Of Sails and Choices by Margo Hoornstra

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. ~ Elizabeth Edwards

Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First we make our choices. Then our choices make us. ~ Anne Frank

Two great quotes, words to live by really, from two vastly different real life heroines.

We all change direction, depending upon what life chooses to throw our way. That’s what I was always taught, how my husband and I raised our kids.

Aside from the studies and grades, they knew it was also their job in school to get along with everyone, difficult people or not. Though we always provided the basic parental support, they were the ones who needed to solve any problems for themselves. Right or wrong, my philosophy is – if someone wants something bad enough, they’ll figure it out.

It’s how we all learn and grow. Even survive.

A magazine article I read recently brought home to me how very important having that adapt or else mindset can be. It seems a young girl grew up with her life all mapped out. She went to college, networked her way into the job of her dreams and happily, if not naively, settled in for the long haul. Then the unthinkable, better known as budget cuts happened, and valuable as she thought she was, this young woman soon found herself out of a job. To paraphrase the gist of what she said. Our generation was given trophies simply for showing up. I’d never faced true adversity before and was utterly stunned, with no clue how to proceed.

The article actually had a happy ending, in my mind at least, because she was forced to ‘figure it out’. Necessity made her reevaluate her skill set and re-engineer her life.

Finally.

I still drive my kids nuts-part of the mother’s job description to be sure-with the phrase ‘welcome to the real world’ as they discuss their current problems, along with possible solutions.

And believe me, I do take my own advice in this real world of ours.

In the spirit of sails readjustments, making choices and such, I took back the rights to three previously published novellas, did a bit of editing, then self-published them in a single volume. Many who have read me here and on my own blog, already know that.

Saturday In Serendipity is three stories about love rediscovered at a twenty year high school reunion.

Then I was faced with another choice. Let the book sit out there, all but unnoticed, or pound the virtual pavement to, hopefully, invite some interest.

So, beginning March 16th and continuing through April 11th, I’m traveling the internet thanks to Buy The Book Tours. Click here to see where I’ve been and where I will be along with everything about the tour in between. Hope you can join me at some point.

Oh, and, by the way, fellow Rose Jannine Gallant, did what I did with some previously published stories of hers, Road To Serendipity was the result of her efforts.

My days to blog here are the 11th and 23rd. For more about me and my stories, please visit my website.

Flexibility by Diane Burton

She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails. ~ Elizabeth Edwards

My niece posted the above quote on Facebook last spring, after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Though we live far apart, I’ve followed the journey she’s taken over the past year via emails and Facebook. Double mastectomy and reconstruction, chemo, radiation. All to conquer this disease that has hit so many women in my family—my aunt, her daughter, and both my sisters. The men haven’t had it easy either: my dad and two of his brothers with kidney cancer; the same brothers, bladder cancer; grandfather, lung cancer. Plus my cousin with breast cancer also had uterine and ovarian cancer.

The women are all survivors. With the exception of one uncle, the men have died.

Why is it that the survival rate of the women outpaced the men? Granted, the men were all older. Then there’s my aunt who is still living at 93. I wondered if it was early detection. If the women went for regular checkups and mammograms. If the men weren’t as attuned to their bodies and/or didn’t go to the doctor when they first noticed symptoms. Besides kinship, the men had one thing in common. They were all long-time smokers. My dad actually survived kidney cancer but succumbed to COPD. None of the women, my niece included, were smokers.

No matter the cause, I think women know how to be flexible. When life throws you a nasty curve, you either give in/give up or you adjust your sails. Change is hard for everyone. Learning to adjust to change makes one stronger. My dad never changed. He smoked right up to the end. The hospice nurse just said to turn off his oxygen before helping him light up. Geez, I can’t believe I’m telling you that I actually helped my dad light his cigarettes then made sure the ashes didn’t fall into the bedclothes. At that point, why deny him that little pleasure as he was dying?

Years earlier when my dad used to visit, I wouldn’t let him smoke in my house. Not only did cigarette smoke irritate my eyes and nose, my young son had asthma. No way would I expose him to second-hand smoke. So why did I change my attitude when my dad was dying? I could have said no way. Could have insisted that not smoking would prolong his life. That I wouldn’t help him kill himself quicker. I rationalized that if I helped him I prevented him from burning the house down—with my mother and me inside. Not to mention what fire would have done to him.

With all the cancer in my family, whenever something odd shows up on my mammograms, I try not to freak out. I’m not always successful. In the last couple of years, something odd has shown up. Not always the same, either. As I go through ultrasounds and/or biopsies, I worry that I won’t be strong enough if it is cancer. Then I think of my sisters, aunt, cousin, niece, and Elizabeth Edwards. Life dealt them a crappy hand, but they made the best of it. They adjusted their sails and moved on. Can I do anything less?

Do You Blow With the Wind? by Alison Henderson

“She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails.” ~ Elizabeth Edwards

I’ve always admired Elizabeth Edwards. She lived her life with strength and grace through almost unbearable pain and difficulty. When I read this quote from her book Resilience, I thought of all the times she had to adjust her sails to deal with the death of a child, betrayal by her spouse, and terminal cancer.

I’ve been lucky. I haven’t had to endure the ferocious storms life blew her way, but that doesn’t mean it’s all been smooth sailing. Each of us has times the wind doesn’t blow our way.

After reading this quote several times, it occurred to me there are two subtly distinct ways to interpret “adjusting our sails”. In the first, the wind is a bully, a powerful, unsympathetic force that overpowers our attempts to chart our own course. I’m sure Elizabeth felt that way many times in her life. To survive and stay strong she accommodated her outlook, her expectations, and her actions; she adjusted her sails. She didn’t allow the winds of life to flatten her by stubbornly trying to resist them.

In my own life, I look at the winds a bit differently. I see them more as a series of unanticipated changes of direction. Each change brings choices and those choices lead to unexpected opportunities. I expected to marry relatively young, have several children, and live happily ever after. I started down that path, but it wasn’t long before the winds of life blew me off course.

That first, young marriage crumbled, fortunately without children. I changed direction, met my husband, and had my wonderful daughter. A few years later, the winds hit again. Depression stole OG’s ability to work and nearly took his life. I was very lucky to be in just the right place at just the right time to be able to return to work seamlessly and take care of my family. When we wanted to return to Minnesota, the place our daughter considered home, I took a big chance but found the perfect job that lasted me the rest of my career. Retirement has brought changes and surprises, too, not all of them good (OG’s stroke comes to mind), but I’m very happy to be where I am right now.

I never expected to have a significant career of my own. I never expected to be a multi-published author. I never expected to life in such a beautiful place. Nevertheless, those things happened.

As I said, I’ve been very lucky. Fate has been much kinder to me than many. Each gust of wind has offered choices. That doesn’t happen to everyone. I’ve adjusted my sails each time and ended up in a place I could never have foreseen forty years ago.

What about you? Have you followed the wind where it blew you and adjusted your sails?

Alison

www.alisonhenderson.com

http://alisonhenderson.blogspot.com