Fearful Women by Rolynn Anderson

Recently I read an article, “It’s Not Cute to be Scared,” in the February 21, 2016 Sunday edition of the New York Times.  Writer Caroline Paul, a firefighter, had a beef: Girls are primed to be afraid; boys are prodded to face their fears.  End result: girls turn into women who exhibit ‘deference and timid decision making,’ when they face challenging situations.  Paul cites studies where boys are encouraged to take risks, while girls are warned away from difficult physical tasks.

This explains how many women reacted to my 25 years as co-captain on two big boats my husband and I owned.  Men were jealous of the experience; women usually cringed.  They asked me: “Aren’t you scared?”  They never asked my husband the same question.

At no time in our quarter of a century cruising the Inside Passage (sometimes as far as from Washington’s north coast all the way to Alaska anbd back), were we ever reckless.  Did bad seas, wind, current, debris, whales, and boat malfunctions challenge us?  You bet.  Was I frightened at times when we encountered unforeseen challenges?  Of course.  But why would some women ask me if boating scared me when they never asked the same question of my husband?

Listen.  I grew up side by side with the feminist movement.  Gloria Steinem is older than I am, but I consider her an icon, a mover and shaker in the women’s movement.  My parents, however, weren’t privy to Steinem’s exhortation for parents to treat boys and girls the same way.  Luckily, I grew up in a period when parents left us alone to experience life; my upbringing was probably more 'free range' than I see child-raising today. 

In this helicopter parent age, are girls and boys challenged equally?  When you read  Gever Tulley's “50 Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Children Do,” are you translating inclusion of all genders in the equation?

This makes me want to ask: Were you, as a female, told by parents, teachers and friends, to be careful all the time?  Were your brothers/male friends cautioned in the same way?  Did you grow up scared?  Were you ever given the idea that being afraid was 'cute'?  I'd love to hear about your experience.

All this being said about 'nurturing fear into boys vs girls,' some children are actually born as high anxious beings.  This concept comes into play in FEAR LAND.  

Here’s the blurb and the buy sites. 

Tally Rosella, an acclaimed psychiatrist who helps children fraught with anxiety, avoids adults because their brains rant at her.  But the chance to start a second child study and connect her findings to PTSD, sets her squarely among devious colleagues at a big California university.

Army Major Cole Messer, Tally’s new neighbor, won’t admit that trauma from combat tours in Afghanistan, destroyed his marriage and hampered his ability to lead.  As a teacher of college ROTC and single parent, he’s focused on enrolling his highly anxious son in Tally’s study and getting back to active duty.

Someone is dead set against Tally’s presence at the university, and blowback from her battles with co-workers put Cole and his son in jeopardy.  Watch what happens when people struggling with shades of anxiety collide with corrupt, revengeful foes.

Amazon: http://amzn.com/0985814861
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/587797  

  

A Phenomenal Woman's Graduation

Yesterday my youngest graduated from high school. A milestone in her life. My baby has graduated! So much of life in front of her. So much of life in front of her. I hope so much for my daughter as I do for all my children. Graduation is the mark of a new beginning. It made me think of a poem by Maya Angelou, Phenomenal Woman.

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

I walk into a room

Just as cool as you please,

And to a man,

The fellows stand or

Fall down on their knees.

Then they swarm around me,

A hive of honey bees.

I say,

It's the fire in my eyes,

And the flash of my teeth,

The swing in my waist,

And the joy in my feet.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me.

They try so much

But they can't touch

My inner mystery.

When I try to show them

They say they still can't see.

I say,

It's in the arch of my back,

The sun of my smile,

The ride of my breasts,

The grace of my style.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

Now you understand

Just why my head's not bowed.

I don't shout or jump about

Or have to talk real loud.

When you see me passing

It ought to make you proud.

I say,

It's in the click of my heels,

The bend of my hair,

the palm of my hand,

The need of my care,

'Cause I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me. 

It's what I wish for my daughter to become the woman she desires to become...anything that's before her I want her to strive to do if its her wish. I want the sky to be the limit.

AMAZON, BARNES AND NOBLE

I wrote Whispers of a Legend because of my daughters. I wanted both of them to understand that the road before them winds but to live...really live...you will persevere and hold to your dreams.