Thursday, October 5, 2017

The Great Underwear Conundrum by Alison Henderson

Tomorrow is my sixty-third birthday, and I'm in a quandary. My underwear has disappeared. 


Well, not the underwear in my drawer, but the nice, new, fresh underwear I was getting ready to buy.

I recently went to the store to stock up, only to discover that the manufacturer has discontinued the brand, style, and size I've worn my entire adult life. I can't even buy it on the Internet! What were they thinking? After more than forty years, I have to try something new. I'm traumatized, and so is OG. He's never seen me in anything else and is pretty pouty about the whole situation.

What I loved most about my underwear was the wide elastic lace around the top. It was tight enough to keep them up but gentle enough not to create a bulge. That wasn't as much of an issue in my twenties. However, over the past forty years, pregnancy and age have softened everything up, and no amount of exercise will bring that lost collagen back. Some of you may be able to relate.

So, I'm grudgingly dipping my toe into the murky waters of change. I bought one pair each in two different styles to try. Both boldly claimed their wide elastic bands were designed to eliminate "muffin top." My impression after trying them? They might eliminate that familiar bulge in a sixteen-year-old model or an Olympic athlete, but in a reasonably fit sixty-two-year-old? Not a chance. I'll have to keep looking. Grrr.

Who has underwear they like? Raise your hand. I'm open to suggestions. Just bear in mind, thongs or commando are NOT viable options.

Alison
www.alisonhenderson.com 


23 comments:

Leah St. James said...

Oh, Alison...don't you hate when that happens?? I swear, something I've loved in just about every product line has been discontinued, from shampoo to cars! I've never had a favorite undie though. (Your description of OG's reaction gave me a good morning chuckle, so thank you!) I recently purchased a set of "light" shapers for Son No. 2's wedding (just a little something, I hoped, to keep me firm-ish through the mid-section), and thankfully I had the presence of mind to try them before the big day. One gave considerably more "shaping" than the others and I would have been quite uncomfortable. You're very wise to sample several options. Good luck!

Leah St. James said...

Oh...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Hope OG has something fun planned to celebrate!

Margo Hoornstra said...

Well that sucks for your birthday. How horrible! Not to mention poor OG's conundrum. Poor fella. My personal trauma was a bra design that finally worked for me didn't make the manufacturer cut either. Oh the humanity!

Diane Burton said...

Happy Birthday, Alison. I loved jeans from Alfred Dunner, enough stretch so they were comfortable yet fit well. Then they had the audacity to close up the shops in the outlet malls. Can't find those suckers anywhere. I hate change, too. Oh, well... Enjoy your birthday. Hope you do something fun!

Rolynn Anderson said...

Best wishes on you B'Day, Alison! How mean of manufacturers to rob you of comfort and style. That ship sailed for me years ago. I had the dreaded 'fitting' at Nordstroms like I was supposed to, bought a black, white and cream colored bra in a brand that cost a fortune. As soon as I was ready to re stock-out of 'print.' As for the panties...I play roulette at the Jockey outlet. Inexpensive enough to try this or that style...interesting colors. Good luck with the Underwear Impossible search!

Jannine Gallant said...

I buy boring packages of Fruit of the Loom or whatever's on sale. My girls buy all sorts of cute lace things in the mall stores. Uh, underwear that looks good on an eighteen-year-old would look hideous on me. I'm afraid I have no good advice, but good luck with the search! My goal is to find jeans that fit in the dressing room and STILL fit after two hours of wearing them. That's my conundrum!

Andrea Downing said...

I’m with Rolynn on Jockey panties. Incredibly comfy. As for jeans girls, go to J Crew factory on line. They were selling 2 or for $69 and are the best fir comfort I promise. And happy birthday Alison!!

Alison Henderson said...

Leah, I bought a "light" shaper to wear under my dress for OG's reunion. It was so light, it didn't do much and was too hi-rise to wear everyday. As for my birthday, we're going out to dinner at my favorite restaurant. Of course, I had to make the reservation.

Alison Henderson said...

Margo, I'm with you on the bra design, but they change so often, I've gotten used to having to start all over with a new style every time.

Alison Henderson said...

Diane--Ah, the jeans conundrum! For the past several years, I've been wearing jeans from Ann Taylor Loft. They make two styles that fit me, thank goodness. Unfortunately, they closed their store near here, so I have to stock up on my annual trip to the outlet mall with PO&O, an hour and a half away.

Alison Henderson said...

Rolynn, OG was so concerned, he went shopping and came back with the closest thing now made by the same brand. Can't you just see it? I wish I'd been a fly on the wall in the lingerie department that morning! At any rate, they're OK, but not nearly as good as the old ones.

Alison Henderson said...

Andi, I'll have to give Jockey panties a try. I'm not sure they'd pass the OG "silky" test, though. LOL

Alison Henderson said...

Jannine, I'm not looking for cute and lacy, either--just something that fits and stays up without binding elastic. Why is this so hard?

Ashantay said...

Enjoyable post - thanks for the smiles. I like both Jockey and Barely There. And Diane - JC Penny's carries Alfred Dunner!

Alison Henderson said...

Ashantay, that's three votes for Jockey. I really am going to have to check them out.

P.L. Parker said...

I wore the same old holey underwear for years because I couldn't find some I liked. Now I have some reasonable facsimilies.

Vonnie Davis, Author said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALISON!!! With or without the panties.

Alison Henderson said...

Patsy, you give me hope!

Alison Henderson said...

Thanks, Vonnie. I hope Calvin is doing well. Tell him we're thinking about him.

Brenda whiteside said...

Here's 4 votes for Jockey. I do the silky ones but there's not wide band. I've been wearing for many years. Now, bras? I have to change every couple of years because of the mfg discontinuing. Grrrr.

Alison Henderson said...

OK, Brenda. Now, I really have to try Jockey.

Barbara Edwards said...

I finally settled on Jockey briefs. For all the reasons you liked yours.

Alicia Dean said...

I hate it when they discontinue my favorite products! I'm not that picky about underwear, so I can't really help you. But, I hope you find something you love. And, Happy Birthday!!