Her Christmas Future by Alicia Dean

Part Three – Conclusion

Olivia’s stomach was tied in knots. She hadn’t seen Holden in a year, but there he was, standing in her mother’s kitchen. She allowed herself the luxury of just staring at him…the way his muscles challenged the fabric of his snug green Henley, the way his worn jeans hugged his thighs…

He lifted his head and caught her staring. His grin sent her heart thumping. He moved across the room and took her hands in his. “Olivia, it’s so good to see you. How’s Rome?”

Lonely, devoid of you…

She smiled. “It’s fantastic. You should come visit me.”

A shadow crossed his face, and he released her hands. “I would like that, but, under the circumstances, it’s probably not a good idea.”

“Circumstances?”

“I waited so I could tell you in person." His jaw tightened. "Marci and I are engaged.”

Somehow, a smile stretched her lips, one so brittle, she thought her cheeks might shatter. “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you.”

“Liar,” Clarissa whispered.

Olivia made a face at her.

The next scene unfolded, showing Olivia at her Rome office, although she almost didn’t recognize herself. She’d lost the extra twenty pounds she always carried, plus some. Her cheeks were gaunt, her hair drawn into a tight bun, emphasizing the thinness of her face.

Her assistant stood in front of her desk. “Can I leave early since it’s Christmas Eve? My daughter is in a pageant.”

Olivia didn’t look up. “I’m sure someone is videotaping it. We have work to do.”

Olivia gasped. “Did I really just say that?”

“You heard it yourself.”

Guilt tore at her. Had she really become this miserable tyrant?

“Well, at least tell me Holden is happy with Marci.” Although, truth be told, the thought of it clawed at her insides like a feral cat.

“Judge for yourself…”

The scene opened into the living room of a magnificent home with a gorgeous tree at one end.

Holden sat on the edge of a love seat next to Marci, his hand resting on her knee. Jealousy pinged Olivia’s chest. 

An older couple sat across from them on a sofa drinking eggnog. The woman peered at Marci. “So, when are you two going to give us grandchildren?”

Marci placed her hand over Holden's.  “We’re trying, Mother.”

Olivia gritted her teeth. Holden fathering children with someone else? How could she possibly stand that?  Olivia turned to Clarissa. “Okay, that’s enough. He’s happy. That’s all I needed to know. I don’t have to keep watching.”

“Oh, but you do.”

“Sadist,” Olivia muttered.

Now, the scene was a large bedroom…their bedroom. Olivia’s stomach tightened. She did not want to see this.

Holden had stripped down to black boxer briefs. Dark hair spattered his chest. His shoulders and back were tight with muscles. Her breath caught. He looked so damn good…

“So, that was embarrassing.” Marci strode into the room, arms crossed over her breasts. “How do you think it made me feel when my mother asked about grandchildren?”

Holden let out a weary sigh. “I don’t know, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.”

Marci flung her arms in the air and let them drop to her sides. “Oh, great, Mr. Sarcasm. Real helpful. It made me feel like crap, that’s how. What was I supposed to do, tell her my husband can barely stand to touch me, that he doesn’t even know if he wants to be married to me, let alone have children with me?”

Olivia’s shoulders slumped. He wasn’t happy after all?

A few heated words were exchanged, then Marci stalked from the room.

Holden walked to a safe in the wall and opened it.

“He does this every Christmas Eve,” Clarissa whispered.

Frowning, Olivia continued to watch.

He withdrew a small box and flipped up the lid. Nestled inside was the ring he’d had at her apartment that night. He touched a finger to the diamond and dropped his head back, eyes tightly closed.

Olivia brought a hand to her mouth. “Oh my God, he’s not happy. He still loves me.”

“Right.” Clarissa nodded. “You not only ruined your life, you ruined his.”

“Okay…you’ve convinced me. You’re right. It was a bonehead decision.” A shudder racked her body. God, she’d been such a fool… “How do we undo this?”

Clarissa’s mouth twisted. “Oh, I’m afraid we can’t.”

“You…what do you mean can’t? Isn’t that what this is all about? Showing me the future so I don’t make the biggest mistake of my life?”

