, naked except for his black boots and his hat hanging on...

There are some definite contenders in here that get the creative juices flowing! What do you like in a first line? Long or short? General or specific? Pick your favorite line or two and leave us a comment. We'll announce the winning first line when we get a little closer to Christmas. Above all, don't forget to come back in December to read our stories!

And now for a book plug since it is my day to post... My BORN TO BE WILDE series is still on sale throughout the month of July. Check out my WEBSITE for direct buy links to all retailers.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Time To Think Christmas!


Yes, we know it's August, but the Roses are thinking about our annual Christmas stories posted all month long in December. And you know what that means--time to vote for your favorite first line! The line our readers choose will be the one we use to start all our stories. So please help us out by leaving a comment with your top pick!

1) She’d rather spend Christmas with the Grinch, Scrooge, and the Abominable Snowman all rolled into one.

2) She could only think of one thing more tempting than a plate of Christmas cookies.

3) The weather outside was frightful, but it beat standing under the mistletoe with him.

4) How could this possibly happen?

5) The box was small and square.

6) She'd never seen a Santa suit used in quite that way.

7) He stared at her tire tracks in the snow.

8) What in the name of Santa was that?

9) How was she to know harboring a reindeer was illegal in the county?

10) What was she supposed to do with a 6-foot elf?

11) The digital clock on the bell tower blinked December 31, but not a soul in town knew her name.

So, there they are eleven, fun opening lines. Which one is your favorite?

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Vote For Your Favorite First Line!



The Roses of Prose will be writing holiday short stories again this December, and we need your help! Each story will begin with the same first line, and our readers get to decide what that line will be. Please leave a comment to vote for your favorite.


1) He wore nothing but a Santa hat and a smile.
2) He wore the ugliest Christmas sweater she'd ever seen.
3) How would she ever make it through the holidays now?
4) In a few swift snips, she'd reduced the Christmas stocking to red and
green confetti.

5) In place of her hunky boyfriend, Cassandra stared into the beady
eyes of the Christmas Mouse. "What have you done to Troy?"

6) Nina burrowed deeper into her fleece jacket and took a step back,
assessing the red and silver garland she'd draped over the headstone.

7) She was pretty sure this was NOT the gift she'd asked for.
8) The cat knocked over the tree and the dog is eating ornaments--
can anything else happen?

9) This was the last place she ever expected to spend Christmas.
10) Too often, holidays were like cheap pantyhose, irritating and
cumbersome.


We're looking forward to discovering your favorites!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

How Quickly the New Year is Flashing By by Jena Galifany

Am I the only one noticing how quickly January is slipping by? Didn't we just have New Years Eve and now we are half way through the month? I told my husband I need a hobby that I hate. He wanted to know why. I explained that when I am doing something I hate, the time goes by a lot slower.

This year I plan to make a few new beginnings. I want to write, not one but two books this year. I have the beginnings of a dozen story lines and would like to see if I can get more than one out by the end of 2013. The hard part is deciding which story line to pursue first. Would you like to take a peek and help me decide?
_______________________

#1 Media Lies (Contemporary Romance) - A married couple, Ben deeply in love, Constance falling out of love.  Their marriage has become the greatest roll they've ever played, keeping their fans from knowing the trouble their relationship is in.

Benjamin Chandler and Constance Remington completed the scene with a long, breathtaking kiss – H.E.A. all the way. 

The director shouted, "Cut! That's a wrap! Fabulous!"

Ben and Connie took their time separating from one another. His dark eyes sparkled as he gazed at her, his fingertips stroking her jaw line. She lowered her chin, and a shy blush colored her perfect face as he pulled away, but only slightly. They slowly smile, obviously pleased with their performances, and with each other. The lovers lingered in their own world for a moment longer, and only then noticed the entire crew watched them. Connie broke the spell first, offering a bright smile to the crew as they burst into applause.

Ben offered his hand to Connie. He pulled her gently close once again. He moved to her side, held her hand as he presented her to the crew to take her bow. She tried to present him, but he refused, again directing the glory to her. After thanking the crew, Ben escorted his lady to their private trailer.

* * * *
Enter dressing trailer. Lighted make-up mirror, two fabric chairs, a table with champagne in a bucket, full size bed with a mountain of pillows in the corner.

Connie entered the boxy trailer, the smile still on her perfect lips as she moved to the center of the room and turned around. Ben followed her in, and closed the door. He wore his media smile until the door clicked closed and locked. His face relaxed as he turned to Connie.

