Friday, February 12, 2016

HELP! There's a Man in my Kitchen by Vonnie Davis

Over a year ago, my lovely kittens,
In the land of plotting and writing each day,
A man sauntered into my kitchen
To whisk some of my stresses away.

A good hearted man, gentle and kind.
Who set about rearranging my cabinets.
Not a measuring cup nor knife can I find.
Where the toaster once sat, Mr. Coffee resides.

I'm grateful for the help, I really am.
He shops, he cooks, he cleans--
And moves the dishes, pots and pans.
My Lord, I can't even find a can of beans.

The canister for macaroni is now filled with nuts.
Every side of the counter has a salt and pepper set of its own.
In the cabinet where I once stored glasses, coffee mugs he puts.
There's no sugar in the canister; it's spaghetti, broken.

He's moved onto the laundry room.
Folks, don't even get me started.
A falling jug of fabric softener makes a hellofa boom.
Mopping it requires a mop and language that can't be parted.

His unfolded underwear is jammed into drawers,
And my nightgowns hung on hangers.
His socks rolled from his feet are washed and dried in balls.
I love him dearly, so I've learned to ignore the man in my kitchen using vinegar and Dawn to mop my floors. 

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Margo Hoornstra said...

Love, love, love that picture of the happy couple. Congratulations, Vonnie. Does he do baseboards with those floors?

Leah St. James said...

What a great post, Vonnie! Like Margo, I love the picture. So sweet. My hubby does our laundry, and I long ago learned to remove anything that requires special care (meaning doesn't get dried, or not on high heat). I also try to fold my clothes before he can get to them. The funny thing -- he hates the way I fold his as well! :-)

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Calvin doesn't do baseboards. I follow behind when he's gone into the den and wipe them off.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Calvin has yet to get the concept of separating colors. He looks at us and says mixing colors works well. I laugh and hide my delicates and whites to do myself. Folding??? Calvin thinks that's a waste of time. LOL He's showing me he supports my writing, so I take the good with the craziness.

Brenda Whiteside said...

Funny. I understand your pain and pleasure!

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

And, Brenda, we both understand I'll never make a poet. LOL

Brenda Whiteside said...

Hey, it was clever and amusing, Vonnie. Isn't poetry suppose to entertain?

Jannine Gallant said...

This morning I truly believe men should be banned from the kitchen as a general rule. My husband made the coffee (as he usually does) then got distracted, flipped it on and left the room. Several minutes later I glanced over to see the pot still sitting on the counter. Let's just say it took 20 min to clean up all the water and grounds EVERYWHERE! So, I feel your pain! Cute post that made me smile this morning when I needed one!

Alicia Dean said...

Ha, such a cute post! LOVE it...this is my kind of poetry. Made me laugh and smile. :) The pic of you and Calvin is adorable. He is indeed a special man. I will admit, though, I was a bit concerned about the word you were going to use that rhymes with 'parted' :) Since I live alone, I don't have any funny or frustrating stories about a husband. BUT, boy, could I share some from when I was married! LOL

Alison Henderson said...

The kitchen reorganization remains my favorite Calvin story. I shared it with OG as a cautionary tale. He knows I wouldn't be nearly as understanding as you. LOL

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Jannine, we've had "the coffee runneth" emergency, too. It goes under everything, doesn't it? Down the front of cabinets, into drawers. Not fun. Glad my post made you smile.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Let's admit it, Alicia, men are a comical lot. Fodder for exasperating and humorous stories. My Calvin is a gem. He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me...most days. LOL

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

Thanks Alison. Well OG has been forewarned. I never knew Calvin would run amuck in my kitchen or I'd never allowed him to set foot in there.

Diane Burton said...

Love this. The guys mean well, don't they? I've found my nightgowns on hangers, too. As you said, he's trying to show his support for your writing. Mine, too. Your Calvin is a keeper.

Rolynn Anderson said...

MDB...I haven't met a man who doesn't have Male Dirt Blindness. Seriously, how can you get mad at them when they truly don't SEE the dirt. I've tried to calm down about that particular shortfall which I am sure Calvin doesn't have!

Arial Burnz said...

This was ADORABLE, Vonnie!!! And Brenda is spot was very entertaining, as poetry should be! I LOVE that picture of you two, too!

Thanks for sharing such a special part of your life - your marriage. You're a lucky woman...and he's a lucky man. :D

Arial ;)