A Look Back at Mommy by Calisa Rhose

Join me in welcoming Calisa Rhose to the Roses of Prose today.

Hi ladies! Thank you for having me on Roses of Prose! I’m in awe of the wonderful talent surrounding me, but thrilled to be a one-dayer.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my parents lately. Partly because it is the season to celebrate mothers and fathers, but also because it’s the season of both their passing. We lost Mommy on April 29, 1984, unexpectedly, from an unknown heart issue at the young age of 46, just eleven days before her birthday. To say we miss her is an understatement. We lost Daddy four years later, on May 26, 1988, at 62 to a multitude of illnesses from a hard life. I love and miss him terribly too.

But I’m happy to say I am who I am because of those two wonderful people. I think back about Mommy and I know she wasn’t the perfect mother. She wasn’t always there when I needed her. She liked to go out and party on weekends with or without my Daddy. There were times one of the kids were sick and she’d check on us and then leave for the night. I had hard feelings about her for years, but when I married Mitch that seemed to just go away. We spent eight months together before she died and I have some very fond memories of those months.

I remember praying one day as a young teen that God keep mom alive until I came to my senses and forgive her for not being perfect. Did I blame myself for how she was? Not at all. I did recognize my part in our distanced relationship, however. I was bitter and resentful when she divorced my dad and left us kids with him without, or so I thought, a second look. We talked years later and she tried to explain her actions. I still don’t understand how a mother could leave her children like she did, as she said I would once I had kids of my own, but I do think I understand her a little more. She was a mother, unwed, at 16 and life was not always kind to her. By the time she left us I think she just needed to be her for a while. She married my dad a month before she had her first baby- not his- and never had a wild child time to sow oats and she was one of those people who apparently needed that to become a whole person.

Then again, maybe I’m looking for a silver lining where there isn’t one. I choose to see it anyway.

What I do know for certain was Mommy was ecstatic when I became pregnant with her first grandbaby. She was proud to be able to be a part of my life during the early months of that journey. That was the times I cherish most in my life with her. When my mom became my friend.

Sadly, God granted my prayer and as we became closer and forgiveness was a given for both of us she became sick and no one knew it--or she just didn’t tell anyone. With a new peace in our relationship He took her three months before I gave birth and Mom never saw her first grandbaby. But He also let her live until I came to my senses…as I’d asked so many years before.

Was my prayer a premonition? I’ll never know. Sometimes I feel selfish and wish I’d stayed mad at her longer if it would have kept her here with us so mine and my sister’s babies and grandbabies could have met her. I’m just glad I asked him to give us that chance to heal before He took her. It just goes to show me- God hears prayers and forgiveness is golden.

It’s late--but Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy. I love and miss you.

I’m thankful I had a better relationship than my heroine in Risk Factors did with her parents. If you don’t mind I’d like to share a little of this March release with your readers now.

RISK FACTORS- available March 4, 2013

Love, like life, is not without risk.

BLURB- Veterinarian Vivian Dane has purchased her uncle’s practice in the tiny town of Wales,

Missouri, where most residents still doubt her ability to treat their pets. But Viv is used to being

considered less-worthy than her predecessors. After all, her parents are world-renowned wildlife

vets, and most everyone is unimpressed she’s chosen to not follow directly in their footsteps.

Now Connor, a patient’s owner, is hot for Viv, but clearly doesn’t think she’s dating material

because he has a daughter…who he believes no woman is good enough for.

Being a perfect dad is EMT paramedic Connor’s life focus. He can’t seem to stay away

from sexy Doctor Viv, but attraction is as far as he’ll ever let it go. His mother abandoned him,

leaving him to be raised in the foster system, and then his wife abandoned both him and their

daughter. He absolutely will not risk bringing another woman into his little girl’s life and having

her feel the hurt of being left…again.

Forfeiting is easier than attempting and failing. So why does Viv feel compelled to prove

she’s a sure bet for Connor and his daughter? Can Connor trust Viv--and himself--enough to play

the possibilities?

