MoG Report - Part IV: The Wedding by Leah St. James

My son and his bride were married two weeks ago on a sun-bright day, surrounded by family and friends and lots of love. And it was perfect.

Were there little glitches? Of course.
Did they matter? Not in the least. 

Rather than go into a lengthy narrative, I'll share bits and pieces and (of course!) some photos.

The Dress
(Mine, I mean.) :-)

 I chose the Adrianna Papell gown in navy with the deep v-neck and "mermaid" flare. It was comfortable to move in and made me feel good. (On a side note, shame on the woman in the hotel lobby who exclaimed, loudly, as I walked by that it was tacky to wear a long gown to an afternoon wedding. The wedding was late afternoon, the reception was evening...and I was the MoG! Shame on her!)

My sister made me a beautiful sapphire blue necklace and I found dangly earrings to match! 

The Ceremony
It was a lovely, traditional ceremony. My son got choked up reciting his vows, and when his bride reached up to tenderly caress his cheek, tears began to flow--mine, my sister's, probably half the women in the church and even the pastor's! (He couldn't talk for a minute after that!) It was moving and loving. It was perfect.

The Mother-Son Dance

You might recall what a tough decision this was for me, how worried I was I'd start bawling like an idiot. After weeks of searching, we went with Sweet Child O' Mine performed by Sheryl Crow. I know, some of you are probably thinking, What the...huh?? But it has an upbeat rhythm despite its somewhat sentimental message. And I love this version which is sung from the woman's (mother's) perspective.

"He's got eyes of the bluest skies
"As if they thought of rain
"I'd hate to look into those eyes
"And see an ounce of pain..."

(Written by Duff Rose Mc Kagan, Steven Adler, W. Axl Rose, Izzy Stradlin)

We cut it off after about two minutes, which was a good thing because I'm sure our simple box-stepping was a giant yawn to the guests. (Hopefully they enjoyed the music while we danced!) I did NOT cry, but I did indulge myself in a log bear-hug before letting my son return to his bride.

The Party
I danced all night with my hubby (slow dances) and friends (fast dances), so many thanks to whoever it was (Diane?) who suggested bringing a second pair of comfortable shoes. That was a lifesaver! Still, when the party broke up, I hobbled back to the hotel on achy feet, and when I crawled into bed later, every muscle from my waist down throbbed.  Maybe a person of a certain age isn't meant to jump up and down like a pogo stick for a couple hours straight? Lying there in pain, I had to content myself with the hope all the excess expenditure of calories made up for the excess consumption of food! 

Apologies for the fuzziness for a few of these!

The After-Party
The happy couple honeymooned in Cape May (NJ) and hubby, Son No. 1 and I retreated to Virginia with my best friend from childhood (who had flown in from Iowa). A few days later, my friend and I treated ourselves to a mini ladies' vacation at an oceanfront hotel in Virginia Beach. More perfection. (How lucky am I?)

As I post this message, my son and his bride are celebrating their two-week anniversary. I hope they are recalling the day with the same joy and love that I am. And I know they'll be making fresh, new and wonderful memories in the years to come. Sigh...

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Leah writes stories of mystery and romance, good and evil, and the power of love. She blogs here the 6th and 22nd of each month, and hangs out on Facebook and Twitter and occasionally Pinterest. She loves meeting and chatting with readers, so please stop by. Learn more about her writing at http://www.leahstjames.com.

Message for my son on his wedding day ~ Leah St. James

As this message posts on our blog, my son’s wedding is mere hours away. I tried to think of something else to write about, but my brain is too crowded with the seemingly endless details that even the MoG (mother of the groom) must attend to. More than that, my heart is too full of emotions I’m afraid to let loose. (You might recall how I sobbed just THINKING about the mother/son dance.)

Like many writers, I deal with emotions by setting them to words. So I write this a few days in advance, lying in bed while my husband snores softly beside me, and I think about our wedding day several decades ago. I remember that first joyous kiss as husband and wife, then turning to face our guests and thinking, “It’s us against the world.”

