Sunday, May 8, 2016

FIVE THINGS I KNOW ABOUT BEING A MOTHER by Andrea Downing



Cristal and I cooking together
It’s Mother’s Day and time to take stock of why I’m being treated to dinner with the rest of my colleagues.  I’ve given this much consideration; after all, I’ve had thirty-two years (my daughter’s age, not mine) to mull this over.  Of course, one would think that thirty-two years of experience would teach you a lesson. Not quite so…or at least, if we don’t generalize, not always true!  Here are five things I’ve learned about being a mother:
1) My daughter is the most beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, kind, considerate blah bla bla person in the world. You may think the same about your child, and know that the occasional snarky words, hissy fits, and tears are not his/her true self. This assessment cannot be denied or downgraded, and will be believed and taken with you to the grave.
2) My daughter knows far more than I could ever hope to know, even though I have a good thirty-five year head start on her:  my experience counts for nought.  Don’t think about asking stupid questions; you will only be talked down and have to find another, quiet, moment to ask the same question in a reasonable way.  Please take note, and mark it well:  You will never, ever, EVER be as smart as your children.
Cristal and her fiance, Daniel Saffon
3) Her boyfriend or his girlfriend is the second most wonderful person in the world, no matter what you think.  Luckily, my daughter Cristal is now engaged, and, yes, her fiancé is the second most wonderful person in the world—after all, he can put up with her.  OOooops, did I say that? Well, he must be Superman because he’s marrying Wonder Woman.  I do recall, however, a beau she dated for four years at university whom I absolutely could not stand. This was a major problem except that, happily, she was at university in the USA, and I lived in London at the time. When I received the call one afternoon that she had broken up with said boyfriend (for the very same reasons I disliked him), I practically pirouetted down the street in joy…
4) Every gift she/he gives you is in the best taste and exactly what you wanted. Do not even begin to think about this; don’t ask any questions, just wear or display whatever it is he/she’s given you and enjoy it, show it off, and be proud.  And that includes the item you wouldn’t be caught dead in.
5) Finally, when he/she presents you with your first grandchild and you foresee years ahead of babysitting, nose-wiping and diaper changing, listen carefully to the instructions she now gives you about holding that precious bundle.  After all, what the hell do you know about holding a baby?  Admittedly, I still have to look forward to this moment, yet I see it clear as day—the information, the instructions, the sigh of disapproval. 
Just as if I hadn’t raised the mother myself.

To read a bit more about the troubles children have with their parents, head to Bad Boy, Big Heart in the Come Love a Cowboy anthology, available at:  myBook.to/Come-Love-A-Cowboy 
AND  https://www.amazon.com/Come-Love-Cowboy-Kathleen-Ball-ebook/dp/B01D5876UK/

When New Yorker K.C. Daniels heads to Wyoming for a summer job, she wants nothing more than to fit in with the staff of the Lazy S Ranch. Yearning to be independent of her mom and dad, and have a taste of the west before she starts her Master's degree, getting involved with a cowboy is the last thing on her mind—especially when she’s greeted with warnings about ‘Bad Boy’ Chay Ridgway.

High school dropout Chay Ridgway sees summer as his time to be a rodeo star and win a girl in his life, while facing the responsibilities he has for his father. Although working to bring in cash to help his dad, he's never had a problem finding a woman who's happy to be that summer love—until K.C. Daniels appears on the scene.

As two different worlds collide in a season that will end all too soon, is this going to be another summer romance or a love that will last for years?


And find me at:
Website & Blog:  http://andreadowning.com
Twitter:  @andidowning  https://twitter.com/AndiDowning





17 comments:

RE Mullins said...

Mother's Day is a great time to stop and reflect on the wonder ride my kids have given me. All I have to do is look at them to know I've accomplished something incredible. They've made my life worthwhile.

Jannine Gallant said...

This cracked me up! My daughters have #2 down to a science. Happy Mothers Day everyone!

Leah St. James said...

