Am I the only one who thinks keeping up with and
changing passwords is an unfathomable nightmare? Yes, I know, we need the security, but geez…at
what cost? Our sanity? Long ago when I was a young'ish, naive, bright-eyed first time
computer user, I chose a password that would be easy to remember. I vowed
to use that same password for everything, until the end of time (against the dire warnings of the
Password Guru/Gods/Kings, who insist you should use different passwords for
everything, change them more often than you do your underwear, and be sure to
include lower case letters, capital letters, numbers, symbols, morse code,
Egyptian hieroglyphics, and Klingon).
However, my fairy tale password fantasy was soon
shattered. Because, just like the Password Guru/Gods/Kings, many sites did not
like my simple, easy to remember password. They insisted I add all the
aforementioned ridiculousness. They weren't all that subtle about it either. I'm sure you've seen THIS before:
So, I did as they demanded. I created another ‘universal’ password
that included all of that. Only one, though, so I’d be sure to remember it. Guess what?
The omnipotent ruler of the computer hemisphere was STILL not happy. Periodically, one of the sites I visited would give me the dreaded message: “It’s Time to Update Your Password” –
WHAT??!!??!!! No, please!!! Spank me, stick a fork in my eye, waterboard me, make
me watch endless episodes of "Keeping up with the Kardashians"…ANYTHING besides making me change my password!
But, alas, I DID have to change it. And, of
course, I’ve had to change it many times since. You know how it goes, you try to use a wrong password on a site, so they make you update it. You
make note of it somewhere, but you can’t remember where, so the next time you
go into the site, you have to update it again. You provide a 'new' password and get the
message: Please try a password you haven’t
used before. You’re like, how??? There ARE no passwords I haven’t used
before…
But, yesterday, I experienced the worst possible
password fiasco. I pulled out a laptop I hadn’t used in a while. I typed in my
most recent Microsoft password to get past the Guard of the Windows and access my desktop. I received a message: “You are not connected to the internet. Please
use the last password you used on this computer.” WTF??? I can’t remember a
password from 5 minutes ago, let alone freaking months ago. I attempted again,
and again, and was shunned with every try. Then, I was like, “Oh, I just need
to connect to the internet.” I did (after I had searched for and located my wifi password, of course). I tried
my most recent Windows Password. Nope, sorry, “Incorrect Password.” How could
it be incorrect? I updated it YESTERDAY.
Pleeeeaaassseeee, I just want to access my desktop. Is that too much to ask?
I got onto my desktop PC and logged in to Windows, using the same recently-updated password, just to be sure. Yes, I confirmed, it was correct. I tried again on the laptop. Huh-uh, nope,
sorry, too bad, so sad. Okay, so maybe it didn’t like me effing around with so many passwords. I’ll
start all over. I updated my Microsoft PW again. Same message. Grrrr. I started
a ‘chat’ with a Microsoft customer service rep. She went through all the
questions/steps, and couldn’t help me. She referred me to their tech support, who would call me. I
turned the phone over to my daughter, since I had to get ready for work. (This
was ALL before I went in to the day job). My daughter finally noticed that I
was missing an ‘I’ when I set up my email address, so it was AlicaMDean instead
of AliciaMDean. (SMH…how did I do that???) Then, by some miracle, I remembered the password I
was ‘probably’ using during that time. I tried it and...voila! I was in!!!
Whew. What a freaking pain! What do people do who
only have ONE computer, the one they are trying to log into? WHY do we need
protection from even getting onto Windows? What can ne'er do wells and dastardly fiends do to us via Windows when they
don’t know all of our many, many, complicated and extensive passwords? I couldn’t
care less if someone accesses my desktop. Help yourself! I just want a world
where I’m not controlled, judged, and tormented by password demons. Is that too much to ask?
Soooo...I guess what I'm trying to say is, do any of you have a solution? An easy way to update/store/remember/survive Password Purgatory?
