Taking Time to Rest and Recharge by Diane Burton

Recent posts here prompted me to write this one. Vonnie’s husband passed away. Alison’s had a major scare that required hospitalization. JL had hip replacement surgery. Each event resounded with the rest of us. We’ve either experienced those situations or something similar. Each event demands a break. A time to rest and recharge our bodies and creative energies.

We all need some downtime. We need to take care of ourselves. But . . . we’re women, the nurturers. We take care of others first. We ignore our own symptoms (physical or emotional) because someone else needs us. When my dad was dying, I worried more about my mother, his caregiver, than I did about him. I helped when I could, though my sister carried the brunt of the work. Mom’s health dramatically improved after he was gone. It might have gone the other way.

When Mom died, I was responsible for settling her estate. I was also working full-time along with trying to write. Without realizing it, I shoved down my grief to get everything done. Six months later, my mother-in-law passed. Although I didn't have the responsibilities of settling her estate, my stress at work was escalating. No time for grief. When a favorite aunt passed shortly after, grief caught up with me. Poor Hubs. He wanted to help, to make me better. Thank goodness for Hospice's grief counselor. First, she told Hubs he couldn't "make me better." That I needed time. Her best advice: give yourself permission to grieve.

Time away helps. The axiom “a change is as good as a rest” holds true. A change of venue or routine. After Dad passed, my sister took Mom on a mini-vacation. She came back refreshed, ready to tackle the details that needed tending.

When we push ourselves too hard, we run out of steam. When we don’t get enough sleep, our creative juices dry up. Stress, family issues, and other factors keep us up at night. We dwell on all we have to do, sleep eludes us. Without sleep, our bodies don’t work efficiently. Neither does our mind.

Take time to take care of yourself. Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to not do anything. Rest, relax, and come back refreshed.

Diane Burton combines her love of mystery, adventure, science fiction, and romance into writing romantic fiction. She blogs here on the 16th and 30th of each month. She shares snippets from her stories every weekend on her blog.

The Holiday Season by Diane Burton

It’s official. The holiday season is upon us. Every year, I promise to start my Christmas shopping earlier. Then I get involved in a project—like finishing the darn book—and my promise goes the way of the Dodo bird. I did dog-ear catalogs that came in the mail this year. Found perfect gifts for some family members. Have I ordered them yet? Of course not. <groan>

My mother-in-law shopped all year round. She wrapped the gift in a plastic grocery bag and taped the name of the recipient to the bag so she would remember who she bought it for. When she passed, we found many gifts under her bed or on the shelf in a closet. Some even had dates (several years past) written along with the names. Hubs and I doled out the gifts, saddened that MIL never got to see the enjoyment the recipients expressed.

The PTO at the grandkiddies’ school had two bookfairs this year. I went to both when Daughter was working so she could tell me which books the kids would like and which ones they had, along with suggestions for the little one out in AZ. So I am sort of ahead on the gift purchasing. Sort of being the operative phrase.

As we get older, Hubs and I are at a loss as to get the other. He used to be easy to buy for. Power tools and woodworking machines were always a good bet. But now he has more than he needs. Gift cards to a hardware store sufficed for a while. Now I tell him to buy what he wants. He’ll ask what I want. My usual response is “I don’t know.” Real helpful, huh? Sometimes I’ll see something I like, buy it, and tell him he can give it to me. LOL Hey, it works.

I have more fun watching the kiddies open gifts than opening my own. Their delight fills me with warmth. Tossing gifts of clothing over their shoulders accompanied by rolling eyes makes me think of my favorite movie, The Christmas Story” aka “You’ll shoot your eye out.”

Decorating the house is becoming more of a challenge. The decorations are kept in big tubs in the basement. Carrying those tubs upstairs is too much for Hubs now. So he’ll make several trips over many days carrying the decorations upstairs. Not good. Maybe this weekend we can “borrow” the kiddies to do the running. One thing is a must, no matter how limited the decorations. The ceramic nativity set my mother.

Cards and the Christmas letter. Ever since our first move away from family (1981) Hubs has written a letter chronicling our year. Then he gives it to me to “clean up.” His spelling is, shall we say “original” and he must have slept through grammar classes. Since content outweighs mistakes, I try to keep the flavor of his words. Some in our family tell us they really enjoy our news. Nowadays so many are on Facebook, they already know everything we’ve done. Well, almost everything. LOL Getting a family picture from family and friends is my favorite thing. I love the letters, too, but seeing the little kids I used to know growing into adults is always fascinating. We have a great family picture I’ll be including this year.