Made me laugh, too! I have the same number of years of experience as you, Andrea, and I sometimes still feel like a beginner! My sons also have #2 perfected. :-) Happy Mothers Day to all!

Brenda Whiteside said...

So funny and good you can use your experience in your books. I had to really laugh at the last one. The instructions I got from my son regarding my granddaughter some times made my jaw drop. Loved the one about never give her candy. I'm the mother whose son thought granola bars were candy until he was about 3 when someone gave him the real thing.

andreadowning.com said...

RE, you're absolutely right--the wonder is that I've brought up someone who is as accomplished and thoughtful as my daughter.
Jannine and Leah, I'm glad to know I'm not alone in the never-as-smart-as-my-kids area.
Ah, Brenda, the candy question--and sweetened juice. We had a 'Peter Rabbit' tin of candies and chocolates, and Cristal was allowed one every evening, that's how strict I was. She has me to thank for never having had a cavity!
I should have added a 6th point--you know you'll embarrass your children in all sorts of ways, especially if you're a writer telling the world about them! Happy Mother's Day!

Rolynn Anderson said...

Well-done...and a humbling Mother's Day to all you Mom's. A part of a mother's job is to send her kids off into the world with confidence and brilliance...so it looks like you have all succeeded. Now have a big glass of wine!

Alison Henderson said...

I am also mother to the most beautiful, brilliant, and gifted daughter in the world. Aren't we lucky! In all seriousness, I know motherhood isn't for every woman, but it has been the greatest responsibility and the greatest joy in my life.

andreadowning.com said...

thanks Rolynn--I'm just headed out the door on a celebratory lunch/mani/pedi and no doubt wine will be involved. You, I'm imagining, will be getting in a round of golf! Enjoy yourself.

Margo Hoornstra said...

Now what in the world would ever give our kids the idea we knew how to take care of children? Have to say been there done that with all your points. Motherhood is as humbling as it is rewarding.

andreadowning.com said...

Alison and Margo, glad to know I have more compatriots. I am currently planning the wedding--or at least, agreeing to the plans...

Caroline Clemmons said...

Clever blog, Andi. I enjoyed reading it--and agreed with most of it. LOL

Patti Sherry-Crews said...

Happy Mother's Day! I love seeing the pictures of you and your daughter. Makes me smile. Safe travels.

andreadowning.com said...

Caroline, your comment leaves me wondering what DIDNT you agree with ! Kidding--all children are different; we take some hits on the chin as parents, but at least we can usually see them coming.
Patti, glad to give you a smile--that photo was during a hot day in the kitchen. I think, quite honestly, I look like the wrath of God. But then, lack of make up will do that to ya.

Diane Burton said...

Perfect, Andrea. I listened well to my daughter about her "rules" for the grandkiddies. Apparently, that makes me stricter than the other grandparents. Oh, well... I shared a FB meme about motherhood being the most important job, but grandmotherhood is the most fun. Oh, yes! Happy Mother's Day!

Keta Diablo said...

Great post, Andi!

I think we've all been there, done that with our daughters. In their teens they know everything about the world (yeah, right), in their twenties, they're busy telling us about their rules for grand kids and raising their own daughters. Then...somewhere along the line, our children gain clarity and decide we weren't so dumb after all.

Happy reading and writing, all!
~ Keta ~
http://ketaskeep.blogspot.com

Hebby Roman said...

Loved your post, Andi, and I think you've got daughtering down to a perfect science. Couldn't stop laughing, it was so cute. I wish I had your experience but raising boys is sometimes the same, but also different.
Hugs,
Hebby

Alicia Dean said...

Ha, excellent post! Well-said and it definitely resonated. :) I also have the same number of years' experience. My eldest is 32. She is a beautiful and smart and wonderful person, and fortunately, she just recently ridded herself of a loser, big-time loser, horrible boyfriend (fingers crossed the break up lasts). I'm not sure why she doesn't understand she deserves SO much better. (I am not being a picky mother here, this guy is THE WORST, believe me, everyone feels that way except my daughter). :/ Thanks for sharing such a lovely post...so sorry to be late visiting!