We’ve had our ups and downs and made mistakes (who hasn’t?), but those hills and valleys, joys and sorrows, have made us who we are today--far from perfect, but happy together. 

I hope we’ve set a more positive than negative example for our son as he starts out in his own marriage. Still, if he were here right now (instead of off at his bachelor party!), I’d want to share some thoughts and "learnings" with him.

I’d tell him that marriage isn’t easy, even under the best conditions. I’d tell him that it takes work, it takes trust...and lots of love to pull it off. It takes  biting your tongue and compromise and saying “I love you” when you really want to tell your spouse to go .. well, let’s not go there.

I’d tell him that as of this day, he and his bride are a team, unbreakable by their shared vows of love and honor. 

That means having her back, in public and in private. It means protecting her, being loyal to her. It means cherishing her as if she is the one woman, among the millions in the world, uniquely meant for him.

I’d tell him he needs to be strong for her, but to let her see his vulnerabilities. And to let her be strong for him, too.

I’d let him know that when they argue, as I’m sure they will, he needs to consider her point of view, really consider it, because she is half of their team. And when those hard times fall, because they most likely will, to draw closer together and work on figuring things out, together.

I’d admonish him to work hard for his new family, but to play hard as well. His bride is a young woman, full of enthusiasm for life and the world. Go out together, see that world. Plan day trips. Save for and take vacations. Try new foods and recreate them in your kitchen. Go to local museums, plays and concerts. Go bowling or play golf. 

Enjoy each other. Enjoy life.

Happy wedding day to my son and his bride. May this be the first of many days and years of joy,  together. 

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Leah writes stories of mystery and romance, good and evil, and the very real power of love. Learn more about Leah’s writing on her website. Or visit her on Facebook where she posts about life in general. She loves meeting readers!

I hate blubbering in public! ~ By Leah St. James

I can’t recall if I’ve mentioned before, but my younger son is getting married in July. As the Mother of the Groom (MoG, as I call myself), my involvement in the wedding planning has been fairly nonexistent in the year or so since the couple set the date. Things have ramped up in the past few weeks as the MoB (Mother of the Bride) asked for some help, which I’m happy to give. Plus I still have to find a venue for the rehearsal dinner which will be in a town where the couple grew up, 400-something miles away...meaning I can’t get there in advance to check it out... Oh, and I still have to buy a dress.

But it's all good. It's a happy stressful. Here's a picture from their Senior Prom, more than ten years ago, and they're still together. Aren't they cute?

Anyway, with all that on my mind, I had completely forgotten about the one part of the big event where I’ll really be in the spotlight–the part where my son and I do the groom/mother dance.

I realized this, ironically, when I was riding with him on the trip that I wrote about last month. We were on the way home with my sister, listening to his play list on his iPod, when I said, “Hey, (Son No. 2), do we have to pick a song to dance to for your wedding?” (I think there was a hint of panic in my voice.) “Uh...yeah....I guess so,” he answered, equally enthused.

Neither of us likes being in the spotlight, and neither of us is a skilled dancer. The chances of us breaking into one of those choreographed routines posted on YouTube are probably zero, so picture us swaying to some ballad in the middle of an empty dance floor for an interminable three or four minutes ... if not longer depending on which song we pick...

Determined to tackle this task head on, I pulled out my phone and started Googling “Mother/son dance songs for weddings.” Of course I got pages of suggestions and started scrolling through one that said “Top 50 mother/song dance songs for weddings.” Certainly I could find a song among 50!

First on the list: Josh Groban’s “You Lift Me Up.” Hmm...it’s a nice song, but doesn’t really give me a mother/son vibe.

Next was “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. It’s one of my favorite songs by Diana Ross and the Supremes, but again, not a mother/son song, to me.

On I searched through a lengthy list of songs by country music artists. All seemed perfectly acceptable, but my son really, really loathes country music, so they were out.

Next came some pop groups like Boyz 2 Men. My son hates pop music.