LONG EXCERPT:

It was close to five o’clock and Viv wanted to go home. Winter hadn’t reached the Midwest yet, but from September through October the temperatures often dipped and dove sporadically, before diving for the long winter ahead. There’d been a slight chill in the air that morning and she hoped for a few more weeks of warmth before harsh weather moved in.

She looked forward to a hot soak in the bathtub, but Skittles was due for pick-up first. Connor had assured her he’d pick her up, or have his father get her before five. She glanced at her watch again. Four-fifty-six. She didn’t mind staying late if she needed to; it would be a shame to leave the nervous animal alone another night.

She opened the small closet to put the dust mop away.

“Hello.”

With a start, she spun and her hand caught the broom handle on her way around. Gasping, she grabbed uselessly, horrified as the cleaning tool flew sideways from the closet. In slow motion she saw it shoot out against Connor’s shoulder and fall with a sharp snap onto the tile floor.

“Oh! I’m so--so sorry! Are you hurt?” Instant heat rushed up her neck and she bent to reclaim the errant broom to shove into the closet. She slammed the door and leaned against it on a sharp breath.

“I’m fine. You worried your killer broom might attack again? You might consider putting a lock on the door,” he said with a crooked smile.

Puzzled, Viv looked around and realized with total humiliation how it appeared she’d trapped the broom inside the closet--when in actuality, she wanted to climb through the door beside the instrument and hide.

“Of course not. That would be silly. I didn’t expect you right now.”

“It’s two minutes of five. I told you I’d be here for Skittles. Is it too late?”

Right. The skunk. “No. I’m sure she’s more than ready to go home. Do you have the pet carrier to put her in?” She probably didn’t need to ask when Connor stood empty-handed before her.

He lowered his head and she knew he’d forgotten it, fought back a smile at his forgetfulness. “Sorry. I drove straight from work and didn’t think about it.”

“No worry. I have one you can borrow.” Which meant he’d have to see her again. She’d definitely need to see him again.

“Thank you. I’ll bring it back tomorrow.”

“Oh, there’s no rush. I keep a few on hand for emergencies.” She led him back to the cage where the skunk still huddled, and got a carrier while he opened the cage to retrieve his daughter’s pet. As he lifted the black fur ball out, Viv set a pink case next to him.

He hissed under his breath and almost let the animal loose. Viv opened the cage and held it upright for him to lower the skunk down inside and shut the door. Once he stood with the pet taxi, she detected a smear of red on one finger.

“She bit you?” Skunk bite, rabies, germs…

“It’s fine. When she’s scared she tends to nip a warning like a cat.” Connor’s lack of care concerned Viv, however.

“I should clean it with antiseptic before you go.”

“I’ll tend it when I get home.”

“But, it may have germs…get infected.”

“It’s not the first time, and her rabies vaccination is current. Thank you, but it’s not necessary.”

Viv stopped by a cabinet on the way to the front reception area to grab ointment and a Band-Aid.

LPI- http://lyricalpress.com/risk-factors/

Amazon- http://is.gd/OOGR4t  

B&N- http://is.gd/PfGvg9

iTunes- http://is.gd/J2aelz

Also, Risk Factors is on Authorgraph! Get your copy signed. http://www.authorgraph.com/authors/CalisaRhose

Author Bio:

Calisa Rhose is an Okie, born and bred, through and through, and proud of it. While growing up, when she wasn’t on the back of a horse, she could be found with pen and paper in hand. Her writing career began with poetry in her younger days. Then she discovered Rock-n-Roll and cute musicians. Poetry turned into stories of romance and dreams. These days she lives with the same man who convinced her to take a romantic journey with him almost 30 years ago. After raising three strong daughters she spends her days loving their granddaughters, hoping for a boy someday, and writing. When she’s not writing, you can find Calisa putting on her editor hat and working to help other published and aspiring writers.

She is working on more projects with her favored contemporary cowboys, first responders  and firemen, as well as, the occasional ‘other’ heroes- and their sexy female counterparts, those sassy, stubborn heroines.

Find Calisa at her website/blog http://calisarhose.wordpress.com

Twitter@CalisaRhose, Facebook/Calisa Rhose, Goodreads, Amazon and Pinterest

Thanks again for letting me come by today.