As this message posts on our blog, my son’s wedding is mere hours away. I tried to think of something else to write about, but my brain is too crowded with the seemingly endless details that even the MoG (mother of the groom) must attend to. More than that, my heart is too full of emotions I’m afraid to let loose. (You might recall how I sobbed just THINKING about the mother/son dance.)
Like many writers, I deal with emotions by setting them to words. So I write this a few days in advance, lying in bed while my husband snores softly beside me, and I think about our wedding day several decades ago. I remember that first joyous kiss as husband and wife, then turning to face our guests and thinking, “It’s us against the world.”
We’ve had our ups and downs and made mistakes (who hasn’t?), but those hills and valleys, joys and sorrows, have made us who we are today--far from perfect, but happy together.
I hope we’ve set a more positive than negative example for our son as he starts out in his own marriage. Still, if he were here right now (instead of off at his bachelor party!), I’d want to share some thoughts and "learnings" with him.
I’d tell him that marriage isn’t easy, even under the best conditions. I’d tell him that it takes work, it takes trust...and lots of love to pull it off. It takes biting your tongue and compromise and saying “I love you” when you really want to tell your spouse to go .. well, let’s not go there.
I’d tell him that as of this day, he and his bride are a team, unbreakable by their shared vows of love and honor.
That means having her back, in public and in private. It means protecting her, being loyal to her. It means cherishing her as if she is the one woman, among the millions in the world, uniquely meant for him.
I’d tell him he needs to be strong for her, but to let her see his vulnerabilities. And to let her be strong for him, too.
I’d let him know that when they argue, as I’m sure they will, he needs to consider her point of view, really consider it, because she is half of their team. And when those hard times fall, because they most likely will, to draw closer together and work on figuring things out, together.
I’d admonish him to work hard for his new family, but to play hard as well. His bride is a young woman, full of enthusiasm for life and the world. Go out together, see that world. Plan day trips. Save for and take vacations. Try new foods and recreate them in your kitchen. Go to local museums, plays and concerts. Go bowling or play golf.
Enjoy each other. Enjoy life.
Happy wedding day to my son and his bride. May this be the first of many days and years of joy, together.
Leah writes stories of mystery and romance, good and evil, and the very real power of love. Learn more about Leah’s writing on her website. Or visit her on Facebook where she posts about life in general. She loves meeting readers!