By
the time you read this, there will be twenty days to go to my daughter’s
wedding and I will be popping the valium at a steady rate. If you’re already sick of reading these posts
about the proceedings, imagine for a moment exactly how I feel. Did I mention I
also have a story coming out in an anthology June 1? That while I’ve been
rushing around to dress fittings and discussions with the florist, doing our
‘walk-through’ and tasting, buying shoes and seeing doctors in an effort to
make sure I’m healthy and fit on the day, I’ve also been doing edits and taking
part in various discussions on promo etc.
Luckily, I’m not the organizer of either event and both my daughter (with
a full time job) and the coordinator of the anthology have been brilliant.
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| Cristal at her NYC Bachlorette London to follow... |
But
one thing that has been highlighted in dealing with so many different people as
adjuncts to the wedding is the increase in plain ol’ bad customer service; it’s
a form of disrepect. In an article
concerning maddening customer service in the New York Times from
February, a consumer psychologist explained that our brains are hard-wired to
receive respect because disrespect meant we were overlooked, and to be
overlooked meant we were left to die. You know that feeling when you’re on the end of a phone to a service center
and are kept waiting for what seems like hours with music you wouldn’t play at
a cat’s funeral. In one incident I was dealing with, I had ordered hand cream
to put in the ladies’ restroom and the company sent the wrong ones. When I finally found the secret telephone number on
their website, there was no answer, only a recording to send them an email. When I sent the email, there was no reply to that for several days though they did respond after a second
email. The same week the exact same thing happened with a jitney company I had used. With that company, I eventually wrote to their head office who
got on to their customer relations person who had not been responding. She offered me as recompense five, five
dollar coupons. Only two arrived. Apparently,
companies now are ONLY concerned with their bottom line: you’ve bought the product or used the service
so there’s no need for them to go further. Goodness, it seems even if you have
an airline ticket, not only does it not mean you’re guaranteed a seat, but
heck, they can drag you off the dang plane if they want.
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| Shoe buying |
Back
at the wedding, we had been warned that there would be ‘no replies.’ Everyone I
know who has thrown a party of some nature has suffered this outright rudeness.
Why it has evolved is beyond me, that someone cannot take the two minutes
necessary to either stuff a reply card in a stamped envelope or go on line to reply, but
there it is. Does it enhance their self-esteem to make you go the extra mile to
track them down, email them or text them personally to ask if they’re coming? At
the other end of the spectrum, I’m still waiting for a thank-you note for a
gift sent for a July, 2016, wedding I was unable to attend. It appears that the
accepted ‘deadline’ is now three months so I’m not holding my breath.
As
I come to finish this post, ‘Wedding Wire’ has just popped into my email box “10
Ways to Reduce Stress During Wedding Planning.”
Amongst their suggestions to hire a wedding planner, exercise, get out
of town, and learn a new skill is ‘Talk About It.’ Thanks for listening!
15 comments:
Happy to listen, Andrea. I've had my share of rudeness, too. But let me share an example of good customer service. Last night, Hubs & I went to Olive Garden for dinner. His dish came piping hot. Mine, not so much. More like lukewarm. The restaurant was busy, our server (like the others) rushed around like a madwoman. Maybe Hubs should have tried to flag her down or waited for her to show up and ask how our "first bites" were. However, the dish was so good I kept eating. (Besides, who knows how long it would have taken to return the dish to be warmed up?) The manager stopped at our table on his rounds and I told him that while delicious, it could have been warmer. He apologized & said he'd talk to the kitchen. When our server did come, I repeated what I'd told the manager. After she returned with Hubs' CC receipt, she handed me a gift card from the manager. The upshot is while we didn't have great service, they tried to make it right.
Ah the headaches of wedding planning. I've only one son who married when he was a bit older, so I missed this special treat. You are so correct about service nowadays. Good luck and I hope the pictures turn out beautifully so you can remember all the good moments.
Diane, I'm glad to hear there are oases of good service around. what you describe has also happened to me; if the food is cool, there's no real point in hanging about to complain while everyone else at the table eats. On the wedding side, so far everyone's service has been pretty darn good and no complaints there...as yet.
Brenda, I'm sure the headaches will all be worth it as I snuggle into bed at 3am Monday morning the 29th. Or will it be pass out at 3 am...,
Sometimes it seems like people don't care as much when the service is long distance. In Tahoe, local business are pretty good about customer service since the whole economy of the area hinges on tourism. Best of luck surviving until the big day!
