Pirates & Parents: When #Spellcheck Helps Out by Andrea Downing

It was when ‘black wooly sock’ appeared as ‘black wooly dick’ that I decided to write this particular blog.  In this digital age of writing/texting rather than talking on the phone, mistakes are rampant.  A friend with whom I correspond informed me her husband was perplexed by her text, “I’m with a bunch of pirates.” As she said, he wasn’t using his ‘context reasoning,’ to discover she was with other parents, wise advice for us all.  Her son is visiting New Zealand and wrote, “defiantly the best time I’ve had.” One can only wonder whom he was defying in being so happy.

Then there are the suggested responses one encounters on iPad and other devices, depending on your browser.  When the same friend finished an email that she was off to bed, iPad suggested I respond, ‘Safe travels!’  A text from the contractor who services my irrigation system must have been a mix of spellcheck/autocorrect and his translation app.  It read, “good days mrs. Andy w. the irrigation this all the 5 areas working, and not there is no liqueo or cut, the head of the photo, not this working off, the I will when end . . . .” You get the picture.

Then, of course, there’s tone, how you meant something and it comes out as if you’re snarling.  We now know that all caps is SHOUTING, but how many times have you written something for it only to be misconstrued because of the interpreter’s presumed tone of your text?

 Now I’m thinking perhaps spellcheck is excellent practice for editing.  You know, you read that ms. a dozen times and still don’t see that “dong” instead of “doing” or “havens” instead of “heavens.”  

If only spellcheck had some reasoning built into it. Unfortunately, we don’t seem to be getting used to these mistakes. When a text I sent to my daughter came out, “Pop fizzing down to cheesecake,” she texted back, “wait . . .is that some sort of code for “help”?

I’d love to hear about any miswritten or misconstrued texts you’ve dealt with. In the meantime, there are hopefully no text mistakes in City Boy, Country Heart, available at https://www.amazon.com/City-Boy-Country-Heart-Contemporary-ebook/dp/B07DN2S3F1/   

Rodeo star and rancher Chay Ridgway has traded Wyoming for New York in order to be with his girlfriend, K.C. Daniels, while she completes an M.A.  With Chay facing a tough ride in the big city, can K.C. keep a tight rein on this cowboy, or will the wide open spaces of Wyoming call his country heart home?

Excerpt:

Chay lay spread out on the bed, fully clothed, legs crossed, boots still on, arms locked behind his head. His coat, scarf, and hat were dropped on the floor.

K.C. clicked the door shut behind her and stood staring at him, not knowing where to start. “You heard?”

“I heard.” He pulled his knees in, hugging them and then, as if just now realizing his boots were still on, he swung his legs off the bed. “Shall we report her to the police for having marijuana on the premises?” He turned to look at K.C., his smirk belying the jest behind his words.

“You’re not serious.”

“No,” he said, getting to his feet and going to her. “But it’s a nice idea. Pay-back.” He pulled K.C. into his arms and rested his chin on her head. “She really is a bitch. How in heaven’s name did you ever get friendly with her?”

“Oh, you know…we were in the same classes in college as undergrads, had a few laughs, went out to parties together, and just became friends. You know how it is.”

He pulled away, his hands still gripping her arms. “No, K.C., I don’t know how it is. I haven’t been to college, haven’t found something in common with people who smoke weed, who lie about others, make false accusations like that.”

K.C. snapped away, throwing her coat on the bed. “Well, excuse me. I didn’t know I was sleeping with someone so perfect, almost holy.”

“You want to have an argument over this? I had to listen to that crap; I’ve put up with her nasty lies and insinuations and garbage while you’re not here during the day. And now you want to take her side?”

“Geesh, Chay! I am not taking her side in anything! I was simply explaining how I became friends with someone you don’t like.”

“Maybe you are a really bad judge of character. Maybe that’s why you went out with Jamie.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” She thought back to the terrible evening with Jamie at his ranch, how he had got her to the empty house under pretense of giving her dinner and tried to rape her by drugging her. If she hadn’t run out, and flagged down Chay, who happened to be heading back to the Lazy S from his own ranch, the ending could have been a whole lot different—could have been deadly. She shivered at the thought. “I went out with Jamie because he seemed nice. I’d been warned about you. We’ve gone through all this. Both Breezy and Dakota told me you were a ‘love ’em and leave ’em’ type and to stay away from you.”

Chay plunked down on the foot of the bed and sighed. “And I was. Until I met you.”

She knew him well enough now to see the wheels of his mind working, how uncomplicated his life used to be, how being single was so much easier than taking into consideration the feelings and needs of another person, how being selfish just made everything so simple with no one else to consider.

K.C. dropped down beside him and took his hand in hers, playing with it, spreading out his fingers before entwining with them. “Not so calloused as they used to be.”

“No.” He grimaced. “You’re going to make a softie of me if I stay here.”

For a second she considered the words, ‘if I stay here’ but let it go. The first real smile of the day filled K.C.’s face and lit up her eyes as she pulled her hand free and caressed his crotch. “Not quite a softie!”

And then his phone rang.