Thursday, May 1, 2014

My Neck and Other Things I Feel Bad About by Rolynn Anderson

It’s May at The Roses of Prose, and we’re talking about the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.  My neck comes to mind.  How is your neck looking these days?  Find yourself grimacing or edging your chin forward in order to smooth out the wrinkles?  Yup, I’ve got a turkey neck…hear me gobble.

It’s the wonderful Nora Ephron who brought up necks in her witty I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK.  It’s a laugh-out-loud compendium of how we women feel as our bodies betray us.  The ding-dang neck problem has her pontificating: “You can’t have too many turtleneck sweaters.” 

She feels badly about her too-full purses, the roll around her tummy, tight shoes, the 2/3rds of her clothes in her closet she never wears.  I say ‘Amen.’  Nora Ephron has nailed the Bad and the Ugly. 

The Good?  About aging, Nora said, “Consider the Alternative.”  When she wrote the neck book she was cringing over an impending 65th birthday.  We all know she made it to her 71st celebration before the “alternative,” happened.  That’s the Good.  This talented director, screenwriter and producer, who gave gems such as “Sleepless in Seattle,” “Julia and Julia,” “You’ve got Mail,” "Silkwood," and “When Harry Met Sally,” lived a full life and gave us stories we’ll never forget. 

She also said: “There’s nothing wrong with ordering two desserts.”

Even if I don’t like my neck, it's definitely better than the alternative.  I’ll seize the day and keep writing stories like Nora did.  In the spirit of Nora’s witty look at life, what part of aging ticks you off?

P.S.  Speaking of aging, LIE CATCHERS, in worldwide release, is one month old.  In one more month I’ll be signing books in Petersburg, Alaska, the setting for my double murder mystery/romance.  Can’t wait!  Here’s LIE CATCHERS


Two unsolved murders will tear apart an Alaska fishing town unless a writer and a government agent reveal their secret obsessions.

Treasury agent Parker Browne is working undercover in Petersburg, Alaska to investigate a money scam and a murder. His prime suspect, Liv Hanson, is a freelance writer struggling to save her family’s business. Free spirited, full of life, and with a talent for catching liars, she fascinates Parker.

Trying to prove she’s a legitimate writer who cares about Petersburg’s issues, Liv pens a series of newspaper articles about an old, unsolved murder. When her cold case ties in with Parker’s investigation, bullets start to fly.

Parker understands money trails, and Liv knows the town residents. But he gave up on love two years ago, and she trusts no one, especially with her carefully guarded secret. If they mesh their skills to find the killers, will they survive the fallout?


Liz Flaherty said...

Good morning! The part I mind is how fast everything goes now. I enjoy everything so much, but I'd like to enjoy it longer!

Diane Burton said...

While reading your post, I'm watching the Today Show's segment "Love Your Selfie" about body image--esp. cancer survivors and their battle scars. Like Liz, I feel that life is going by too quickly.

Susan Macatee said...

Hi! For me it's the fingers. With all the typing I have to do, they started to get stiff and crooked. I now take joint medication and now they're not as bad, but it's a constant reminder that the years are swiftly moving along and I have to take care of myself above all else. Not looking forward to my next birthday where I'll hit the 60 mark, but it's better than the alternative. I just try to stay healthy and strong.

Joanne Stewart said...

Great topic! I'm only 41, but I've definitely noticed age setting in. I'm with Susan on the stiff fingers. I've got tendinitis in my hands and I suspect a bit of arthritis as well. I don't have the strength in them I used to and they cramp easier and the cold just makes them stiffen up.

I also hate the eating thing. I've begun eating the things my grandparents ate when I was growing up. You know, low sodium, low fat, forcing myself to eat awful things like veggies, etc. I've developed a sensitive system and I can't eat what I used to. Desserts are kind of a no-no for me. I can eat some if it's small and two is a definite no-go.

I have to admit, though, that wrinkles don't bother me much. My dad died when he was 49. I've lost a lot of people too young. So, I consider wrinkles a badge of honor. I love watching my husband's hair go gray, knowing I've been with him long enough to remember when it wasn't that color.

Though my positive attitude may change the more my body heads south for the winter. lol

Nikki said...

