Purpose
I firmly believe that everything should have a purpose.
Purpose is what drives us. Without it, we are aimless. Ships adrift. Chewing up
moments as if they are infinite. Even when we are doing something just because
we enjoy it, there is still a purpose—fun, relaxation, spending time with
friends.
I know I need to do more things in which enjoyment is the
purpose. I tend to be very work oriented. I’m at my peak when I’m crossing
things off my to-do list. I feel greatly satisfied when I accomplish “stuff.” I
get itchy when I’m trying to chill.
Take going out socially for example. There’s always a piece
of me that is annoyed about the time I’m spending on being out. I think about
all the things I could be finishing
up if I wasn’t out. Some errands. A few chores. Grading things. Writing things.
Getting ahead on something. I’ll admit to sometimes missing parts of conversations
with whomever I’m out with because I’m wondering what else I should be doing. I
lament the time I’m wasting.
I’ve got to learn to enjoy the present. To realize that time
out in the world with good people is never a waste. To give myself permission
to just “hang out” now and then. I don’t have to be going, going, going all the
time. It’s okay to stop and have an experience, whatever it may be.
I don’t have to be working all the time.
I’m looking forward to doing some recharging. I like to
think I’m a balanced person, but that’s not true. I definitely work more than
play. Time to level the scales and shift into a lower gear.
Just for a little while. Maybe.
Let me just add “relaxing” to my to-do list…
What do you do to unwind?
Toodles,
Chris
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10 comments:
I don't do shopping, except for groceries. I don't do lunch with the girls because they talk about the lamest things...and they're old. While I'm a young soon to be sixty-nine. I relax with my grandkids. I ask questions and they teach me with their answers. One grandson says high school is boring, so I dig until I find out why. One granddaughter has been married almost a year and teaches at a nursery school. She fills me in on behavior problems she watches for since her degree is in Psychology. Another grandson, a freshman at MIT, has gotten an internship working with the 2020 Mars Land Rover. He's doing research on how to tell if rocks held moisture and the age of its carbon without sending along heavy equipment previously used to do this analysis. So, my relaxing time is with them. And at the movies with Calvin. If the movie's good, I don't think about my WIP one time. That's how I gauge the quality of the movie.
I'm afraid I'm just like you, Chris. I go to my paycheck job and get irritated if my writing time there is interrupted by actual work (multi-tasking at its best!). I'm well ahead of my deadlines to turn in my next two books under contract, but I feel like I have to write all the time--just in case. I used to see local friends frequently when my girls were little. Now, rarely since I don't have a "reason." My relaxing time is walking/snowshoeing in the woods with Ginger. But then again I know I'm getting exercise and thinking about my WIP in addition to enjoying nature, so I'm still multi-tasking. I totally fail at downtime!
Vonnie, so wonderful that you have the grandkids for relaxation time. They sound like interesting folks.
Jannine! I knew you'd be the one to identify with my way of thinking here! LOL. We don't have "off" buttons!
Adding myself to the "always-on" list here! I'm afraid I'm turning into a hermit because my weekends are spent in my office doing some writing thing or another. And I'm never satisfied that I've done enough. I bemoan the passing of weekend hours while I wish the work-day hours away (so I can get back to my writing tasks). When I do get time to spend with friends and family, I enjoy, but that "you should be writing" clock is always ticking in the back of my head. Sounds like I need to take some of your advice, Chris!
I've always been drive to produce, too. I love the feeling of accomplishment I get from checking things off my to-do list. OG says I've "got the go going." I'm happy to report, however, that after four years of retirement, I'm getting better at gearing down from time to time. I now have more time to garden, which is good for me physically and mentally. I've joined a garden club. I enjoy having coffee with a fellow writer every couple of weeks and talking writing. OG and I go out to lunch every week or two. I may not get as much done as I used to, but I'm OK with that (or at least getting close!)
I hear a LOUD echo here. I am busier than ever, and most of it is centered on writing. I golf, but I've dropped out of being tournament chair (a job I held for 15 years). I'm hiring someone to keep up with the yard (half acre)...all to get more time for writing. Because my husband and I travel 3-4 months out of the year, we haven't established solid friendships here in CA, leaving old friends in WA. What I think suffers with people like us is relationships...they are tough to build/nurture and can't be controlled like we do our novels. I regret that result of being an author and a traveler/boater
I remember sitting on a beach once on vacation and wishing I was back at my desk writing my book. I think creative people have an urgent need to CREATE that over-rides everything and, most likely, that's what you are feeling. Nowadays a number of other things, notably family and friends, come first. I'm not one of those who churn out a book a month and never will be and accept that. Life should have balance. My two cents...
Looks like by and large, authors are not satisfied to just sit, like take time to smell the roses. My husband says I don't know how to relax. Doing nothing is not relaxing to me. I admire your goal to do it differently, Chris, and all I can say is good luck. LOL I've been telling myself that for the last couple of years. I did make a change a few years back that freed up some time...of course I didn't use the time freed for the typical relaxation. What I did do is quit doing things I don't want to do. I'm with Vonnie in I don't do lunch with the girls or shop. I don't go places just because I'm asked or feel obligated. I try to spend all my time where I want to be. Not that I can entirely, but it helped to opt out of what I could.
I force myself to go to lunch with Newcomers because I like the ladies and I need to do something other than stay home and write. Still, I dislike giving up some of my writing time. Evening activities are better since I don't write at night--no creativity. Hubs and I often wonder how we had time to work our full-time jobs. Now that we're retired we are busy. Love the time spent with the grandkiddies. I don't care that I'm not writing when I'm with them.
I completely understand. I don't even know the meaning of true 'down time' - It's probably a good idea to try it, though. :)
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