Nadine Archer is the Queen of Snark. She’s a character
created by my CP Jannine Gallant. I borrowed Nadine to include in a couple of
the stories within my self-published anthology
A twenty-year high school reunion in Serendipity, Vermont
changes the
lives of former classmates and leads to unexpected futures.
Here are some of Nadine’s more distinctive appearances when
she runs rough shod over the sign in table at the Saturday night Dance of the reunion.
***
Three Strikes
Thursday
“Sign in! Sign in!” Molly McCarthy stood beside Nadine
Archer behind the registration table. Talk about opposites. Molly was as sweet
as cranky Nadine was sour. Their friend waved them over with a generous sample
of her trademark Polly Anna smile. “Barry!” Eyes wide, smile grown wider, she
hustled around the table the moment she laid eyes on him. “Last night was so
much fun. And now we get to have even more.” She enveloped him in a fervent hug
he gladly returned. “I’m so happy you’re back home. Have I told you that?”
“Not since last night.” He straightened with a smile as she
released him.
“And Amanda.” Molly went on without missing a beat. “It’s
always good to see you.”
“You too.” She smiled as Molly bestowed another eager
clinch. “Always.”
Two on Tuesday
“Blane! Over here. You need to sign in.” Caught up in the
perpetual exuberance of Molly Carter, class Polly Anna, Blane stepped up to the
registration table and smiled. “Write yourself a name tag.” Molly pointed to
the one she wore over her right breast. “Like this.”
“Thanks.” Smiling, she picked up the felt tipped Sharpie.
Molly had married Ned McCarthy from their class. Blane
didn’t remember much about him except how their senior year Ned was voted Most
Responsible. From out of nowhere, jealousy of the life Molly must have reared
inside her.
“When you’re done with the name tag, move on to join the
festivities.” A beaming Molly trilled, oblivious to a distasteful glance from
the woman beside her, Nadine Archer.
Her Snarkiness Extraordinaire. Blane remembered Nadine well.
Especially when she commanded Molly to bring it down a friggin’ notch with the
rah-rah. Nadine was always such a bitch. Exchanging sly looks, both Blane and
Molly looked elsewhere, choosing to ignore her.
“It’s so much fun having all of you back home here for the
weekend.” Molly streamed a bright yellow highlighter over Blane’s name on what
appeared to be a class roster.
Blane enhanced the smile Molly had brought out of her with a
small laugh. “This is turning out to be fun.”
***
I’d like to channel Nadine for a few moments to snark out my
own frustrations. But first the set up.
A native of Detroit, I now live in the relative peace and
quiet of rural America by choice. As some of you know, my husband and I are
avid walkers. Each day, we try to log at least two miles, five if we’re
particularly ambitious. Our usual route takes us through Main Street in ‘downtown’
where vehicular traffic is minimal at best, out to the peace and quiet of a
recreational area and lake a couple of miles from our house. There we join like
minded individuals as we stroll along a dirt path and into the seclusion of a
small forest where we might catch glimpses of deer grazing and birds singing, swans gliding.
Are you sensing a pattern? Out here in the country where we
live, serenity and stillness are the norm.
However…
When you read this, out here in rural Michigan, we will have
survived another onslaught of visitors for yet another weekend festival of some
kind the city fathers and mothers see fit to burden us with each year. In the
name of enriching local businesses, particularly a couple of bars, (the reality
is the local treasury usually ends up just the opposite), they allow the
intrusion of Ferris wheels, Tilt-a-Whirls and the like in our City Park. Heavy food
carts on our newly paved streets. Late night fireworks that always upset our
dogs and those of our neighbors. Disturbs our sleep and makes it rough the next morning.
Litter and grease spots remain in the streets when they
leave. Tire tracks mar the grass in City Park. More debris out at our treasured
recreational area.
I’m reminded of a bumper sticker I saw once when I was a
visitor myself out of state. It read: Welcome to Florida, Now Go Home!
My thoughts exactly. There’s a reason we don’t live in the
city, Folks. If you so love being out here, buy some property and join us
permanently. You’re welcome for that, and we’d be glad to have you. Just
remember, we’re here for the peace and quiet. You should be too.
I wonder if those in Serendipity feel the same as I do. Do
you?
My days to blog here are the 11th and 23rd. For more about me and the stories I write, please visit my WEBSITE







