The Night a Bug Flew in My Ear

I hate bugs. Flying ones, crawling ones. I don’t care. I absolutely hate them. The main reason I don’t like camping is because bugs might crawl on me. Eww.

So the Saturday night when I was on the verge of sleep and a bug flew around my head (I shiver just writing this) I whacked at it. But then I didn’t hear anything. I flipped on my nightstand light and jumped out of bed in the same motion. Hubs mumbled “what?” I told him about the bug and he asked if I used nuclear warfare to get it. Say what? (He claims he never said that.)

I flipped the covers back. No bug. I turned the pillow over. Again no bug. I looked behind the bed on the floor. Nothing but dust bunnies that could wait. My right ear felt funny. I whacked my head, hoping to dislodge it—whatever it was. Nothing. Finally I lay back down, my right ear to the pillow hoping whatever had flown in would crawl out. I worried all night. Okay, not quite all night because I must have fallen asleep. In the morning, I really checked the bed, under the pillows, etc. No bug. I concluded it must be in my ear.

I worried even more. I just knew some bug was chewing its way through my ear and into my brain. (If you've seen Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan you know exactly what I was thinking.) So did I go to the ER? Of course not. I’d feel really foolish if it was nothing. Isn't that typical? We worry we might seem foolish instead of having a medical concern checked out. But I still worried. I had a doctor appointment at 5 on Monday. I could wait. Worry, worry, worry.

BTW, the reason I had a doctor appointment was because his nurse had called on Thursday to say he wanted to talk to me about the results of my mammogram. At first that sounded a bit unusual. Normally they just send me for an ultrasound. Still, the bug in my ear had me more worried.

Monday afternoon in the examining room, I told the nurse I wanted to talk to the doc about the bug in my ear. I told my husband I was going to have him check my ear first because I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on whatever he was going to tell me about the mammogram. So what does the doctor do? He walks in, doesn’t even look at me, sets down his computer, and says “about your mammogram…”

Darn it anyway. I listened as he explained something unusual showed up in my breast. I've heard that before. Since my 30s, doctors have found something unusual but after more tests, it turns out to be nothing. This time my doctor recommended a biopsy. That was different. As he went on about how it might not be anything but they had to check it out, I did listen. Both my sisters are breast cancer survivors. I knew the drill. When he finally wound down, I asked if we were done talking about this. He seemed surprised and said “if you are.” I told him about the bug and insisted he check my ear and pointed. He walked around to stand between me and my husband. I said it’s the other ear. He said “if you were a man, I’d say I can see the bug from here.”

Now I’ve known him for quite a while so I just rolled my eyes. When he finally checked the correct ear, I asked if he could see my husband. Both men just laughed. Diagnosis: no bug.

Results of the biopsy: no cancer. Whew.

I have to thank that bug, though. It kept me from worrying about breast cancer for two long days.

I blog here on the 8th and 30th of each month and Mondays on my own blogsite http://dianeburton.blogspot.com My first romantic suspense, One Red Shoe, was just released on Amazon.