As the end of the year approaches, I start making lists of what I want to accomplish the next year. Career-wise, I’ve made the same goal for the past three years: publish two full-length novels plus a novella. For two years, I managed the novels. This year, only the novella. Don’t know why I slowed down. Life, I guess. Lack of focus, maybe? For 2017, I’ll repeat my goal. Maybe this time I’ll get it right. If I don’t, oh well. I have other things to stress over.

Stress. An ugly word. For me, stress came when I tried to do too much. I had to make cookies. I had to buy the perfect gift. I had to clean. I had to decorate. Everything had to be just so. Letting go of those “had to do’s” made me calm and helped me enjoy the season. Now I do what I can and forget the rest. Makes life easier. Why is it that wisdom comes as we grow older?

Each December, we Roses have a tradition. Strictly voluntary, no have-to’s. LOL Our gift to you, our readers, is a collection of serialized short stories. Each story begins with the same first sentence. This year it’s “This was the absolute last time she kissed anyone under the mistletoe.” I am so looking forward to read what each Rose has written. My story will run from December 26 to the 28^th. It picks up where last year’s story ended and was a lot of fun to write.

Come back tomorrow for Margo Hoornstra’s “A Sing-ular Tradition.” I can’t wait.

Relaxing, No Stress Vacations? NOT!

Jena with Jenevie 2008

by Jena Galifany

The family vacation is not something that I've taken many of. We took one when I was eleven or twelve years old. We drove four hours to Las Vegas and spent a day there. My sister and I spent all day in the pool. By that evening, I was so burned I couldn't wear anything except the bathing suit. OUCH! The next morning, I developed tonsillitis. Oh, joy.

We moved on, taking the next couple of days to roll through Reno and Carson City. Nothing spectacular to report there. We cruised through Lake Tahoe and ended up visiting friends in Sacramento. This was nice. They had a pool. My burn and tonsils had both mellowed. We went to a zoo. Now, I'm like totally terrified of snakes. I don't even like pictures of them. Guess where my dad made me go with my sister? You got it, the reptile house. Joy of joys. I was so thrilled to get home and prayed we'd never take another vacation. Fortunately, we camped instead.

Fast forward, I was now 50 years old and my youngest daughter is the only kid at home. She has never been to Disneyland. I decided it would make a nice Sweet Sixteen/First Family Vacation gift to her before she grew up and left home. I planned it all out in secret. We'd stay at the Disneyland Hotel for two nights and have access to Disneyland and California Adventure. This was going to be awesome.

I didn't want her to know where we were going, other than spending the night at her grandmother's home in Huntington Beach, a two and a half hour drive from home. That way we could see my in-laws and be within thirty minutes of Disneyland instead of driving the couple of hours to get there. I decided to tell her that we were going to Los Angeles to get her braces. The dentist had mentioned that she could use them to straighten one tooth that is a quarter of a turn around so I thought I'd use that idea to cover our true destination.

Jena, Steve, & Jenevie @Disneyland 2008

Mr. Mechanic Husband (no sarcasm here. He's the best mechanic in the valley) checked the car over the day before, and made sure everything was ready for the trip. Tune up, doughnut size spare tire, clean windows and all. The next day, we were ready to roll at 1pm. Moping all the way, Jen climbed into the back of the car and we were on our way. Being a nervous passenger, I drove. We made it ten miles and blew a tire. I pulled over on the side of the freeway and Steve jumped out to take care of the problem. He had the tire changed in no time but when he let the car down, the spare went flat. (really?)

An officer pulled up and called roadside assistance for us. We waited fifteen minutes for the man to come air up the spare. Husband apologized profusely for the flat spare. I knew he had checked it. I'd seen him do it. No problem. We could stop in the next town, about nineteen miles down the road.

A forty-five minute wait gave us two new tires and a one hundred twenty dollar expense I hadn't planned on. I decided to let Steve drive. I'd had my fun already. (not!) So back on the road. Twenty miles later, the car died. It just died. Now, this isn't usually a problem. It does it all the time. I simply have to drop it into neutral, hit the key, it fires up, pull it back into gear, and on we go. It's been doing this for years. It's such an intermittent problem, no one can find out what it is. It's why we got the car cheap. Only, this time, it decided not to start again. Luckily we were traveling down hill and were able to coast the last couple of miles to the off-ramp and into a Denney's parking lot. So far, it took us an hour and a half to travel forty miles.