“No, dear.” The pity in Clarissa’s blue eyes was almost as frightening as her solemn tone. “I’m sorry, but what’s done is done. I didn’t show you the future, I showed you the past.” She gestured toward the window. “Look.”

Olivia faced the window. The scene had disappeared. Behind her, a Christmas tree blinked. A Teddy Bear ornament hung in the center, its round belly painted with 2018. From the glass, her reflection stared back at her. Gaunt cheeks, deep grooves beneath her eyes, a body so thin, the collarbones protruded at the neck of the robe. “No!” The word was wrenched from her strangled throat. “Please…why did you even bother to show me if I couldn’t change anything?” Olivia wrapped her arms around her body to still the shaking. “Why?”

“I’m sorry.” Clarissa backed away, toward the window. In seconds, she faded through the glass, into the darkness, and disappeared.

Olivia stood for several moments, unmoving. Tears rolled down her cheeks. What had she done? What kind of life would she have now?

The same life you’ve had for the past three years since you refused Holden’s love…

Yes, she had success, but her dream job was a hollow victory. Success couldn’t keep her warm at night, curl up with her and watch sappy Christmas movies, give her children…

A sob seized her chest, but she swallowed it back. She wouldn’t cry. The time for crying was over. Now there was nothing to do except live with her decision.

On leaded feet, she headed down the hallway to her bedroom. Although she didn’t expect to sleep, she had no energy to do anything other than crawl into bed. The lights from outside made wavering shadows on the ceiling. They merged into shapes that looked like grinning mouths…taunting…mocking… A large, empty chasm opened in her heart.  Tomorrow was Christmas. And she’d be alone. Forever.

She wasn’t aware she’d fallen asleep, but some time later, she woke. A glance at her nightstand clock showed she’d slept for nearly two hours. She threw off the covers and climbed from bed. No way would she be able to fall back asleep.

She brushed her teeth and stumbled toward the kitchen for coffee. In the living room, she halted. Something was different… The tree. Light reflected off the gifts held by Santa on the ornament hanging in the center...2015.

Her stomach clenched, and her pulse raced. She whirled toward the sofa. A man sat on the edge of the sofa.

“Holden?”

He swiped a hand over his stubbled jaw. “Hey. Couldn’t sleep?”

She rushed to his side. “Oh my God, you’re here.”

He grinned, his beautiful sleepy eyes blinking slowly. “Yeah, you told me to crash here.” He cupped her cheek. “You okay?”

She gripped his hand and squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t believe it.” She glanced around, and relief swept through her. “We’re at my apartment in Chicago.”

He chuckled. “Uh, yes, where else would we be?”

“I—I don’t know. I had a dream. The most awful dream.”

“You’re shaking.” He pulled her into his arms and held her close to his warm body. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here. It was just a dream.”

She lifted her head and pressed her lips to his. He hesitated a moment, surprise in his eyes, then returned the kiss. “What was that for?”

“I’m sorry. About what I said. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

He smiled. “I don't want to lose you, it would kill me. I barely slept, thinking about it. And, I have an idea. I can check into getting my medical license in Italy.”

Her eyes rounded. "You would do that? Move to Italy to be with me?"

He pressed another kiss to her mouth. "I would go to the ends of the Earth to be with you."

"Oh, Holden." She blinked back tears. "Are you sure?"

“Absolutely positive." He brushed her hair back from her face. "I don’t want to stand in the way of your dream, your future.”

She let out a choked laugh. “You’re my future, Holden. You’re all I need.”

He wrapped his arms around her and settled back into the sofa, pulling her with him. “Damn, that must have been some dream.”

A long sigh escaped her. “You have no idea.”

She shifted closer to him. A muffled, tinkling sound rose. Something hard pressed against her hip. She reached behind her into the sofa cushion, and her fingers closed around a hard, metallic object. She retrieved it and held it in front of her face. A gasp left her throat as she stared at the shiny, silver bell. She squinted to read the inscription etched on the side—Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

“What’s that?” Holden reached for the bell.

Olivia handed it to him with a grin. “Proof that miracles happen everywhere, not just on 34^th Street.”

 ~ End ~

I hope you enjoyed "Her Christmas Future" and I hope you have a Merry Christmas! Please tune in tomorrow for a Christmas read by Barbara Edwards.

