Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Monday, January 29, 2018

When a #Literary #Cliché Becomes a Reality by Mackenzie Crowne

Cli·ché
/klē’SHā/
noun
1.      a phrase or opinion that is overused and portrays a lack of original thought.
2.      a very predictable or unoriginal thing or person.

As a brand-new author (meaning after years of penning stories, someone from the professional literary world was finally seeing my work), I recall being advised to avoid clichés. I don’t remember my specific offense, but that doesn’t matter. There are many examples of literary clichés and I’m sure I’ve been guilty of including quite a few of them in my various writings, especially in those early years. I like to think I’ve grown in my craft, but let’s face it, some clichés are almost impossible to avoid simply because they are so prevalent in real life.

In my opinion, one of the most commonly seen examples of a literary cliché is the use of cancer as a vehicle or plot element. Think about it, how many stories have you read where someone connected to a main character has died of cancer? When viewed from an unemotional standpoint, a character’s diagnosis of one cancer or another is a logical happening. After all, cancer is the second leading cause of death. People die and that goes for fictional people as well. In the romance genre, where I write, characters often project an underlying sadness that defines them. What is sadder than a hero or heroine who has lost a loved one to such a vicious and indiscriminate disease?

I freely admit I’ve been guilty of using this ready-made plot element in the past. As a survivor, I vainly believed I had a special insight into the matter. On a certain level, I guess I did, but this week I learned how ignorant I was to the horrid reality of those who have lived through a tragic loss due to cancer.

Pat, Mac and Deb
For the past two years, Deb, one of my best friends for close to thirty years, has waged a heroic battle against peritoneal cancer. This past Thursday, this amazing woman decided she was weary of the fight and said goodbye to those of us who love her. Everything I thought I knew about cancer has been uprooted and flipped on its head. By the same token, my concept of the "cancer cliché" has been irrevocably altered as well and not just because a broken heart changes one’s perspective. 

Deb's strength and fortitude, her determination in the face of cruel odds, her debilitating pain as the end drew near, and the crushing grief shredding her children, family and friends now that she has she slipped away from us are not plot elements and could never be. They are a story in and of themselves. A story of amazing courage, humbling faith, and raging grief.

Perhaps one day I will tell that story, but I will never look at the use of cancer as a convenient literary vehicle again. After what I witnessed over the past two years, I simply can't. 

   


When Mac isn't relishing time spent with good friends and family, she keeps herself busy weaving HEAs for her characters, like Nicki Guimond Everson, the heroine of IRRESISTIBLE DECEPTIONS, Mac’s romantic suspense available from Entangled Publishing.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Memory, Memorial, Miracle by Jena Galifany

May is a month of many happenings in my family. There are several birthdays: both of my sisters, one niece, a great-nephew, and my late Puppy Dog.

May is also a month of tragedy. Both grandfathers passed away in May, before I was two years old. I don't remember either of them. I experienced my first panic attack in May twenty years ago and continue to deal with them.

Worst of all, my oldest daughter was made a widow at the age of twenty-one seven years ago. TJ was taken from her in a car accident. He was a passenger. His seat belt failed to keep him from hitting his forehead on the dash. He lingered for two days before Amanda had to make the decision to let him go. There was no brain activity for two days before she had to make that horrible decision.

I'd like to share a few memories of my son-in-law, if I may.

TJ was a character. He was Phillipino/Chinese and had some odd ideas about how the world should work. For example: he thought it was alright to "taste-test" fruit in the grocery store. We used to laugh about him selecting an apple in Albertson's while Amanda and I were shopping with him for the first time. He polished it on his shirt and chomped into it. Amanda starred at him in disbelief, not sure what to say.

"TJ," I said, "you can't do that."

"Why not?" was his reply. "I have to make sure they're good."

That brought him a roll of the eyes from his wife and myself. I chose another apple and put it in the shopping cart so I could pay for it at checkout. I had some trouble explaining to the checker that I only wanted to pay for it, but not take it with me. He couldn't understand that I was paying for the one my new son-in-law had eaten.

~~~~~~~~~~~

TJ had never had a birthday party. An only child, he was raised by his father. His mother lived in a different state. Neither had given him a birthday party. I was privileged to provide him with one on his twentieth. It was small, only family and a couple of his friends. But he was thrilled.

~~~~~~~~~~~

TJ was Phillipino, as I mentioned before. Their culture has a lot of fish in their diet. Amanda is half-Italian, from her father. Amanda does not like fish. Shortly after their wedding, they went to her father-in-law's home for dinner. Lying on newspapers on the dining-room table was a large fish, approximately two feet long, head still intact. Amanda smirked. The conversation when something like this:

Amanda: "What is that?" (Horrified look.)

TJ: "That's dinner." (Wide grin.)

Amanda: "EEWWW!" (Wrinkled nose.)

TJ: (Brows drawn down.) "In my family, that is a blessing."

Amanda: (Brows raised.) "In my family, that means someone is gonna DIE!" (Think Luca Bratsi in "The Godfather".)

~~~~~~~~~~~

TJ's second Christmas and Halle's first.
TJ had never celebrated Christmas. His family just didn't celebrate holidays. I had the privilege of giving him his first Christmas. Amanda was pregnant with Halle. I had the joy of making it a Christmas none of us would forget.

For once, I had the money to do it right. Everyone got everything on their Wish List. We had breakfast together, all the kids in their pajamas. We opened gifts and enjoyed being together. Beside fulfilling their wish lists, I got each of them (my son, both daughters and TJ) a bucket of Legos, a Barrel of Monkeys, Video Games, candy and fruit (a family tradition). We even had the train around the Christmas Tree. That evening, we partook of a prime rib dinner together. The whole day was perfect.


~~~~~~~~~

TJ was a gamer, a snow-boarder, and an all around good guy. He left us too soon but he left a blessing in the form of Halle. She is now nine years old. She doesn't remember her father but she knows who he was by pictures and stories she's been told about him. He was a great guy and we all miss him.

May always begins on a bad note with the memory of his loss. We are happy that he was saved and baptized. Amanda finds comfort knowing TJ is in heaven waiting for her. They faced some challenges in their young marriage, but I feel they had a love that will last forever.


~~~~~~~~~~~~
The memories of TJ are sweet. The memorial: I visit his grave occasionally and I always take him an apple. The miracle is that, even though she didn't know him, Halle is just like him in so many ways. She is truly her father's daughter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for letting me share.
Cheers!
Jena'
http://jenagalifany.bravehost.com