I met Betsy when I was in my late teens. She worked with my sister, and as the two grew close, I was drawn into their circle. She was quite a bit older than the two of us so took on a quasi-motherly role with us over time, someone I could turn to for (often brutally honest) advice. No matter the topic, I always walked away from those conversations feeling comforted, and loved.
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When my kids were born, Betsy became their honorary grandmother. She attended their “Grandparent Day” events at school and joined us for all our family birthday parties, graduations and other celebrations. She filled a void that circumstances had left in their lives and became their treasured confidante.
As my kids grew and went off to college, and my husband and I moved to a different state, our contact became more and more rare. But the times we spoke on the phone or got to visit were precious. As she entered her mid-90s, and I knew life was becoming difficult for her, I told myself to prepare for the day she’d be gone. I also knew I’d never really be prepared.
Later today we’ll gather with her daughter and son, her grandchildren, nieces, nephews and other loved ones to say good-bye and to celebrate her wonderful life. I want to get up and speak, to share how special she has been to us, but I’m not a speaker and am not sure I’ll be able to.
So for now, I honor her with these words. I honor her with the knowledge that if I make even half the impact on the people in my life as she did in hers, I’ll consider myself to have done well.
Rest in peace, Betsy. You live in my heart now and in the hearts of all those you touched, and you left us all better for having known and loved you.
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14 comments:
My condolences, Leah. People like Betsy are gifted with a natural ability to empathize and serve in the role people desperately need filled. They are rare and precious...you were lucky to have known her. All the people who attend the memorial and speak about Betsy are a part of her living legacy. Remarkable!
I agree with Rolynn. My dear friend was my ex-mother-in-law. I used to joke that I'd gotten custody of her in the divorce. She listened to me when I needed to unload. She empathized with everything I'd been through. When she fell and broke her hip, I took care of her when she got home from her stay at a therapy facility. When she had cataract surgery, she called on me to come take care of her for two weeks. She was a voracious reader of romance--a book a day. My kids adored her. She had the biggest heart. Hang on to all your sweet memories of your friend. They are a gift, just as she was.
My condolences, Leah. Those were very moving words. Not everyone is so blessed as to have someone like that in their life.
What a wonderful person to have been in your lives, Leah.
Thanks, Rolynn. The service was beautiful and so many shared loving memories. She was loved by many. I am lucky to have known her.
That's wonderful, Vonnie, that you had such a special relationship with your mother-in-law. I'll bet she felt the same. :-)
You're right, Andi. My family and I were blessed by her presence in our lives. It was a celebration today of all that she meant to everyone.
Thanks, Brenda. She was. :-)
What a touching tribute, Leah. I'm sorry for your loss, but at least you have wonderful memories of your friend. Sometimes writing our feelings is a whole lot easier than speaking them.
Lovely tribute to a wonderful person in your life. You were so fortunate to know her. My husband's aunt was like that. I considered her my 3rd mother and she became another grandmother to my children. Deepest sympathy to you and your family.
Writing is always easier than speaking for me, Jannine. I'm not the kind of person who can come back with zingers. I need to percolate before I speak. Even with time to think, I hate public speaking. Thankfully there were plenty of people who did speak. It was a lovely, life-affirming service.
That's wonderful, Diane about your "other mother." I guess it just proves there is no limit on love. :-)
A lovely, moving tribute.
What a lovely tribute to a special woman. I'm deeply sorry for your loss, but it seems you'll never really 'lose' her. She's made her mark on your life, and that's something you'll always treasure.
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