Moving on... “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole. Okay, it has an island-type beat (which makes sense since he’s Hawaiian), which my son (oddly) does love. Unfortunately...he HATES The Wizard of Oz!

Good grief, I thought as I continued scrolling. There must be a song...

Finally my eyes lit on “Child of Mine” by Carole King.

“I love Carol King!” I announced as I clicked on the YouTube video.

I listened to the lyrics (briefly excerpted here):

“Although you see the world
Different from me
Sometimes I can touch upon
The wonders that you see
All the new colors
And pictures you’ve designed
Oh yes, sweet darling
So glad you are a child of mine...”

Oh dear...my chest tightened, my eyes began to fill, and just that fast I burst into tears. “Are you CRYING, Mom?” the object of my emotion shouted from the front seat. I couldn’t answer so my sister passed a handful of tissues back to me. They didn’t help.

I kid you not, I cried like that for ten straight minutes...then I stopped for a few and started crying some more. I’m crying now just thinking about it. (Who was it who wrote the blog a few weeks back about criers??)

Obviously sentimental songs are out, which probably means ballads are out. Which means we might have to do one of those choreographed mother/son dances that will keep me so busy and focused I won’t think about the fact that my BABY is GETTING MARRIED!

I’m sure everything will be fine. I’m sure as I’m blubbering in front of all these people, and my face mottles, my nose swells and turns an unattractive shade of burgundy, everyone will understand. Right?

Just in case...any of you who’ve married off your sons and had to go through this, HELP! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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Leah writes stories of mystery and romance, good and evil and the power of love. She blogs here on the 6th and 22nd of the month and promises to share pictures of the mother/son wedding dance when the time comes, as long as they don’t show her face. 

Visit Leah at LeahStJames.com or on Facebook at Facebook.com/leahstjames

Success by Diane Burton

Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success. ~ Henry Ford

Several years ago, I worked with a young woman who was going through (and ending) a difficult marriage. When my anniversary came around, she asked how we stayed together so long—now 42 years. I wished I could have told her Henry Ford’s quote. How very true it is about a marriage. Also true for any partnership.

I did tell her that marriage is not a 50-50 deal. Sometimes one gives more than 50% and sometimes the other person does. But it should never be the same person always giving.

Hubs and I came together on a blind date. And we clicked. You know how a romance starts. Stars in the eyes. We see no wrongs. Our loved one is perfect. After the wedding, reality sets in. He leaves his underwear on the floor and the toilet seat up. She nags. Kids come along and she’s overwhelmed with diapers and mountains of laundry. He comes home from the factory or office, worn out by heat, traffic, and bosses who require the impossible. All he wants is peace and quiet. She wants adult conversation. Even though that’s a scenario probably not relevant to today’s couple, there have to be some similarities.

I followed my husband’s job to five different cities. Just when I got settled in one spot, we moved again. Five times in a long marriage is nothing compared to what the families of our service men and women endure. Each move required me staying behind to deal with the details of putting a house up for sale, arranging for movers, transferring the kids’ school records, etc. That’s when I felt like I was giving a whole lot more than 50%. Often I didn’t think how lonely it had to be for Hubs living in a motel room while his family was hundreds of miles away. Driving (or flying) home every weekend with its incumbent stress while trying to provide financially for his family must have felt like he was giving the most.

It’s a good thing we don’t keep score. LOL

What we have figured out is that we each have our strengths. By building on those strengths, our marriage goes on. Has it always been wonderful? Of course not. But even during times of stress, we’ve talked out our problems and worked together. That’s success.

This week I'm participating in the Love at First Sight Valentine's Day Hop. Great prizes. Check it out.  http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/

 

Falling in Love by Diane Burton

Forty-two years ago, I fell in love. Many of you know that I met my love on a blind date. The first time he called, we talked for over an hour. That was how easy and comfortable he felt. It turned out we lived in the same apartment complex, his building kitty-corner from mine. If not for our well-meaning friends, we never would have met. He worked odd hours at a steel mill while I was a teacher with regular hours. We met in June, got engaged in August, and married on Thanksgiving Day. Yep, the actual day. Just like my mother and her mother. And my daughter. She and I made a pact that my granddaughter would NOT follow that tradition.

