The Good, The Bad and The Ugly; Another Perspective by Margo Hoornstra

Shamelessly stealing this idea from fellow Rose, Alicia Dean. This one's with a twist.

The Good: (I think) The opening of my latest completed work - STOLEN TRUST.

"Police! Stop right there! Put your hands where we can see them!"

Jenny Reynolds froze. A blinding white light flashed in her eyes. Blinking in the glare, she did exactly as she was told. Her purse dropped to the ground with a thud.

She raised her hands above her head, fingers splayed open. "What's going on?" Heart thundering, breathing rapid, her body snapped into survival mode. "What do you want with me?"

"We'll ask the questions. Is this your storage locker?"

"Yes. Well, not mine that I own." She struggled to grasp what was happening. "This is the storage locker I rented yesterday."

Maybe they aren't from the police after all.

If this was a robbery attempt, they could take whatever they wanted and leave her alone.

"There's nothing stored in here yet, but I have some money in my purse." Extending her right leg, she started to toe the bag over to whoever held the freaking bright light on her.

"Don't move!"

"Okay." Trying to stay immobile, her right arm dipped slightly to regain her balance. She retracted her leg. "Doing my best not to move here."


The Bad: Same opening before my CP, Jannine Gallant, got a hold of it.

Jenny Reynolds pulled the truck up to her recently rented storage locker and slammed the door as she stepped out on the pavement. Before bringing over her furniture and other belongings, it'd be a good idea to check out the space in person. Quickly. Early spring evenings like this turned dark in a hurry. Plus, a sky full of clouds blacked out any potential moonlight. Bent down to grab the long metal handle, the overhead door rolled open for her with surprising ease. Feeling along the wall for a light switch, she worked her way into the murky interior.

"Police! Stop right there! Put your hands where we can see them!"

A bright white light flashed in her eyes to nearly blind her. Blinking at the glare, she did exactly as she was told. Her purse dropped to the ground with a quiet thud. She raised her hands above her head, fingers splayed open.

Her body snapped into survival mode, heart thundering, breathing shallow and rapid, while she struggled to comprehend what was happening.

They said they were from the police. Which meant the aren't here to hurt me. Right? "What do you want with me?"

"We'll ask the questions. Is this your storage locker?"

"Yes. Well, not mine that I own it. This is the storage locker I rented. Yesterday, in fact." Maybe they aren't from the police after all. The whole thing is just a ploy to get me off guard.

She'd lived in Detroit for most of her life and was well aware crime could happen anywhere. Even so close to her own backyard.

"What do you want?" If this was a robbery attempt, they could take whatever she had and leave her alone. "There's nothing stored in here yet, but I have some money in my purse." Extending her right leg, she started to toe the bag over to whoever held the freaking bright light on her.

"Don't move!"

Trying to stay immobile, her right arm dipped slightly to regain her balance  as she retracted her leg. "Okay. Doing my best to not move here."

The Ugly: My first attempt at novel writing. A sweeping historical saga titled - BEYOND YEARNING. The first chapter has been blessedly lost. As I recall, the opening line was "Erin stared dejectedly out the window." What follows is the start of chapter two. Heroine Erin is a hapless ward of distant relatives Abigail and Jason.

"Get downstairs right now, Girlie!" she snapped. Erin almost laughed out loud at Abigail's appearance. Her ball gown of red velvet hung from her bony shoulders and feeble breasts. Her graying hair was pulled back severely from her face and caught in a red net which vied with her dress for brightness. Her beaked nose and dark eyes made her look like an owl perched on a headless body.

Abigail raised a hand to strike her, but Erin skittered out of the way and down the stairs. Jason stood at the foot of the stairs, a bright blue coat fighting to cover his enormous girth. White silk stockings covered bulging calves, meeting white breeches over which hung his huge belly. His balding head was covered by a sloppy wig. He licked saliva across his purple lips as Erin approached.

"Lovely, My Dear, lovely," he puffed. He watched the staircase as he spoke. His grubby hand reached out to grab Erin's slim waist just as Abigail came bobbing down the stairs.

"Come along!" she screeched.

That's all I'm going to subject you to today. Though there is more, about 300 pages more. If anyone's interested in reading the rest, email me privately. Yeah, I'm not going to hold my breath.

Though I do have to say, I still like that title.

My days to blog here are the 11th and 23rd. For more about me and my stories, please visit my website.