The first thing that popped into my head...to relieve your pain...get even with a review! Today the world operates on reviews, don't we know it! We check restaurant reviews before we commit to one, especially in a new town; we don't put our money down on a VRBO until we've seen the ratings and read through all the reviews. So after the wedding, know you've got the chance to write reviews, the good, bad and ugly. Until then, whenever you're seething, jot down those apt phrases that will go into your upcoming reviews. Meanwhile, enjoy the wedding!
Jannine I think you're right to an extent--local businesses are usually more wary although at times, out here for instance in the Hamptons where I am now, they don't give a darn because if you don't want to return, the next person will kill for your table or whatever. I guess it's not so throughout the country, however.
Rolynn, you're certainly correct about the people involved with the wedding. We checked all reviews and if those guys don't deliver, they can be sure of a lousy review. So far so good, however--it seems to be the young guests who are less well behaved!!
As for the thank you notes, this is a habit that parents must ingrain in their children from young. I have crayoned thank you notes from some of my grandchildren I've kept in a memories file along with cards sent for occasions. As they've grown up, the practice continues. But parents have to explain the importance of them...and we, as adults have to reciprocate, with thank you notes to them when they do something nice for us. Allow them the special feeling of being appreciated, even if it's only for carrying our luggage to the car and loading it in the trunk.
When I was in school--long long ago!!--we were taught the 'art' of writing thank you notes. I hope I've passed that knowledge its the right thing to do to my daughter. She and her fiance have already started writing their thank-yous.
Nice shoes! If it's any consolation, I have to say the wedding is looking to be lovely and memorable for all. I love the personal touches. I had to laugh at the "secret phone number." There is a site I have to go to for help occasionally and the phone number for help is elusive. Once in a blue moon it appears! Why is it so hard to get direct, personal attention as a consumer? And then there are those dreadful recorded menus to sort you out. Despite my best intentions I tend to space out and miss my exit on the menu and have to listen to it again and again. Well, you're almost there and I can't wait to see the pictures.Thanks for sharing.
Glad you like the shoes. I've found the secret to getting the telephone number for customer service--google it!! Try finding it on most sites, like Amazon or whatever, and you search for hours. Put 'soandso customer service telephone' into google search, and voila!
Customer service problems are so aggravating, but to go through them while you're planning a wedding... AND an anthology...I'd be climbing the walls and doing some creative name-calling. I'm sure the event will be just lovely. Love the shoes! Can't wait to see photos.
Customer service problems ARE aggravating--especially when you hang on the line only to be asked to email them. And then the scratchy music you don't want to hear... We'll have to compare notes and photos, Leah!
Customer service? What a concept. Unless someone has a stake in the business, sadly, many could care less. Those shoes, though, look great. You have my unending awe. I'm involved in an anthology coming out June 1 too. Luckily, my son's wedding won't take place until next year. Don't think I'd be able to cope as well as you are. Hang in there. Both will be great.
As always, Andrea, awesome blog. Ahhh, customer service, RSVP's and thank you notes. You've hit the New Age trifecta of what is no longer as it used to be! Customer service is soooo spotty nowadays. Some places really bend over backwards to make you happy, but most don't. I like the idea (forgot who said it) of reviews. Great way to get revenge! If anyone pays attention. LOL People NOT RSVP'ing has me completely and utterly baffled, too. I have a good friend who used to LOVE to throw parties, all kinds of parties, but a few years back, she quit, completely quit. Even her traditional Christmas ornament swap of 25 years. Why? People quit RSVP'ing, so she never knew how many to plan for. Then they would show up, but not just the person she invited, they would bring Aunt Molly, Sister Laurie, Daughter Deliah, etc. You get my drift. She said it gave her too many sleepless nights and so she quit doing all parties. I'm with you, I don't understand the two minutes it takes to respond. Thank you notes, unfortunately, are like dinosaurs, a thing of the past, though I must say my DIL is a master at them and she's teaching my granddaughters, too, so maybe, somewhere there is hope. I had to finally tell my DIL that a simple oral thank you to me sufficed, since we're close family. Though, I also admit, the habit is a good one. Oh, and I love the shoes, too, wish I could wear such beautiful shoes, but those days are over for me!
Margo and Hebby, thanks for the kind words about the shoes--but I have to admit I've also bought a glitzy pair of sneakers to sneak (!) on later when my feet tire out.
Margo, you'll be great for your son's wedding and I'll look forward to hearing about that in due course.
Hebby, I'm glad to know there's a small section of Texas continuing the art of thank-you notes--it sure is a dying breed.
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