Thursday, October 2, 2014

Make Time for the People Who Matter by Jannine Gallant


Grandma August 2012
We're all so busy with our everyday lives, it's easy to let significant relationships fall through the cracks. Whether it's old friends or relatives--I want to speak to the importance of making time for the people who've played a huge role in our lives while we have the opportunity. Heaven knows I'm guilty of putting things and people off. But this summer, I took time from my job and asked my daughters to do the same to spend a few days with my mom and grandma. This trip is our annual summer pilgrimage back to the small town where I grew up. It used to be for a week and was easy to arrange. Lately, with summer jobs and other commitments, the stay has been harder to coordinate and shorter in duration. But we pulled it together, and I'll be forever grateful for those four days.

Me and Grandma August 2013
My grandma's health has been shaky for a couple of years. At 98, her short term memory was shot as early dementia set in. She broke her leg when she was 96. Doctors didn't expect her to make it through surgery, but she stubbornly refused to give up. Rehab was a challenge of gigantic proportions, but grandma persevered. As she'd done her whole life, she faced hardship with strength and good humor for those around her. All her caregivers loved her. Despite physical limitations that made the simplest tasks a challenge, she maintained a sweet disposition and didn't turn into one of those cranky old ladies.

Tara and Kristen with their great-grandma August 2014
So, we brought my grandma out from her assisted living home to spend four days with her at my mom's house. She so enjoyed being surrounded by family, sitting out on the deck where she could see all my mom's flowers, smiling at the girls as they came and went and stopped to talk to her. I was happy to help care for her and came away with an enduring respect for the people who aid the elderly on a daily basis. We took her home the night before we were to leave, and she spent a long time telling each of us goodbye. I assured her we'd see her at Thanksgiving, and she nodded but looked so very tired. In the middle of the night we got a call that she'd passed in her sleep. I truly think she'd decided it was time to go. And in her usual style, Grandma did what she'd made up her mind to do. She simply let go.

Having those days is something I'll always treasure. So don't put off visiting loved ones--don't let people fall through the cracks of your busy life. Take the time to enjoy them while you can.

Website          Facebook          Twitter

15 comments:

Rolynn Anderson said...

Oh, Jannine, my heart goes out to you for your loss, but I'm so glad you spent those precious days with her. Your lesson is a good one; staying connected to those we love is so important! Hugs to you, friend.

Leah St. James said...

Me too, Jannine. My heart is breaking for your loss, but glad at the same time that you and your mom and girls had this final special time together. You are so right that we often get so caught up in how busy we are, we forget to cherish (in a tangible way) our loved ones. Thank you for the reminder.

Margo Hoornstra said...

Grandma sounds like such a great person. That you and the girls got to be with her was a wonderful gift. My best to all of you, my friend.

Liz Flaherty said...

What precious memories! I'm sorry for your loss, but it sounds as though she had a lot of splendid in her life--including how she passed. Like you, I'll bet (and hope) she decided it was time.

Jannine Gallant said...

Thank you everyone, for your kind words. My grandma was a remarkable woman, and she did live a very full life. Knowing that is a comfort.

Alicia Dean said...

What a precious story. I'm sorry for your loss as well, but it sounds like you were blessed to have this great lady in your life, as she was blessed to have you. Such a good message, so true. Don't put off spending time with people who matter. My uncle recently passed, he was in a nursing facility in another town, and I kept meaning to go see him but didn't. I'm glad you and your daughters spent that time with your grandmother.

Alison Henderson said...

What a blessing for you and your girls to be able to spend your grandmother's last days with her. My grandmother lived to be 98, but dementia completely stole her away the last few years. At the time I lived hundreds of miles away, and I'll always regret not seeing her during that time.

Jannine Gallant said...

I feel for you, Ally. It's so easy to put things off. I'm going to try to be better about not doing that.

Alison, thankfully my grandma only had problems with her short term memory. She could remember her past, just not what she had for breakfast or that she'd asked us the same question multiple times. Let's hope researchers find better treatment for dementia patients before we get to be in our 90's.

glenys said...

Jannine - I am so sorry for your loss - your grandma sounds like a wonderful lady and you must be so glad that you had those last few days with her.

Jannine Gallant said...

Very glad, Glenys. Thank you.

Diane Burton said...

What a touching story, Jannine. I'm glad you got to spend so much time with your grandmother before she passed. One of my favorite memories of my mom is the trip we took with my daughter to St. Louis where Mom was born. We visited relatives and her favorite places. Alzheimer's was creeping in at the time. It was the last trip we took together. Your advice, Jannine, is so true. We have to make time for those we love.

Barbara Edwards said...

Wonderful idea and so nice.

Jannine Gallant said...

Glad you had that trip, Diane. Sounds like a special time.

Thanks, Barb.

Donna Michaels said...

So sorry for your loss, Jannine. Very glad you had those last, special days with your grandmother. It's truly amazing to think of all the incredible things she'd seen and lived through in her 98 years. Bless her.

Jannine Gallant said...

Thank you, Donna. Looking back over the last 98 years, the scope of what my grandma experienced sort of boggles the mind! A lot has happened since 1915, that's for sure!