Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success. ~ Henry Ford
Several years ago, I worked with a young woman who was going through (and ending) a difficult marriage. When my anniversary came around, she asked how we stayed together so long—now 42 years. I wished I could have told her Henry Ford’s quote. How very true it is about a marriage. Also true for any partnership.
I did tell her that marriage is not a 50-50 deal. Sometimes one gives more than 50% and sometimes the other person does. But it should never be the same person always giving.
Hubs and I came together on a blind date. And we clicked. You know how a romance starts. Stars in the eyes. We see no wrongs. Our loved one is perfect. After the wedding, reality sets in. He leaves his underwear on the floor and the toilet seat up. She nags. Kids come along and she’s overwhelmed with diapers and mountains of laundry. He comes home from the factory or office, worn out by heat, traffic, and bosses who require the impossible. All he wants is peace and quiet. She wants adult conversation. Even though that’s a scenario probably not relevant to today’s couple, there have to be some similarities.
I followed my husband’s job to five different cities. Just when I got settled in one spot, we moved again. Five times in a long marriage is nothing compared to what the families of our service men and women endure. Each move required me staying behind to deal with the details of putting a house up for sale, arranging for movers, transferring the kids’ school records, etc. That’s when I felt like I was giving a whole lot more than 50%. Often I didn’t think how lonely it had to be for Hubs living in a motel room while his family was hundreds of miles away. Driving (or flying) home every weekend with its incumbent stress while trying to provide financially for his family must have felt like he was giving the most.
It’s a good thing we don’t keep score. LOL
What we have figured out is that we each have our strengths. By building on those strengths, our marriage goes on. Has it always been wonderful? Of course not. But even during times of stress, we’ve talked out our problems and worked together. That’s success.
This week I'm participating in the Love at First Sight Valentine's Day Hop. Great prizes. Check it out. http://dianeburton.blogspot.com/