I saw Ann Margaret in a movie last week. She's in her 70s, and I thought she looked awful, not because of her age, but because she's trying to not age. The facial surgery was obvious. Most of us hate wrinkles, but the alternative (if you have the money) sure doesn't seem like a good alternative.
There is a quote that I thought one actress was known for, but when I looked it up, several actresses have been credited in one form or another: At a certain age, a woman has to choose between her face and her ass.
I have to think the quote was before plastic surgery became so popular.
I went looking for other quotes along the same line. The following are noteworthy:
There comes a time in a every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne...Betty Davis (Love it, I think I'll start keeping a bottle around.)
Look at that! Look how she moves! That's just like Jell-O on springs...movie, Some Like It Hot (This one is very old and shows how men used to view a nice shape. The perfect woman now is slim and muscled. Marilyn Monroe was anything but.)
I identify more with who I feel myself to be than what I look like...Carrie Fisher (This is one I'd like to subscribe to.)
Now I'm off to do a few sit ups and stand on my head!
22 comments:
Oh, you're preaching to my choir here, Brenda! I have friends who refuse to color their hair because they are proud of the wear and tear brought by living a full life. While I applaud that sentiment, I also hate dull, lifeless looking hair! I'm in the "hoping to age gracefully" category. I don't want to hide my advancing years, but I don't necessarily want to advertise them either! Great post. :-)
Oh Leah. FDW told me I should stop worrying, let my hair grow long and gray. OMG For one thing, I've dyed my hair since I was 16. And dishwater blonde with mostly gray is not my idea of attractive! I'll always shoot for my best, short of surgery, and never be happy about the aging thing. I'll accept some of it, no choice, but I'm not very graceful about it.
I'm with you, Brenda--I'll accept some of it but I'm not happy. Can't imagine letting my hair go grey. And as for the sagging body, it seems to me I just woke up one morning and it had drooped and nothing fit. And going to the gym etc. doesn't seem to help...
Aging. Ha! Most of my female relatives, most of whom are OLDER than me, still have their natural color hair with 'just a hint of grey' throughout. Me, on the other hand, I have been totally, totally grey for some years now. (I always say I lived a harder life ;-) I've been dying and/or frosting my hair since about 14 or 15. (Remember peroxide rinses? What were we thinking?) While the all grey/silvery hair looks great on some women, I"m not one of them. I opt for what they call low-lights, darker color on grey, sort of the reverse frost. My favorite saying - Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Doctor Seuss. MY words to live by.
Look at Jane Fonda. She's pushing 80 but will readily admit she's had everything done by a great surgeon!I I live in California so it's a given you never age!!! I work out every day but some days I feel like I can only breathe in air and drink water to not gain any weight!!! I think it's Whoopi Goldberg who always says we should be so happy we're allowed to have another birhthday. I always remember Maria Shriver saying the face/ass comment. I guess we get to chose to walk forward or backward!!! Let's just all keep moving.
I am a big advocate of that!!!
I'm not going to let my hair go gray anytime soon, that's for sure! As for the sagging and weight gain, ugh. I walk miles every day. My arm is still in pain from shoveling snow. I don't have time to add much more exercise to my schedule. I swear to God, I quit eating ice cream for a week and gained weight, so short of not eating, period, I don't see a solution. We hit middle age, and NOTHING seems to stop those extra pounds. It's depressing. I guess we all have to accept we aren't going to look like we did when we were in our twenties ever again.
I loved the quotes you found. I'll hit 69 next month...with a head of hair freshly colored. The rest of me has sagged and spread and I seriously have no time to be bothered. I'm active. I'm sassy. I'm alive. I've survived 2 cancers. I'm very happy with this stage of my life. Because I am so blessed with happiness.
My father-in-law had a quick retort to the topic of aging: it beats the alternative. On days when my body protests moving, I work hard at remembering his comment. Like Vonnie, I'm happy to be here. I'm enjoying the grandkids, proud of our kids, and proud of what I've accomplished with my writing. If I can make people read, laugh, think, then I'm satisfied.
I'll admit to a few silver threads among the gold, as long as no one can see them but my hairstylist. I'm doing everything I can to stay as youthful and lively as possible, but my skin is refusing to play along. No wrinkles, but loose and saggy in the oddest places--like the insides of my elbows. Ah, well. All you can do is fight the good fight and laugh about the rest.
Loved this discussion. Familiar. As a young woman, I preferred men friends. Women seemed insincere. However, the older I get, the more I appreciate my female friends. When Husband Bill's mother died in 1983, she and her friends all wore their hair brilliantly white (occasionally with a slight tinge of blue). Son Jim, 7, asked if I'd "start putting that black stuff" on my hair again. "Okay," I agreed, "but why do you care?" "Because," he said quietly, "ladies with white hair die." He had a point. I've colored my hair ever since.
Andrea, if only I had the time. I do squats to help combat the falling ass. I have light weights by my chair that I try to remember to use for my arms. I know it would take a whole lot more time than I have to give to really shape up. I hate gyms. It seems we need to work out more and eat less as we age. Bummer!!
Margo, if I had the solid white/silver hair that some do, I love it. But not so for me. I'll always foil!
Word Actress...you are so right. Just keep moving. Better to stay healthy no matter what we look like.
Jannine, no, the 20s are gone. I'd settle for the 40s. LOL
Vonnie, you go!
Diane, yay for you!
Alison, it is funny where the sags start. I looked at my arm one day and said "Whose is that?"
Sharon, love you story. Touching. But a damned good reason to dye (and not die).
The days of short sleeved shirts? Gone! Though I wear capris, I think those days are over as well. What's with the leg veins popping out? I'm a dishwater blond and highlight my hair. I know the gray is in there...but I don't think anyone can tell. I've got a case of golfer's elbow and I'm not happy, but I'll still play golf, come hell or high... Yup, we mush on!
I quit short sleeves for a couple of years and the capris too, Rolynn. But it's so dang hot in AZ. We spend most of our time in an adult RV park and as I look around, I don't look any worse than the other women my age. So I went back to comfort dressing. I yam what I yam... unless I'm feeling insecure or dressing to look better (in my mind).
I quit sleeveless and shorts for a few years, but went back to them. I really only care what one person (besides me) thinks about how I look and he's good with it, so I am, too. Good post, Brenda.
I'm of the same mind, Liz. Comfort won out.
Aging is on my mind a lot because I'm about to turn 75. I lost my mom recently, and she was 97. She never had any surgery to change her looks and she was beautiful. I think her secret was that special ability to flash a genuine smile at just the right time. That's my goal. A smile is a lot easier (and less painful) than a facelift!
You are so right, Patricia. A great smile bestowed upon anyone brightens their day, and what they see is a lovely person.
Wonderful post! from another drooper!
Excellent post. I am also noticing the age. I tried not coloring my hair. For the past three weeks it's been due, but I tried not to. The thing is, I don't mind the grey as much as I do the texture and unmanageability. I'm another one who doesn't have 'pretty' gray. I definitely need to exercise and take better care of myself. It's never too late, right?
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