Friday, February 10, 2017

A Family Home...What's That? by Rolynn Anderson

I don’t have a ‘first home.’ In my youth, I adjusted to new homes about 25 times (Army brat).  As an adult I spent 33 years in 6 different homes in Washington State.  For the last 17 years, my husband and I have lived part time in Arroyo Grande, CA.  Many of the people I meet here in California come from another state.  In fact, I rarely meet people who have grown up and live near their family homes.  I keep thinking that the best (read: unusual) novel, might be about an extended family still maintaining a family home/compound through the generations.  How rare is that?

And who cares?  I have fared well (okay, no psychiatrist has examined me to make that judgment) by living a nomad life.  Yet I’m aware of a certain aura of entitlement that goes with the statement: "I’ve always lived here (close to my family) and I’m proud to say I always will."

I lived my early days as an Army brat and had no choice about moving from country to country (U.S., Germany, U.S., Japan, U.S., Korea, U.S.).  Did you?  Why did you move from your birthplace?  Looking back, any regrets...if you had it to do all over again, would you have stayed (or established) a ‘family home’ or are you glad you struck out on your own?  

Speaking of traveling, get ready for the release of my newest novel, BAD LIES, about an American geologist and a golfer who find trouble and love in Italy.  Countdown begins.  In two weeks, you'll be able to read BAD LIES:
  


Six Suspense Novels Spiked with Romance


19 comments:

Margo Hoornstra said...

Except for living in the southwest for the short time my husband was in the Army, I've lived in Michigan my whole life. Now all my kids are nearby too. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems location is irrelevant. It's where our hearts reside that matters most.

Leah St. James said...

I'm a lifelong east coaster, spending the bulk of my time in New Jersey before moving to Virginia ten years ago. (It was for a job move and to find a lower cost of living.) I do consider Jersey my home state (it's where we raised our family), and I miss so much...my friends, a "real" boardwalk, real pizza. :-) We haven't put the roots down here like we did there, and I'm not sure it feels like "home" even yet for that reason. I think Margo has it right--your heart calls the shot on "home."

Barbara Edwards said...

My father moved away from the family when I was three. I never did learn why. We spent weekends traveling to visit so it made no sense to me.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Margo, I think you're right. If you can't go 'home' again, you can gather with those you love as much as possible.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Leah, one thing I've learned is our move after retiring from education made the 'settling in' and getting to know people harder (No job connections anymore). My friendships have been made through golf and the working on the 51 home community we live in here. We have to make a bigger effort to build relationships.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Barb, you make a point. Just because they're family doesn't mean a lifelong relationship. Boy do I have stories about one of my aunts who coerced nieces and nephews to be nice to her or she wouldn't leave them money in her will. I stayed well away from her!

Brenda Whiteside said...

Born and raised in Phoenix. I'm a rare breed. It seems so many have come to the valley of sun from somewhere else. But even though my family never moved out of the city and I had tons of relatives around me, we moved often. I went to six different grade schools. I married young, at 19, to an army man so for six years we moved around from base to base including Germany. I'm a nomad at heart. FDW and I have lived in six states and two countries, in twenty some homes. I love it. In all that moving, there is only one home I miss, wish we could've kept. It was our choice to move back to AZ to be near family. It is the people not the place that finally drew us back. I'm sure your nomadic ways lend good insight for your stories, Rolynn.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Brenda, yours is an interesting story...leaving home for adventures and finding your way back there again. You're lucky to have been a nomad AND have a home to return to. My sister in Wisconsin has never left Janesville and never will. Her children live no more than an hour from her. She's so happy with her life this way (and grateful when my husband and I lure her away for adventures, at times).

Down here in CA, a big reason for the move is weather (we're in that category). Lower taxes is another one.

Diane Burton said...

I had a family home growing up. After marriage, we still lived 1/2 hour from my parents, less than that from Hubs' folks. Then we started the trek around the Midwest, following Hubs' job. We lived in various places from 2 yrs to 14 (still can't believe that one). With retirement and our daughter's family moving to West Michigan, I told Hubs I wanted to live close to (at the time) our only grandchildren. Also said I'm not moving again. They'll have to carry me out feet first. We'll see how that turns out. LOL I'd like to spend more time with Son & family in AZ, esp. in the winter (like now). Of course, what I'm really hoping for is that he & fam. will move close to us. They talk about it, but I'll believe it when it happens. Hardly anyone lives near the home where they grew up anymore. Even my mom moved after Dad died. She often said the best thing she did was move into a condo. The old house was too much work.

Vonnie Davis ~ Romance Author said...

I had an aunt and uncle who owned a farm and had nine children. All nine were given an acre of land along the road on which to build a house and did. Grandkids ran in and out of Aunt Viola's house like the wind, raiding her cookie jar. I loved the commotion as a kid and visited often during the summer, staying at one cousin's house or another. We ran like wild animals over the farm. But once I was grown, it was too much closeness for me. Aunt Viola knew everything about everybody. I value my privacy. So, I'm more the nomad type. If I had the money, I'd live in Paris. But we're too old to make that move now.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Diane, you raise a great point: 'hell, I'm not moving again.' After having moved a lot and working hard to remodel our present home so it's 'just so,' I'm not in the mood to move again, even to get closer to relatives. I'm glad you have some of your chickies closely...and an excuse to travel giving equal time to the kids in AZ. What I've learned from my friends: the young families don't have money to travel, so often the grandparents have to do the traveling!

Rolynn Anderson said...

Vonnie, another good point. Close isn't always better. But dang, with all my travels, I've left more friends than I can count, and too many to keep track of. I miss not having lifelong close friends, except for my DH. Oh well, we can't have it all!

Alison Henderson said...

I grew up in Kansas City and lived there until I was thirty-five. At that point, OG took a job in the Twin Cities, and we moved there with our three-year-old. We lived in Minnesota for twenty-five years, and it feels more like home to us than anywhere else--I think because that's where we raised our family. We started vacationing in Carmel several years ago, and I fell in love with everything about the place. When Minnesota winters became too much for OG and I retired, we moved here full time. Our daughter went to Chicago for college and grad school and still lives there, but I think Minnesota will always be "home" for our family.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Alison, I didn't know about your Kansas City and Minnesota homes. Wow! What a change from those states and California. Like you, we moved for the weather. Funny, if I had to pick, I'd pick Minnesota for my home, too...lived in Faribault one year and went to college at St. Olaf. Parents from ND. No going back, though. I like the sun!

Angela Adams said...

I've always lived on the East coast...in two states at different times, but always on the East coast. I don't envy you all that moving (I hate packing and unpacking--LOL). Have a great weekend, Rolynn!

Jannine Gallant said...

I grew up in a tiny Northern California town and lived there until I left for college. My mom still lives in the same house. A year out of college, I moved to Tahoe and have been here ever since. So, I guess I'm the settled sort.

Rolynn Anderson said...

Angela, every time I visit the East Coast, I see its allure-beauty and history. Yup, packing is never easy, especially when my husband and I spend three months at a time traveling...and like to travel light. Fries my brain!

Rolynn Anderson said...

Jannine, Tahoe is magical...you've picked well. Having moved so much I haven't accumulated as much as some. Art and/or furniture 'in the family'-nope. Traveling often and light has some virtues. But staying in one place sounds like a nice option.

Alicia Dean said...

I wasn't an army brat, and I had a few 'childhood' homes, but we didn't stay in one place my entire childhood. I have moved a LOT as an adult. Not a fan. :) The book looks like a wonderful read!