Thursday, January 12, 2012

I've Got a Bruise on my Forehead.

This is "get organized" month, and I dread every day of it. Organization is not my strong suit. Heck, it's not even my weak suit. With every lovely post on the fine art of organizing, I've gotten more and more depressed. I mean, isn't it bad enough Twinkies has gone into bankrupcy?

Everyday when I open our blog, I slap my forehead, and it's gotten so bad, my forehead is bruised.

"You should put something on that," Calvin suggested, his hand in the cookie jar.


When I opened the door to our medicine cabinet, two bottles of Nyquil hit me on the nose. Darn if I didn't have to clean the cabinet out just to find cotton balls to shove up my nose to stop the bleeding.

When dear Calvin saw my swollen nose, he said as he opened a bag of chips, "Maybe you should put ice on that."

Well, my ice bag is kept in the freezer. You know, just so I know where it's at. But when I opened the freezer, two half-gallons of ice cream fell on my feet and broke all my toes--or so it seemed. So I had to clean out and organize my freezer just to find the darn ice pack for my nose.


Altnough the ice took the swelling out of my nose, my toes were too swollen to squeeze into winter shoes, so I had to find a pair of sandals in my walk-in closet. I knelt and reached between stacks of plastic tubs full of summer clothing to find my favorite pair of strappy, comfy shoes. How was I to know that's where our neighbor's cat we're babysitting, while they're gone, takes his afternoon nap? Mr. Cuddles (NOT) scratched my arm to bits. So, I had to clean the darn closet and organize it just to find my sandals, flipflops, Dr. Schols...anything for my swollen tootsies.

Calvin saw me pouring peroxide on my arm. "You should probably wrap that," he suggested as he poured another cup of coffee. I shot him a dark look.

Problem was when I cleaned and organized the medicine cabinet, I put all the overflow into the linen closet. How...how was I to know Mr. Cuddles, still in a feline huff from having his hiding place disturbed, had laid claim to the linen closet?



I'm telling you I can't take any more organizing! I'm just not cut out for it. And if you think that picture is of me, let me say that dear helpful husband gave me one TOO many suggestions.

29 comments:

Rachel Brimble said...

LOL!! Vonnie, you are SO funny - this is a great blog. Fantastic to have a laugh while you're eating your morning toast :D

Rachel x
www.rachelbrimble.com

Margaret Tanner said...

Hi Vonnie,
Great blog, love your humour but I can certainly relate to what you went through. Loved the picture of the bandaged "body." Glad it wasn't you.

Regards

Margaret

Beth Trissel said...

Vonnie this is hilarious. Also sounds rather familiar.

AJ Nuest said...

You. Are. Hilarious. If I ever make it in publishing, I'm chartering a jet and flying the both of us someplace warm and tropical so we can spend the weekend together, drinking cocktails (served by half-nekid cabana boys) and laughing -- Oh my darlin, Vonnie, I just love ya to BITS! I used to be organized...before I became a writer. Now no one can find anything in the house because I generally cram all the extraneous "stuff" into whatever drawer I can find an empty spot. (Then my dh says, "Where'd we put the super glue?") We? What WE? I shoved the super glue...well, let's not go there. I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one. Hugs to you! Hope you're recovering from all those injuries!!

Jerri Hines said...

Vonnie,
You always make me smile. Cute!

Jannine Gallant said...

You crack me up! But hey, that closet is a marvel of organizing enginering! Maybe if I study it long enough...

Vonnie Davis said...

Rachel, thanks for stopping by. I hope you're enjoying my book. You know STORM'S INTERLUDE has a closet scene in it, too. But there's no humor there, just...well...you'll know when you get to it.

Vonnie Davis said...

Oh, Margaret, I love humor, too. It's one of my favorite things. I have an alter-ego--Ethel Feester--that I write short stories about for our writers' group here in Lynchburg. They keep encouraging me to compile them into a book called "Ethel-isms." Don't see a market for it, though.

Karyn Good said...

That was too funny. Thanks for the laugh!!

Vonnie Davis said...

Beth, I'm sure you're more organzied than I. My days are filled with writing. Now that I've finally started on my dream job--writing romance--the storylines keep coming. I only pray they're good ones.

Vonnie Davis said...

Hi AJ! The two of us together??? Could be a dangerous thing. You know, I've always wanted to visit a BDSM club, you know, just for research. We could go there together, have a couple margaritas and watch the...and watch...

Vonnie Davis said...

Thanks Jerri. I do love to laugh.

Vonnie Davis said...

Jannine, it is a fabulous closet, isn't it? One can actually find things!!!

Vonnie Davis said...

Karyn, so nice to see your lovely face. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

Jennifer Jakes said...

Oh, You're so funny!! Thanks for the laugh!! Love ya :)
PS - Did you remember to use straw hole in the plaster so Calvin can breathe???? LOL

Vonnie Davis said...

Jennifer, yup the straw hole is there for breathing, but NOT for commenting. Thanks for stopping by!

Barbara Edwards said...

Love it! My DH is exactly the same. Must be a male thing. lol

Vonnie Davis said...

Oh, Barbara, I think you're right. Dare we call it the "Male Gene of Stupid Sayings?"

Laura Breck said...

I'm laughing out loud, Vonnie. Now that I know the perils of organizing, maybe I WON'T clean the linen closet today...

Katherine said...

What a great post, Vonnie. I read it out loud to my co-workers during the lunch hour. We all thank you for a great laugh during a stressful day. :o)

Caroline Clemmons said...

Vonnie, what a hoot! I am so not organized even though I'm always trying to improve. My results are about like your blog.

Joanne Stewart said...

OMG. Vonnie I just love you. I really needed a laugh today. Thanks for yet another wonderfully amusing blog. This was hilarious.

Vonnie Davis said...

Lauren, stay safe...avoid cleaning out closets. This has been a public service announcement.

Vonnie Davis said...

Katherine, I'm glad I gave your office a laugh. That and a hug are two of my favorite things. Thanks for your comment.

Vonnie Davis said...

Caroline, when I put writing on one side of the scales and cleaning closets on the other, writing tips the scales every time!

Vonnie Davis said...

Hi sweet Joanne. If I made you laugh, I'm thrilled. Hope you had a good day writing.

glenys said...

Vonnie - that's hilarious - so glad not to be the only disorganised Rose! By the way, the mystery writer in me wants to just check - that wrapped up figure isn't REALLY your DH? Is it? (story idea begins to percolate...)

Vonnie Davis said...

HI Glenys--Have no fear, Calvin is safe and sound. Thanks for asking.

Calisa Rhose said...

Oh my dear Vonnie! That sounds like one of my days! Organized? Me? Those two words together are one huge oxy moron! But I like the way you think about watching...and...!!!!!