I'm 64 (Will you still need me?). Wrinkles, age spots, and gray hair don't bother me at all. I feel I've earned them. I have NOT earned the trouble with my eyes, though. My doc & I have been working since Jan. to get the new glasses right but I still see double. Argh.

Gravity, though, is not my friend. The gradual stuff--the sags and bags--are bearable. But the ground seems a lot harder now, even though I'm closer to it, having lost an inch somewhere. I think it settled around my waist. Anyway, in the past few years I've ridden my bike into a pothole (sprained wrist), been thrown from a horse (collarbone problems), and fallen off a mountain (torn rotator cuffs).

And with gardening, hiking and biking due to start any day now, gravity had better watch out. It's not nice to mess with little old ladies.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Liz and Diane, I'm with you...the time (especially the good ones) go by so quickly!

Joanne and Susan, the hand problems of an author are serious. Hope the drugs keep you limber.

Joanne, your positive attitude about wrinkles...given your family history...I understand. I agree with you about food. What boring things we have to eat...and I wish I were brave enough to eat two desserts like Nora suggests...when desserts go right to my thighs!

Nikki, we definitely still need you at 64 :-) My goodness you are active -bikes, mountains and horses-but the falls are a problem. And lordy...the eyes...we authors have to have our eyes in shape. I wish you and your doctor good luck!

Thanks for all you comments, everyone!

Betsy Ashton said...

This conversation is hysterical. May I add something from a male friend. His family has a history of the men dying before they turn 40. Kidney disease is the culprit. He had a transplant about three years ago when he was in his 50s. The first man to get out of his 40s. Now, he has macular degeneration. His ophthalmologist asked if there was a history of this disorder in his family. My friend said. No. Everyone died before they had to deal with old age problems. His doc didn't know what to say. For my friend, every day is a brand new world. More power to him and all of us lovely ladies, wrinkles and all.,

Margo Hoornstra said...

Wrinkles, arthritic fingers, failing eyesight. Ain't life grand? But, as you say, beats the alternative. Onward, All!

Alicia Dean said...

When I begin to age, I'll let you know.... Ha! Just kidding. I DO know. :) I don't know what really bothers me, nothing all that much. I'm 52 and none of the big birthdays have bothered me yet. We'll see. Lately, my memory/mind hasn't functioned as well as I would like, but I think that might just be because of the zillion things I have going on. I, too, am grateful for each day.

Jannine Gallant said...

10 extra pounds. I seemed to have acquired them since turning 50 (I'll be 52 in July) and I'm over them. I want to give them back. But, they seem to love me and won't go away. All I can say is they better not invite any friends along for the ride!

Rolynn Anderson said...

Betsy, there's ALWAYS a bright side to everything...including the fact that humans never used to live past 30 years (early humanoids), if they were lucky not to got eaten by some beast first.

Alicia, I think you're right. We have so ding-dang much crammed into our do we sort it all? It's a curse and a blessing...give me an hour and I can think of the name of it (P.S. nouns go first...I call most things a 'humma-humma" so I can name things quickly. Sounds clever, but covers my memory failings :-)

Ahh, Jannine, you hit a sore point. I've had 20 pounds to shed for ages...then I had knee surgery and suddenly, they're gone! I wouldn't wish knee surgery on ANYONE, but those 20 so-called friends of mine...I'm happy to say bye-bye

Alison Henderson said...

Rolynn, I'm with you. I don't really have any wrinkles to speak of but oh, my neck! I'm trying to ignore all those ads for neck lifts, but one of these days I might cave.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Alison, I'm thinking of regarding the wrinkles on my neck like the rings on a tree...inevitable as well as a record of what we've been through. I have a few more wrinkles as the result of my home renovation :-) . But I'm happy I went through the experience!

glenys said...

Your blog made me smile - yes, I confess to having ladled skin cream onto my neck for years, but I think it's maybe a losing battle :-( Time does seem to have speeded up - I find myself thinking about things I want to do and suddenly thinking I need at least two more lifetimes to do them all....

Leah St. James said...

I'm one with the turkey neck thing, too. Ugh. And I can't stand anything around my neck so no camouflaging! Plus my hands look like they belong on someone about 20 years older. (That's what I get for ignoring my big sister's advice to constantly use hand cream!) A friend told me her mom uses PreparationH on her neck. I'm not kidding! (Does anyone know if there's a scent to that stuff???) :-)