Also, when did Valentine’s Day become just about the woman? If you don’t fast-forward through commercials on TV near this time of year, you’ll see that there are a million advertisements for jewelry, chick flicks, chocolates, and women’s clothing. How about some commercials for motorcycles, tools, gadgets and gizmos, sports equipment, old Clint Eastwood movies, and meat? (You know how much men love steaks. C’mon.) Don’t men deserve something for putting up with us women? Sure they do.
So here’s a list of ways to boycott Valentine’s Day should you be so inclined.
- Do not wear read, pink, or anything covered in hearts on February 14th.
- Do not leave catalogs for jewelry where you know your man will find them.
- Do not use sticky notes to mark the earrings you like in the catalogs mentioned in number 2 above.
- Do not buy new lingerie or the little heart candies with messages on them.
- Do not plan to watch a romantic comedy.
- Do not cook a dinner meant to activate your libido. Absolutely no seafood, blueberries, or cinnamon all of which are aphrodisiacs.
- Do not play smooth jazz with lots of saxophone.
- Do not write any “Roses are red, violets are blue” poems. (Good advice on any day really.)
- Do not light any candles.
ABRA CADAVER, The Wild Rose Press, available nowwww.christinedepetrillo.weebly.com