We sat in the parking lot until the car cooled down. Steve looked it over and couldn't find any problem. After careful consideration, we decided not to go on into the heavy traffic on the 5 freeway. We decided to roll down the windows, turn off the air conditioner, and take the car back home. We'd rent a car and start over. After twenty minutes, Steve tried the key and she started up. Praying, we had no problems all the way back home.

We headed to the first car rental place we found. They wanted a credit card. I didn't have one. I'd paid them all off. They wanted a utility bill to prove where I lived. I get all my bills via email (going green has its drawbacks, I've found). They wanted a $300.00 money order. Hmm. Off to the house to dive into the shred bag for an old utility bill. Found one! Off to the bank for the money order. Back to the rental office. They decided since the utility bill was from three months previous, it wasn't good enough. I offered to pull up my account on their computer to show them, but they didn't want me to touch their computer. (sheesh)

Before I totally lost my cool, my husband pulled me gently out of their office and we headed for another rental company.

It was after 5:30pm by now, with all of the running around. I was afraid everything would be closed and we'd not get a car that evening. Our reservations at Disneyland were for the next morning. I didn't want to be driving instead of checking in. Jen still didn't know. She was sitting in the waiting area when we got to the counter at Car Rental Office #2. I made sure she was not in ear shot and prepared for battle. I had to have a car.

"We have reservations for Disneyland and need a car. I don't have a credit card and I don't have a current utility bill. What can we do about this?" I was firm. I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I needed to give Jen a nice vacation and so far it wasn't working out so well.

The tall gentleman behind the counter smiled at me and said, "No problem." It took the wind right out of my sails. He continued, "Let's see what we can do. And if I can't get you a car, I'll drive you down when I get off work at 6." WOW! I like this guy! He tried to run every VISA debit card  I had but none were accepted because they were not "credit" cards. I was losing hope. He was positive. "Do you know anyone that would lend you a card since it's only to get it, not to pay for it? You can pay with the debit but I need a credit card to let you have a car."

"My mother, but she's twenty miles away."

He handed me the phone. "What's the number?"

"She couldn't get here before you close."

"What's the number?"

We got my mother on the phone. I explained the problem to her. She agreed that she wouldn't be able to get there before closing. It was already 5:45. I relayed the information to Mr. Gentleman. He held out his hand for the phone. He spoke to my mother for a moment, pleasantries and such. He shocked me by asking for my mother's permission to use her card. He assured her no charges would go on it. I don't know what Mom said but he started writing. He filled out the information, told my mother what a wonderful person she was, and gave me back to phone. My mother said, "Sign my name," and she hung up.

I stared at the man as he turned the papers to me and handed me a pen. He smiled. I smiled, signed and gave him back his pen. "We didn't do this," he said. "Now, let's get you on the road." He lead us out to a nice economical, clean, wonderful car. Again, WOW! We shook his hand and thanked him over and over. (Sidenote: I've rented all needed cars from this man for the past five years, with my own credit card I might add.)  We dashed back to the house to drop off my car, switch the luggage and were back on the road by 6:30pm. We arrived at my in-law's home a little after 9pm. It took us eight hours to make a two and a half hour trip. Gratefully, my mother-in-law had prepared a nice meal for us.

Jena with Jenevie California Adventure 2008

Jen was still grousing the next day when we got into the car to go to the "dentist". She was sulking in the back seat right up until we stopped in front of the Disneyland Hotel. Her eyes popped and she got a Minnie Mouse voice for a few moments, squealing her excitement. We spent the first day exploring Disneyland. She and her dad rode the rides and I found near-by shade to sit and read. I have MS and can't ride the rides but they love rides and I love reading, so it all works out. Steve developed a migraine halfway through the day but he rode all of the rides with her anyway... except Small World. He didn't think he could handle that one with a migraine.

Day two, we explored California Adventure. Day three, we shopped Downtown Disney and then drove to Huntington Beach for dinner and swimming with my in-laws. After the terrible beginning, our first family
vacation turned out to be a batch of wonderful memories. We went again the next year, but Jen keeps asking when she's getting those "braces" again.

Sidenote: Steve hates to go to the dentist so Jen suggested that I tell him he's going to Disneyland!

I hope all of your vacation adventures are filled with wonderful memories, relaxation and no stress.

For your reading pleasure, please hop on the bus and travel with ShadowsForge, the 80s British rock band as they travel the U.S. and the U.K. finding love and adventure in the series by Jena Galifany available at Whiskey Creek Press.  Three Times a Hero, Trials on Tour, and Retaking America are currently available for $2.99 each.

Cheers!
Jena