She frowned, stepped forward and slapped him across the face. He laughed, and caught her hand before she repeated the assault. Indignant, she tugged her hand free. "I hope you enjoyed that kiss because it's the last one you'll ever get."
______________

#2  For One Kingdom  (Fantasy) - Erin wanted to find out about the winged creatures that were reported to live in the distant caverns in the desert. In a world where no one in their right mind would leave the safety of a locked building after dark, Jaycee and Erin settle an argument in the worst possible way. When one of the winged creatures takes off with Jaycee, Erin has to rescue her friend when their challenge goes awry.




Ashur - For One Kingdom
Jaycee narrowed her eyes.  "You knew I didn't want to go out there.  You just had to make me look bad, didn't you?"

Erin grinned.  "You make yourself look bad.  I don't have to do it for you."

"You're a bitch!" Jaycee lept from her perch, hands on hips.

"You're a coward… and a liar." Erin folded her arms and leaned against the counter.

"You'd like to think so." Jaycee looked close to tears.

"I know so.  Prove otherwise." Erin offered a lopsided grin.

Jaycee straightened her back and narrowed her eyes again.  "No problem.  Outside.  Now."

Erin stood, and dropped her arms to her sides.  "Get serious. That isn't courage. That's stupidity."

"What’s the matter, Erin? Too scared?" Jaycee headed for the door. 

Erin pulled her door closed as she ran after the red haired woman. She fell into step beside Jaycee as they reached the lift. "This is going to be rich."

"You have no idea." Jaycee paled as the lift carried them to the roof.

A klaxon sounded as the lift stopped at the top.  "Warning.  You are approaching an open area after Black Out is in effect. No protection is available beyond the doors." The metallic voice repeated the warning twice before Jaycee grinned and punched the button to open the doors.

The cool air rushed into the lift as the two women looked out at the night sky.  Erin drew a deep breath, amazed at the sight of so many stars.  She couldn't remember how many years it had been since she'd seen the night sky. With the black out, every star displayed its brilliance, and competed for her attention.

"Let's go," Jaycee prompted. Her whispered voice pulled Erin from her over-awed preoccupation. She stepped cautiously out of the lift, and looked both ways before she took too many steps. Erin followed, unable to take her eyes from the glittering display overhead.

The rooftop was quiet and dark. Shadows fringed the edge of the roof, and the black continued all the way to the city's outer walls.  Since all of the community houses were the same height, they appeared connected by black walkways, and tempted Erin to walk to the edge of town half a mile away.

"A lot of good it does to black out the town," Erin commented. "The stars light up everything anyway."

"Shh. I know. That's how I saw the creature grab that woman. I admit it scared me. It would have scared you, too. Three Commitables were stalking her. I knew they'd catch her. She tried to keep to the shadows, but they saw her when she crossed the alley. She had to be an innocent that got left out, the poor thing."

Jaycee settled on her belly at the edge of the roof, waved Erin to join her, and pointed down.  "There. That's where she was." Jaycee curled her hair behind her ear as she gazed down at the street five stories below. "The Commitables were only a few steps from her and she was screaming her lungs out."

Erin sat beside her, wary of the darkness around them as she chanced a look down.  She gathered her long hair, and twisted it into a cable to keep it out of her face as she scanned the street. 

"She ran into a dead end, didn't she?"

"She should have stayed on the main street. She would have had a chance to get away." Jaycee pointed toward the far end of the alley. "She ran about half way to the end when he showed up.  He skimmed over the rooftop and dived into the alley. He landed right in front of her.  His wings blocked the alley."

Erin took measure of the alley with her gaze. "He must have a ten to twelve foot wingspan. That's amazing."

Jaycee nodded, and licked her lips, an excitement in her eyes. "He was amazing.  He was only wearing shiny black trousers. I think they were leather but not like his wings. His wings were dull, thick. I could hear them beating from here."

"What did he look like?" Erin felt the excitement grow in her as Jaycee shared the experience.

"He had dark eyes and the longest hair I've ever seen on a man. It flowed around him as if the wind swirled it, like liquid silver." Jaycee locked her gaze on Erin.  "There was no wind that night, though. Strange."

"Really strange," Erin agreed. "How could you tell he had dark eyes from here?"

"I saw them when he took off with her. He flew right over me, right here." She rolled on her back, looked up, and screamed.

Erin rolled to look up into the face of the man Jaycee had described.

