Sunday, January 3, 2016

My 23 Pair of Chromosomes by Vonnie Davis

I'm intrigued by DNA and Chromosomes. An egotistical interest, perhaps, but I feel I know my twenty-three pair that make But then we all know I don't have a scientific mind. Let me describe my pairs ...

1. I was born with red hair, but at sixty it naturally turned dark brown. Thank God for beauticians.
2. I speak with a stutter, but sing smoothly, just not on key.
3. I love sports, but throw a ball at me and I will close my eyes.
4. I crave sweet and salty foods, but never at the same time.
5. Before I started writing full-time, I thought I knew it all, now after five years, I realize I know nothing.
6. I can't write while TV shows or movies are playing, but can really knock out the word count during football and basketball games.
7. My eyes have macular degeneration. Wet in one eye and dry in the other. Even my eyes don't match.
8. I've got a vivid imagination, but can't come up with one decent book title.
9. I can eat an 8 ounce candy bar and gain 6 pounds, 9 ounces (Go figure).
10. It's a compulsion to give all my children, grandchildren, and book heroines nicknames, even though I find them annoying for other people.
11. It's easier for me to fall going up steps than it is for me to fall going down.
12. I hate talking on the phone, but will instant message you to death.
13. I can do math in my head, but put a formula in front of me and my brain freezes.
14. I can drink whiskey and strong mixed drinks, but am drunk on half a beer.
15. I can grow silk flowers, but real ones seem to die (My sons claim it's the lack of watering).
16. I passed my driver's license test by wearing a mini-skirt, now if I wear a short skirt, I'm arrested for indecent exposure.
17. I can speak in Spanish, French, and Japanese and stutter in them all. I have a multi-lingual stutter.
18. I come from strong German stock, yet I can throw my back out with one good sneeze.
19. I have half an ovary and that little puppy worked so hard I was still having hot flashes and night sweats at 63.
20. My one salivary gland was removed because of cancer. You can say you know a writer who isn't worth spit and you'd be right.
21. I've had skin cancer in a spot that hadn't seen the sun in 40 years.
22. I can read and write music, but the only instrument I can play is the accordion. However, my boobs get caught in the billows.

There you go, my 23 opposing and complicated pair of chromosomes. Ooops! Well, darn, there are only 22. Hey, I'm a writer, not a mathematician.

For more about Vonnie Davis, visit


originalchele said...

Thank you Vonnie for sharing the Uniqueness that is you.

Margo Hoornstra said...

Talk about a contradiction in terms. A delightful contradiction in terms. Lucky you, Vonnie. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed myself.

Brenda Whiteside said...

Amusement first thing in the morning. Thanks, Vonnie.

Jannine Gallant said...

Now we know what makes you tick! Fun post, Vonnie.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Ah, just the right blog post to charge me up in the morning. I like the way you celebrate your contradictions; they are nuances, not negatives. As the show 'Mash' taught us we HAVE to laugh about what life throws at us. "Boobs caught in the bellows" - LOL!

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

You're quite welcome, Chele.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Margo, starting the new year by listing my pros and cons. Thanks for the compliment.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Thanks, Brenda. I adore making people smile.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Oh Jannine, sometimes I wonder what makes me tick. LOL

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

I got the accordion the year all the neighborhood kids got roller skates. While they were whizzing up and down the sidewalk, I was learning the scales. I hated that accordion, but loved music theory. I kept praying for God to get me out of playing that dratted instrument and then I began to develop and suddenly "boobs caught in the billows." Hey! How's that for a book title? Okay, maybe not.

Alison Henderson said...

I always knew you were a fun person, but now I'm awed by your complexity!LOL. Great post, Vonnie.

Leah St. James said...

Too funny, Vonnie! I share an amazing number of those traits! Thanks for your fun post. I'm glad I waited for a back-to-work Monday morning (after a 10-day vacation) to read it.

Diane Burton said...

Love your posts, Vonnie. You always make me laugh. #5 (change 5 yrs to 23) & 6 resonated with me.

Alicia Dean said...

Hahaha, LOL. I thoroughly enjoyed this post. You are a mass of contradictions, but as Margo said, delightful ones. I share a lot of these contradictions myself, I just don't know if I could come up with 23 (make that 22), interesting and amusing ones as you did. :)