Her Christmas Future by Alicia Dean

Part Two

Holden stood in the hallway, arms laden with bags.

Olivia smiled widely. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Ohio.”

“Can I put this stuff down, then I’ll explain?”

“Oh, sure. Sorry.” She stepped back, lightheaded with happiness. She wouldn’t be alone after all. And there was no one she’d rather spend Christmas Eve with than Holden.

He dumped the bags in the center of her bar. He shed his snow-covered coat, dripping moisture onto the floor. She didn’t care. Not in the least.

“I was heading to the airport, and I couldn’t stand the thought of you here at Christmas, alone. I turned back, deciding we’d either both get a flight out, or neither of us would.” He crooked a grin.

Her joy was tempered with guilt. “You’re not going home for Christmas, because of me? It was my fault I stayed.”

“Oh, I’m not arguing with you there. Totally your fault.” He winked, then dug into one of the bags. “I couldn’t get your mom’s smoked turkey, so I bought turkey sandwiches from Carmichael’s. Of course, no one can make pumpkin bread like your mom, but my nurse, Jane, is an awesome cook, and I talked her out of one of her loaves.”

Her heart swelled more with each item he pulled from the bags. He’d been her champion since they were children, and he still was. How was she going to get along without him?

Impulsively, she rounded the bar and threw her arms around him. He laughed and caught her against him. She buried her face in his chest, the warmth of his skin penetrating her cheek through the soft fabric of his sweater.

“Hey,” His deep voice rumbled against her ear. “What’s the matter?”

 She pulled back and looked into his face. “I’m just so happy you’re here.”

He kissed her forehead. “Me too. Let’s eat.”

They sat at the bar and devoured thick, smoked turkey sandwiches that were only slightly less delicious than her mother’s.

When they finished dinner, he stood. “I have a surprise for you.” He took her hand and guided her into the living room. Her laptop sat on the coffee table. He flipped it open and booted it up.

She frowned in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“Just wait.” He clicked a few buttons and the Skype window appeared. A call came in…her parents, sitting at the dining room table. He swept a hand toward the screen. “Since you can’t go to them, I brought them to you.”

At the sight of their sweet faces, a knot in her throat prevented her from speaking for a few moments. “Hi, Mom, Dad. Miss you.”

“We miss you too, sweetheart.” Her mom held her hands to her heart. “Wish you were here.”

Her dad leaned forward and shouted into the screen, “Can you hear me?”

Olivia laughed. “Yes, Dad, you can just talk in your normal voice.”

He nodded. “Oh yeah, right. Holden sent Colton over with his laptop and a doohickey that gave us internet.”

Holden’s nephew bent in front of the screen and waved. He flipped his head to toss his long hair out of his face. “I brought my remote wireless.”

Gratitude toward Colton and Holden overwhelmed her. “Thank you so much for doing that.”

“No prob.”

Her mother said, “I hate that you had to work late and missed your flight. Maybe we can see you soon? When the weather clears up?”

Dread locked in her throat. She had to tell them about the promotion.

When she finished, they both said they were proud, but her mother cried and her dad awkwardly patted her back while something suspiciously like tears brimmed in his eyes.

Olivia chatted with them for an hour. Afterward, she smiled at Holden. “That was so incredibly thoughtful.”

He shrugged. “No big deal.”

“It’s a very big deal to me.”

“So, you up for watching M to the 3-4?”

She laughed at their silly nickname for Miracle on 34th Street. “You betcha. I’ll make hot chocolate and slice the pumpkin bread.”

They settled on the sofa to watch the movie. Icy snow pelted the windows, and the wind howled, but inside, it was cozy and warm.

When one of their favorite lines was about to be spoken—by Alfred, the janitor/replacement Santa—they looked at one another and said it with him, “Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism.”

Olivia grinned, but hollowness filled her chest. Would that be the last time they shared the corny tradition? By the time the movie ended, she was crying.

Holden put his arm around her. “Come on, the movie’s touching, but it’s not sad. You never cry.” 

“It’s not the movie.” She sniffed back tears. “I’m sad I’m leaving you.”

