When you stop and think about it, writing is like recombinant DNA: Throw a bunch of mouse DNA into a blender, add a dash of bat DNA, a pinch of cat DNA, and push blend. What comes out could be a better mouse of a cat that can fly.
Writing takes twenty-six letters, if you use the Western alphabet, and a handful of silly marks to let a writer craft something on paper that has a semblance of brilliance. Twenty-six letters. Scatter them across a page. Shake them in a bag with flour. Put them on keys in a nearly incomprehensible order. What gives with the QWERTY keyboard anyway? Or, sharpen a cupful of pencils and lay out a stack of legal pads. It doesn't take much more than that to get started.
Oh, wait, you say. What about those silly marks? What about the rules that "govern" them? Well, that is a dilemma. We seem to have more exceptions to the rules than rules themselves. Periods and question marks are fairly easy. They mark the end of a complete sentence or a sentence fragment ("hair ball," cry grammarians), or they mark a question. Either way, they are found at the end of a sentence. Do you use a question mark when you ask a rhetorical question. A colon can function as a kind of period: As a writer, I like colons. I try to use no more than one per chapter: Sometimes I use more.
Semi-colons defy logic. I mean, who said they can't be used in dialogue? So, if I want to create a series of similar items, do I use a comma or semi-colon? If I have a sentence, which contains multiple clauses, do I use the semi-colon? Like in Johnny and Mack walked to the store to buy candy; Lydia met them there, because she wanted them to treat her; and Suzie ran into them with her car. Okay, that makes absolutely no sense, but you get my gist. What if this was in dialogue? I couldn't use the semi-colon, or could I? I could break this into three sentences, or I could remember that the Delete key is my friend.
It's the lowly comma that gives writers more angina than anything else. To comma or not to comma, that is the question. Whether it is nobler to use them correctly or be creative...
I mentor a first-time writer. We've had interesting discussions about that lowly comma. He doesn't favor commas here: "Look, Michael, we have to fix this." Nope, If he had his way, there's be no commas in that sentence. Serial commas, as in a, b, and c are alien beings. So are commas before constructions like, "I'm going, too." I think he'd take the comma off his keyboard, if he could.
Just when we were making a ton of progress, along comes a Pulitzer Prize winner that doesn't use quotation marks to set off dialogue. I think you can count the number of quotation marks on both hands. A block of text can have a dozen changes in speaker, some demarked by dialogue tags, like he said. Or not. Some changes in dialogue are set off by action following what I thought was a quote. Once I figured out how to read the book, I couldn't put it down. Of course my mentee had to pick it up one day. He said, "Hey, he doesn't use quote marks. Why do I have to?" My response: because you haven't won a Pulitzer. When you do, you can dismiss grammar.
I'm thinking about running a test: scatter all the letters of the alphabet onto a piece of paper, had a handful of commas, a period or two, rinse, stir and dry. I wonder what I would end up with. What do you think? Is this worth an experiment, or should I spend an hour looking at kitten videos on Facebook?
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9 comments:
I use commas (and other punctuation) the way I was taught back in fourth grade. Which, I might add, is the way I would intuitively use them. All was right in my world through my first publisher and my self-pubbed books. No one complained. My commas were left alone. Then came my ex-agent and her comma rules. She made me take a ton of commas out. (I cringed but sucked it up and did it.) My books got picked up by a new publisher, and my editor added every one of them back in! The pub's style guides are exactly what I did before my agent made me ditch all my dang commas! I think all publishers have different rules, but I'm so thankful mine uses them the way I naturally punctuate. For those who are submitting to someone new, my only suggestion would be to be consistent. And for the record, I hate colons and semicolons, in or out of dialogue. I find a way to simplify the sentence. Just saying... Great post, Betsy!
My Monday morning chuckle. Thanks, Betsy. You'd think an English major would know grammar rules. Right? My two freelance editors (I love them both dearly) teach me something new with each manuscript. One editor is a comma fanatic. The other, a bit looser. I only use periods, question marks, quotation marks, and commas in my stories plus a rare (one in a book or less) exclamation mark. I was told way-back-when that using exclamation marks was the sign of a newbie. As long as they convey what I want them to, those silly little marks are handy tools.
Hilarious post, in a straight and narrow, scary sort of way. Did I use those commas correctly, or not? Another English major who struggles with The Rules! Thanks for the lesson, and the smiles.
Comma whore waving her hand here! Yes, my name is Vonnie Davis and I am a commaholic. As I read a passage out loud, if I have to stop to take a breath, by golly, I'm slapping a comma in there. Alas, I'm getting better. I operate on the principle rules are meant to be broken from time to time to grab the reader's attention. However, to do that, one first needs to know the rules. Great post.
Great post, Betsy. Early in my writing career, a publisher who rejected my book said "Authors do not use semi-colons." I was astounded. I was a high school English teacher for 23 years. Come on! I love semi-colons (sorry Jannine). Lately, the colon is a favorite. I'm remembering to use the serial comma. Thank God, indie publishing allows us to use or bend rules. I am not a rule-mongerer, you need to understand...I LOVE e.e.cummings and his middle-finger to convention poetry. Ferlingetti and Kurt Vonnegut are rock stars. In fact, I learned that about 20% of my students came with brains like these rock stars (probably like your Pulizer Prize person). It's called Style B writing (linear is Style A). I honored this writing in my classroom...by absorbing/teaching the elements...and I learned how to use it myself. Hell, I'm a hybrid, using both A and B styles as a result. Bestsy, your mentee will go wild when he learns about Style B...up to you to decide-I'll tell you the author if you want me too. Thanks for the memories...I think I'll go use a labyrinthine sentence and make up a word, just to celebrate! :-)
Betsy, we'll have to have a private conversation sometime about the use of colons (I'm a strict grammarian, I'm afraid), but for now, why not give your 'student' the old sentence, 'Let's eat Grandma.'
Loved the post and loved the comments. I've finally gotten to know what I can get by with and what I can't with my current editor. I really do love her, but had a go round about commas in the beginning. If I feel really strongly that I don't need one, she might cave. Otherwise, I've adapted to what she wants...which are more than I'd use if left to my own. What the heck? Doesn't change my story!
Great post, Betsy! I am also a fairly strict grammarian (or grammar snob, as some call me). One time my younger son and I actually argued over the Oxford comma! I'm not a fan of colons or semicolons in fiction, although I find them perfectly acceptable (and valuable!) in nonfiction. So much comes down to style preferences (AP, Chicago style, etc.). I work at a newspaper, and readers frequently write and call with a "gotcha" comment about some grammar rule, and most of the time it's a matter of style--ours vs. theirs--which of course, they dispute). One time a reader went apoplectic when I used the words "reads" as synonymous with "reading material" or book -- e.g., new Halloween reads for the bookshelf. "Reads is a verb! It's not a noun! What's wrong with you people!? How stupid are you?!!!!" For commas, I think as long as you're consistent (and within the general realm of "normal"!), it's okay...unless you're writing a legal pleading or brief!! :-)
Ha, enjoyed the post! Commas can certainly be tricky.
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