The Art of the Blurb by Alison Henderson

By the time you read this, I will be deep in my edits, probably moaning and tearing my hair. However, at the moment I'm taking advantage of my last few days of freedom to work on the blurb for UNDERCOVER NANNY that will become my Amazon product description.

As you know, blurbs vary widely in length and level of detail. Some are mere teasers. Others spell out most of the main plot points. I've read quite a number of articles on how to write great product descriptions, but I'm not sure I got many useful pointers from any of them. Some were written by professional marketers, and others by authors discussing the elements and style that have worked for there. I'm not a marketing guru, but personal preference seems to play a major role.

So, what about you? When you're looking for a new book, what do you look for in a blurb? Do you want a brief description that gives you an idea of the tone of the book but only a broad overview of the characters and plot? Or do you feel more comfortable (and therefore more likely to part with your hard-earned cash) if you have a better idea of the story?

I don't think most readers like super-long blurbs, so I've written two potential options for UNDERCOVER NANNY: one with approximately 100 words, and one twice that length. I would love your opinion as to which would make you more likely to hit the "Buy" button.

#1

Kidnapping. Extortion. Antiquities smuggling. Add one light-fingered, bad-tempered monkey, and it’s all in a day’s work for novice bodyguard Casey Callahan.

She has been hired to protect the five-year-old niece of archaeology professor Alec Bainbridge from would-be kidnappers while posing as the child’s nanny—a task made all the more challenging by the escapades of Balthazar, a Capuchin with an attitude.

Amid break-ins, anonymous threats, and possible arson, Casey and Alec race to identify the villains before they harm the child or make off with a priceless Egyptian artifact. All the while, their growing mutual attraction becomes a complication too powerful to ignore.

#2

Kidnapping. Extortion. Antiquities smuggling. Add one light-fingered, bad-tempered monkey, and it’s all in a day’s work for novice bodyguard Casey Callahan.

Casey has been working part-time for an all-female bodyguard agency while finishing her graduate degree. In her first solo assignment, she has been hired to protect the five-year-old niece of a handsome archaeology professor from would-be kidnappers while posing as the child’s nanny. When she arrives at the house, she is startled to learn her duties will also include wrangling the little girl’s staunch companion, an impudent Capuchin named Balthazar.

Alec Bainbridge has been balancing excavation and teaching duties with single parenthood since the death of his sister. When a stranger attempts to take his niece from school, his fears push him to hire a bodyguard. However, the young woman who shows up is a far cry from the matronly type he was expecting.

Despite Alec and Casey's best efforts, the anonymous threats continue to escalate, sending them on a race to identify the villains before they harm the child or make off with a priceless Egyptian artifact. All the while, their growing mutual attraction becomes a complication too powerful to ignore.

Do you like either? Should I mix and match elements? I want to give readers enough, but not too much. It's a fine line, and any help you can give will be most appreciated.

Alison
www.alisonhenderson