I didn’t think I would ever love anyone as strongly as I loved my Hubs. I was wrong. Two years later, along came our daughter and I fell in love with her. A year after that, our son arrived. Another love fest. Okay, that was it. I was blessed three times over.

Seven years ago, another little girl stole my heart. From the first time my granddaughter snuggled in, I was lost. Three years after that, a little boy made me fall in love again. How could I not? Those two precious children love me unconditionally. There’s a saying that if I knew how much fun grandchildren could be, I’d have had them first. How true that is.

The grandkiddies are here this morning. They stayed overnight so their parents could have “date night.” Hubs and I moved closer to them just for this. Our daughter tries so hard not to take advantage of us that we almost have to beg so the kiddies can come over. In turn, the kiddies frequently plead with their parents to let them stay overnight here. I love it!

I thought things couldn’t be any better. Then our son and daughter-in-law gave us more good news. In May, another little girl will arrive and I just know I’m going to fall in love again.

The heart is amazing. It just keeps expanding, allowing us to love more than we thought possible. While it’s usually just Hubs and me, we’ve fallen into the routine of two people who have been together for a long time. Our mornings usually start with “How did you sleep?” and end with “I hope you get a good night’s sleep.” Real romantic, huh? Yet in between we still find things to talk about.

Falling in love is exciting and wondrous. Staying in love is even better. As I usually say in the acknowledgements at the end of my books, I’m so glad our friends fixed us up on that blind date.

Lasting love is why I write romance. I want my characters to find that happy-ever-after, even though some of them go into relationships with a happy-for-now attitude. They don’t think they’ll ever find everlasting love. That’s the situation in THE CASE OF THE BYGONE BROTHER. Alex O’Hara is so busy she doesn’t have time to fall in love, have children, and live happily ever after. Since this is a mystery, not a romance, that’s okay. Of course, she’s had a mad crush on Nick Palzetti ever since high school. Nick didn’t show interest in her then and he doesn’t now. Bummer.

Blurb:

PI Alex O’Hara finally gets a case that will give her bottom line a much needed boost. She might even be able to change her diet from ramen noodles to prime rib. All she has to do is track down a man who’s been missing for over ten years. Piece of cake . . . until an old flame arrives and a mugger roughs her up with orders to back off.

Excerpt:

“Hello, gorgeous.”

I whacked my head on the display shelf.

Well, what would you do if you were lying across the top of a four-drawer lateral file cabinet, and your arm—yardstick attached—was wedged between the wall and the cabinet, trying to retrieve the license renewal application that if you mangled, crushed or couldn’t get would mean the end of your business, and the ex-love-of-your-life stood in the doorway looking at your butt?

The shelf shook on its braces from contact with my head. Never mind that the encounter didn’t do much for the aforementioned body part. The Fair Haven Chamber of Commerce awards rattled, and signed Detroit Tigers baseballs pelted my head, shoulders, and the back of my thigh. I dropped the yardstick and swore.

“I thought you promised your mother you wouldn’t swear anymore.” He would remind me of that vow.

“Relapse,” I muttered as I looked over my shoulder.

In that loose-limbed, cocky manner I once thought scary, sexy, and so cool, Nick Palzetti stood in the doorway to the spare office. He even dressed the same in a black leather jacket, black knit shirt, and jeans that molded his hips. Lordy, he could still make my mouth go dry.

As I wiggled back and sideways across the long cabinet, I felt my skirt ride up. Of all days to wear a skirt. With my foot, I searched for the desk chair I’d climbed to get on top of the cabinet. I’d kicked off my high heels before standing on the chair, probably the only smart thing I’d done so far.

“Red panties, you naughty girl.”

Available at Amazon: http://amzn.com/B00P1GPR0Q