He stroked a thumb along her cheek. “Then don’t.”

“I have to. I can’t turn down this promotion.”

His eyes searched hers. The air thickened with a sizzle of emotion, a sensual tingle that hadn’t been present before. He ran his gaze down to her mouth, then back to her eyes. “There’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now.”

“Yes?” Her voice was a husky whisper.

“I’m crazy about you, Olivia, and not just as a friend. I’m in love with you.”

Her eyes widened. She froze in shock for a moment, then tugged away from him. “You…you’re in love with me?” She stood and planted her hands on her hips. “Since when?”

“I’ve been attracted to you for years, but do you remember that Christmas when you helped my grandmother with her baking?”

“Yes.” His grandmother had been ill and wasn’t able to stand on her feet like she had in previous years, but she was determined to bake for her family, so Olivia had helped. It was the last Christmas they had with her. She passed away the following spring.

“After Christmas, we were talking about you, and she said, ‘That one’s a keeper, Holden.’ She never liked any of the girls I dated. It occurred to me…you’re definitely a keeper, and I realized, I felt more than friendship for you.”

“That was three years ago. And you’re just now telling me?”

He came to his feet as well. “The timing was never right. You were with Brendan all these years. And then, there was Marci.”

Marci was his on again/off again girlfriend. As far as Olivia knew, right now, they were off. She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, the timing right now royally sucks.”

“Maybe. But what’s important is how you feel about me.” He waited, his expression questioning, hopeful.

She hesitated briefly. “I’ve loved you since the sixth grade when you made Jerry Vanderpool give me his lunch after he stomped my ham and cheese sandwich into the ground.”

He laughed. “Friggin’ bully.” The amusement faded, and he stepped closer and crooked a finger beneath her chin to raise her gaze to his. “So, you do love me.”

She closed her eyes. “Damn you, yes, I do.” Before she could say more, his mouth found hers. His lips were firm, warm. She kissed him back. Chills swept through her body, and her legs turned to rubber.

Summoning the little shred of will power she had left, she broke the kiss and stepped away. “As I said, your timing sucks. I’m leaving for Rome in a week.”

“Don’t go.” His voice was just this side of pleading. His eyes beseeched her. “Stay here. With me.”

“You’re asking me to give up my dream? Just when my career is taking off?”

He huffed out an exasperated breath and ran a hand over the back of his head. “I know it’s not fair.” He shook his head. “I just…I panicked when you said you were leaving. I knew I was running out of time, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

When his words sank in, her anger rose. “You…you panicked? You only told me tonight because I’m leaving?” She grunted. “How long were you going to keep this secret if I hadn’t taken that job in Rome?”

“I don’t know, I just—”

She brought up her hand in a halting gesture. “No, don’t tell me. Whatever the plan was, it’s too late. I’ve loved you for years, and now…” Tears threatened, but she choked them back. “…now that I finally accepted we can be nothing more than friends, and I have the chance of a lifetime, you drop a bombshell like this.”

“I think we should give us a chance. Please, at least think about it.”

She did. For half a second. As much as she loved Holden, she couldn’t pass up this chance. It might be her only opportunity at the career she’d always wanted.

What about your only opportunity for love?

She gave herself a mental shake. She’d seen too many damaged relationships to think hers with Holden was a guaranteed success.

She lifted her chin and met his gaze. His hopeful, hazel-eyed gaze…

She gritted her teeth and clenched her fists so hard her nails dug into her palms. “I’m sorry, Holden. I can’t give up this job. Not right now.”

He gave a quick, jerky nod. “I understand. I really do. I want what’s best for you. Want you to be happy. But you know what? I’m not giving up hope. Like they say in the movie, faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.” He touched her face again, then grabbed his coat. “I'd better go. Maybe I’ll see you next week before you leave?”

By now, the snow and sleet were coming down in a torrent. The roads had been hazardous when he arrived, now they were extremely treacherous.

“Maybe you should stay here tonight.”

He paused at the door and narrowed his eyes. “Stay here?”

She realized what her offer must have sounded like—a goodbye bang for the road. As much as she wanted Holden, she wasn’t asking him to make love to her. One night of sex would only taint their friendship. “It’s a blizzard out there. I doubt if many taxis are even running. You could sleep on the sofa.”