_______________________

Decisions, decisions. And that is only two of my new beginnings. I'd love to hear your views on these excerpts. It may help me decided which way to go in this new year. I'd appreciate the help. Either way, I plan on writing these stories and many more, enjoying each new beginning that comes my way.

_____________________
If you'd like to see more of my work, visit my WEBSITE.
My books are available at Whiskey Creek Press and Red Rose Publishing.

Cheers!
Jena


Friday, May 18, 2012

Beginning with a Bang by Jannine Gallant

We're celebrating Creative Beginnings this month, so I thought I'd talk about the beginnings of books. How many of you agonize over the opening scene in your book and rewrite it countless times? It’s the hook that catches the reader’s attention, so it has to be perfect. At least that’s the way I look at it as I revise the first page of my WIP for the 120th time, changing one word here and one word there… You get the picture, and those of you who write can probably relate. The opening scene does more than you think. It doesn’t just introduce your characters and setting. It sets the tone for the book. It shows off your style.

The first scene in Nothing But Trouble came to me in a flash of inspiration. I could see the setting, a dusty highway in Texas in front of a honky tonk bar. My heroine is stranded by the roadside. She takes one look at the cowboy offering her a ride and knows he’s nothing but trouble. But creating a picture isn’t enough to engage potential readers. As an author, it’s your job to show them what kind of book you’ve written. Is the stranded woman frightened, sad, or spitting mad? Do you get a feeling of danger or one of humor from the situation? By the end of that first page, the reader should have a good sense of your voice.

Now, take everything you want to convey in your opening scene, and condense it into one sentence. The oh so important first line of your book. A daunting task to be certain. I’ll admit I’ve written some less than stellar first lines. But I’ve read some true beauties, both in classic books and new favorites.

From Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell: Scarlett O’Hara was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.

From Carnal Innocence by Nora Roberts: The air was raw with February the morning Bobby Lee Fuller found the first body.

From Try Just Once More by Kat Henry Doran: Maggie McGuire didn’t have time to die.

It took me several tries, but I finally wrote a first line for Nothing But Trouble that satisfied me. Chase Paladin slammed on the brakes and prayed.

It may not be the best first line ever written, but I hope it will hook readers and make them ask, “Then what happened?” So, let’s hear your favorite first lines, one’s you’ve read or written.


Opening scene from Nothing But Trouble:

            Chase Paladin slammed on the brakes and prayed. Momentum, and the heavy livestock trailer he was towing, sent his pickup careening toward the red sports car idling in the middle of Route 66. With tires smoking, he rocked to a stop inches from its rear bumper. He peeled his fingers from the steering wheel and spared a glance for Bo, who had slid off the seat onto the floor of the truck. The hound shook himself.
            “What kind of freaking idiot stops in the middle of the road!” he shouted. Pushing his hat to the back of his head with a shaking hand, he leaned out the open window. “Hey, buddy—” The passenger door of the Porsche swung open, and the complaint lodged in his throat.
Long, long tanned legs topped by a pair of frayed denim shorts shot out. He dragged his gaze upward as the woman stood. A green ribbed tank top hugged a slim waist, and thick brown braids dangled over each shoulder. Fists clenched on her hips, she yelled something Chase couldn’t quite hear at the driver.
A pink flowered duffle bag flew through the open door and landed at her feet. She kicked the door shut and flipped the driver the bird. With squealing tires, the car tore off down the highway.
            Bending, the woman grabbed the handle of the duffle. Faded denim cupped a world class ass. Chase let out a low whistle as his pulse picked up speed. She glanced in his direction before dragging the bag toward the side of the road. He edged his pickup forward a couple of yards and lowered the passenger window.
            “Need a ride?”
            Her eyes were hidden by oversized sunglasses with leopard spotted frames. They perched atop a short, straight nose covered with a sprinkling of freckles. Color tinged high cheekbones, and a pink mouth with a full bottom lip drew into a tight line. She bared an even row of white teeth.
            “Not a chance.”
            “You sure? Mornings, there isn’t much traffic along this stretch of highway.”
            Her fist clenched around the canvas handle of the bag. “I’m not in a hurry.”
            “Look, I’m harmless, I swear.”
            She eyed him for a long minute. A warm Texas breeze ruffled tendrils of loose hair, blowing it around her face. She pushed a strand off her cheek. “You look anything but harmless. If I had to guess, I’d say trouble is your middle name.”

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