Saturday, November 23, 2013

Our First (And Only) Thanksgiving Alone by Margo Hoornstra


A recent post here at Roses of Prose by Alison Henderson got me thinking. You may remember Alison shared that this would be her very first Thanksgiving with her only daughter living too far away to make it home for dinner.

I could relate because, quite a few years ago, I was the daughter in a similar situation. Alison's daughter moved away from home to accept a new job. I had moved far from home, not so much by choice, but with my new husband who was Regular Army.

The Viet Nam conflict was in full swing. Those years were chaotic for many of us just starting out. Six weeks after our wedding, my husband was sent to Fort Knox for basic training. Obviously, no wives allowed. That was hard to accept. I returned to my old room at my parents house. Ron and I saw each other only a handful of times over the next three months. That was hard too. Then he graduated from basic and was assigned to missile school at Fort Bliss in El Paso, Texas. The good news, I could now go with him. The bad news, we'd be three days drive from where we lived in Michigan.

At the ripe old age of nineteen, I was away from home for the first time in my life. Sure my husband was with me, or more accurately, I was with him. We were so in love and thrilled to be together again. That didn't stop either one of us from being homesick. Especially as the holidays rolled around.

"You didn't miss much on Halloween." It was my father's attempt at humor. His way of softening the blow. His way of accepting the fact that both of his children - my brother was in the Navy at the time, stationed in California - wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving this year.

Determined to enjoy our own celebration, we went to the commissary and bought a turkey and, as they say, all the trimmings to cook in our new house. We invited some soldier friends over who would have otherwise spent the day in the barracks.



Forget the fact that I wasn't then, nor am I now the greatest cook. Having no clue what I was doing, I stuffed the turkey and put it in the oven as I'd seen my mother and my grandmothers do. We made mashed potatoes, probably a vegetable, though I don't remember what it was. We served gravy of some form or another. I don't remember the specifics of that either. What I do remember is, as we sat down to carve our bird, the first slice was tinged with green. Not a good sign. Upon further exploration, we discovered I'd neglected to remove the bag of giblets. But, hey, they were cooked too and the rest of the meat was fine. And we had a story to tell our children and grandchildren.

One of our guests, who happened to be a cook, baked a yellow cake with chocolate butter cream icing that was fantastic. The best we'd had, ever. Another story to share.

We talked, we joked, we laughed, we played cards after dinner. In short, we all had a good time. For a little while, none of us thought about being away from home, being away from our families, missing out on the traditions we'd known all our lives.

In the years since, we've been very lucky to be home when those holidays roll around. Celebrating with our parents and grandparents, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. As time went on, with our children and, more recently, our grandchildren.

There's something I've come to realize. That first, and only, Thanksgiving alone - we really weren't alone at all.

Have a terrific Thanksgiving everyone! Where ever you are on that day. Whomever you are with.


16 comments:

Alicia Dean said...

What a lovely, heartwarming story. I bet that Thanksgiving was one of the most special you've ever had. I'm sure the soldiers who joined you will never forget it. Thanks for sharing!!!

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

My first husband was in the Navy during that era, Margo. We were stationed Norfolk, a four-hour drive from our families, so we were always able to make it home for the holidays. This year, Calvin and I will be staying home. I have a book releasing on Thanksgiving Day, can you believe it? Since HarperImpulse is based in the UK, they don't observe the holiday. So I'll be online promoting while we eat a "take-out" meal from one of the local restaurants. Even so, we have much to be thankful for even with the oddness of the day's events. A lovely post.

RT Wolfe said...

What a lovely post, Margo. Thank you!
-R.T Wolfe

Jannine Gallant said...

A great story. I've had quite a few alone Thanksgiving, or had in my youth. Living in a resort community, I had to work on lots of holidays. I also remember leaving that bag of giblets in the neck area of the turkey one of my first "cooking" years. So you're in good company!

Margo Hoornstra said...

Alicia. Hard as it was, it is kind of one of my favorites.

Margo Hoornstra said...

Vonnie, A big wooooo whoooo for your release. Each year, the day is unique. Have a great one!

Margo Hoornstra said...

R. T. It was nice to relive the memories. Today I await the arrival of four kids, three in-law kids and four grandchildren to celebrate my oldest daughter's birthday. Where did the time go?

Margo Hoornstra said...

Jannine. Not you! With a cooking screw up? I am in good company. Over my career I've had to work on the holiday too. What are people thinking?

Melissa Keir said...

I remember my first birthday after getting married. Hubby seemed to forget. Family certainly did. We were about four hours away from family and broke! You know how college kids are!

Anyway, hubby found me crying and stopped at the store to buy two frozen pies (Lemon and some other custard pie). He put candles in it...and sang. Suddenly my family called. I think Hubby had his hand in that too. But my mom tried to remind me that now I was an adult and being an adult was a different part of life. I learned a lot that year of marriage.

I'm glad that you have not had to miss too many family holidays. I've been fortunate too. Family is important, esp. when time is too short.

Lucy Naylor Kubash said...

When we were younger, there was always tons of family around and we were never alone at Thanksgiving. Sometimes I wished for less family! But they were good times. We've spent a couple of holidays by ourselves when the kids couldn't make it home but now we usually travel to our daughter's house and this year the wandering son will be joining us. It will be nice to have our little family all together for the holiday. Best wishes to you and yours and enjoy the day.

Leah St. James said...

Great story, Margo, of young love. (Sigh.) I remember the first Thanksgiving one of my kids spent away from home. It was tough! But we raise them for just that, don't we (to go off to have lives of their own)? I had to send him off with love, and hope that I'd get him back the next year. :-)

Margo Hoornstra said...

Melissa. Sometimes we are forced to 'grow up' when we really aren't ready to. Sounds like hubby made the day for you. Great guy!

Margo Hoornstra said...

Lucy. Those times are precious when we manage to get our original family back together again. Cherish them!

Margo Hoornstra said...

Leah. We do raise our kids to be on their own. It's the best gift we can give them. That being said, giving the up, even temporarily, is hard.

Diane Burton said...

Lovely story, Margo. Your generosity in inviting others to share your Thanksgiving made a lovely memory for all of you.

Margo Hoornstra said...

Diane. Exactly. All of us were kind of in the same boat. I sometimes wonder if those guys ever think of us.