“Yeah, sure. You’re right. Thanks.”

Olivia scowled at Clarissa. “So, you’re showing this to prove I was wrong? Well, I wasn’t. I made the right choice.”

"You think so?”

“I know so. He impulsively tells me he loves me to keep me from going to Rome and I was supposed to drop everything and stay?”

“Keep watching…”

Olivia turned back to the window.

Her Chicago apartment was in darkness, except for the glow from the Christmas tree lights. Holden sat on the sofa atop the blankets. He held a small open box. A solitary diamond winked in the darkness. He drew in a long breath and shut the box, pressing it tightly to his forehead, his eyes screwed shut.

“Oh my God,” Olivia breathed. “It wasn’t an impulse. He was going to propose? Why didn’t he?”

Clarissa harrumphed. “Shall I replay your reaction to his declaration?”

Olivia’s cheeks heated. “No, that won’t be necessary.” Grief and regret weighted her heart. Still, who’s to say marrying Holden would have been the right choice? She was happy here in Rome, and he’d probably moved on, found someone new.

“Ready to see more?”

Olivia didn’t know if she was, but she nodded and faced the window.

    ~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~

Please tune in tomorrow for Part Three, the conclusion.

Her Christmas Future by Alicia Dean

 Part One

A ringing phone at two in the morning never brought good news. Olivia Sommers fumbled on the nightstand for her cell and squinted at the display. Hmmm... Blank screen. No incoming call. She frowned. The ringing continued. She didn’t have a land line…

Something glowed in the corner of the room. She sat up, heart racing, mouth as dry as chalk. An ethereal blonde woman stood—no, hovered—in her bedroom, surrounded by a glow of yellowish-white light, wearing a long pale blue robe, ringing a large silver bell.

What the…?

Olivia shook her head. A dream, it was just a crazy, insanely real dream.

“You thought it was your phone?” The creature let loose a tinkling laugh. “That’s silly. Your ring tone is “Blue Christmas.”"

Yeah, that’s what was crazy about this. 

Olivia scrubbed her hands over her face and shook her head. She closed her eyes tightly. When she opened them, the woman was still there.

“I’m not a dream, sweetie. The sooner you accept that I’m real, the sooner we can begin.”

Olivia managed to speak around the desert in her mouth. “B-begin what?”

“I’m here to show you what life would be—”

Olivia held up a hand. “Wait. This is one of those It’s a Wonderful Life moments? I didn’t try to kill myself, so you don’t need to show me what life would be like if I’d never been born.”

The angel rolled her eyes. “Jump to conclusions much? I never said I was going to show you what life would be like had you never been born. I was going to say, I’m going to show you what your life will be because of the bonehead decisions you’ve made.”

“Bonehead?” Okay, now she was awake. And annoyed. “What bonehead decisions?”

“Uh…the job. Moving to Rome. Holden.”

Holden… Her biggest regret. She’d loved him since she was a child. But his timing sucked.

“I wouldn’t exactly say my decision turned out badly. I mean, I’m in Rome. There are worse places to be at Christmas.”

The angel barked out an un-angel-like snort. “You’re in Rome at Christmas alone.”

A pang gripped Olivia’s chest. She did miss her family. And Holden. She sucked in a breath to stem the threat of tears. “I love my job.”

The angel waved a dismissive hand. “Whatever. Come on, get up. I have something to show you.”

Because Olivia wasn’t about to disobey an angel, she climbed out of bed, shivering in her silk nightgown.

“I’m Clarissa, by the way, so you can stop thinking of me as the angel.”

“How did you…?” Never mind. Of course she could read her thoughts.

“Yes, I can.” Her blue eyes twinkled, and her pink lips curled in a smile.

Clarissa floated through the door, and Olivia followed her into the living room, to the large window overlooking the lights of Rome, the buildings reflected in the canal water.

Clarissa indicated the window. “Now, watch closely.”

All Olivia saw was her reflection, auburn hair in disarray around her shoulders, face contorted in shock.

But as she continued to stare, an image wavered on the surface of the glass. Her office in Chicago.  Right after Mr. Helman offered her the promotion. At the time, she’d just ended a five-year relationship with Brendan. She had nothing holding her back.

After she eagerly accepted the promotion, her boss shook her hand. “I need you in Rome by the end of next week.”

A week? She was flying home to Ohio to see her family and planned to stay a few extra days.  ”Of course.” She’d manage somehow.

“Before you leave this evening, I’ll need you to prepare a manual for your replacement.”

She resisted the urge to check her watch. Her flight left at eight. She and Holden were going back together. His family lived in the same town as hers. They’d grown up together and both had ended up in Chicago. He would just have to go on without her. She’d get a flight out in the morning.

After Helman left, she picked up her phone to call Holden, but before she could dial, her office door opened. Holden stepped inside. Her breath caught in her throat like it did each time she saw him. His chestnut hair curled around the top of his shirt collar. His hazel eyes were framed by lashes that were too thick and dark for a man, but his masculinity allowed him to get by with it. He wasn’t classically handsome, but his crooked smile and the scar along his brow from a high school football collision gave his face character. He had a confidence and compassion that no doubt endeared him to his patients. But, what she loved most about him was that, even though they’d moved to Chicago, he was still loyal to their Cincinnati Reds and hadn’t defected to the Cubs.

“Are you packed? We need to head to the airport soon.”

She drew in a breath. “Yeah, about that…”

“What? Don’t tell me you’re not ready yet.” He pulled back the sleeve of his charcoal gray suit jacket and checked his watch. “I can run you by your place, but you’ll have to pack quickly. We can still make it.”

“No, it’s not that. I have to get some work done before I go home.”

A frown erased his pleasant expression. “Work?” He shook his head. “Olivia, you’re killing yourself for this company. You work way too much, and they don’t appreciate you.”

“Well, that’s not entirely true.” She could barely contain her excitement, and a broad smile emerged. “I was just offered a promotion. Mr. Helman asked me to train employees and oversee operations on the computer system I implemented here. He’s sending me to run the branch in…wait for it…Rome!”

His brows rose. For a moment, a look of disappointment came into his eyes, then it disappeared, and he smiled back. “That’s…great. Congratulations. So, you’re moving to Rome?”

She nodded. “In a week. That’s why I have to catch up on some work tonight. I’m sorry about our trip. You go on without me, and I’ll catch a flight in the morning.”

“The forecast is calling for heavy snow. You might not get a flight out in the morning.”

“I’m sure I will. It’s never as bad as they say.” Fingers crossed. She had to see her family for Christmas, especially since she was moving to Rome. Her mouth watered at the thought of her mother’s pumpkin bread and smoked turkey.

“Well, again, congratulations.” He came around her desk and took her hands. “I’m happy for you.” He placed a kiss on her cheek, his lips lingering a moment longer than unusual.

Flutters moved through her stomach. She drew in a shaky breath and stepped back. “Have a safe trip. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~ * ~

Damn…Holden had been right. All flights were grounded. Olivia slumped on her sofa and heaved a sigh, trying to hold back tears. She would be alone on Christmas…no boisterous family gathering, no home-cooked meal, no late evening dessert and coffee with Holden and his family…

She plunked her chin in her hands and stared at the tree through her tears. Each year since she’d been born, her mother had hand-made her a ceramic ornament dated that year. This year’s was a Santa, holding gifts that spelled out 2015.

Wistfulness overcame her. She hadn’t seen her family since July. And now, how long would it be? An ache started in her heart and spread through her stomach.

Ugh…she had to stop feeling sorry for herself. She’d call her family tomorrow, and tonight, she’d watch the Maureen O’Hara, 1947 version of Miracle on 34^th Street—an activity she and Holden usually did together—and she’d suck it up and be a big girl. Maybe she’d have a chance to fly to Ohio before she left for Rome. If she could quickly make her travel arrangements, sublease her apartment, hire international movers, and catch up on work at the office…

Right. Like that was going to happen.

The doorbell rang, and she peered through the peephole. Oh my God, it couldn't be... Her pulse jumped, and her spirits soared as she tugged the door open.  

    ~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~

Please tune in tomorrow for Part Two.