On Being Brave by Betsy Ashton

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This past weekend I went to Roanoke Regional Writers Conference, one of my favorite conferences. I've been four times out of the six years it's been held. I've spoken on panels in the past. I will teach a course in the future. It's local. As a result, I know about 80% of the participants and nearly all of the panelists and instructors.

Every year this is a reunion of NYT best selling authors, small press authors, indie authors and yet-to-be-published writers. I probably talked to everyone of them before we left yesterday for our homes. I asked them what they feared most when it comes to writing.

After dozens private conversations and a couple of panels, I reduced our collective concerns to a scant few.

As a group, we feared loss of focus. That's a broad topic. For some, loss of focus fell within the end covers of their manuscripts. They can fix that with a good set of beta readers and distance. All agreed they needed to step back and the the manuscripts rest.

For others, loss of focus involved time management. We all concurred that, while we have to have that all-mighty presence on SOCIAL MEDIA, Facebook, Twitter and the rest are giant time sinks. The successful writers (not those making a living from writing, but those who balanced their time) carved out a certain amount of time each day for social media.

Two years ago a YA writer said she spent one hour three days a week responding to every Tweet that came in for her books. Because the audience was teens, she could get away with, "OMG! Thank you for reading my book. I'm so happy." Followed by a smiley face. She had a file on Word with about six responses. Copy. Paste. Done. And when her next book came out, her fan base was ready...

We all worry about what our obsession with writing and marketing might be doing to our families. The best balanced authors made the entire family part of the process. One's daughter wore t-shirts with her YA book cover on them. Another sat with his entire family at the beginning of the year. They blocked out family time on a huge calendar he hung in his office. He could use the rest of the days writing and marketing his books.

Almost to a person, we were afraid of rejection. Not the kind that come querying agents and/or publishers, but the kind that comes when you pick up the phone, cold call a librarian (for example) and pitch a writing workshop or book signing. We all were afraid they'd say no. Some did; others didn't. But those who didn't pick up the phone sat home waiting for it to ring. Or playing games on FB. Or tweeting and bleating about their lots in life.

Driving home, I vowed to be even braver this year than last. I will call more libraries. I will contact more book stores. I will contact service organization. I will contact active living retirement communities. I will be out there as often as I can.

I will not take too much time away from my loving husband, my life partner, and my partner in writing. He's the most important part of my life.

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Please check out my novel, Mad Max Unintended Consequences, available through Amazon and Barnes and Noble in paper or e-book formats.

Mothers and Daughters

by Diane Burton

I love family stories. For example, books and movies that follow several generations. I especially enjoy watching/reading the interaction between mothers and daughters. The Disney movie Brave is a great example. Anyone who’s ever had a young teen daughter knows exactly the dynamics at work in this film. The eye rolling, the exasperated sighs, the backtalk. Mom losing her temper then having regrets. The two of them each wanting the other to understand. (Spoiler Alert. If you don’t want to know the end of the movie, don’t read the end of this post.)

Now I would never encourage a girl to give her mother a potion that changes her into a bear, but I’m sure my daughter wanted to. After seeing the movie, my son-in-law says he’ll make sure his wife and daughter watch the movie again in about six or seven years.

I didn’t go through that stage with my mother. Odd, I know. With six younger siblings, I knew how hard Mom worked just to keep the house clean, laundry done, and meals prepared. During my middle school/high school years, Mom also finished the inside of our house. Dad and his brothers built our house. Once the walls were up and floors down, Dad had other priorities—like working two jobs to make ends meet. So city-girl Mom taught herself how to lay tile—not the peel-and-stick kind, asphalt tile where you spread a black tarry substance to make them stick. She learned to mud the seams and nail holes, sand the drywall, and paint.

As the oldest, my job was to help Mom. Help with the laundry, scrub the kitchen floor every Friday, change diapers, and feed babies. Somewhere in my teen mind, I thought I had to take care of Mom. So smarting off to her wasn’t part of my behavior. Well, maybe I did once then felt so much regret I never did it again. Going through my daughter’s teen years while I was in peri-menopause was a disaster waiting to happen. Too bad I waited to get Xanax until my son hit sixteen.

In “Brave”, both Mom and Merida change. Merida has to teach Mom (in bear form) how to survive and Mom has to depend on her to changer her back. But as Mom becomes more bear, a frightened Merida works even harder to rescue her mother. I love the end where Mom is more carefree and she and Merida become friends.

Until Alzheimer’s stole Mom’s mind, she and I were friends. That’s the hope I have with my daughter and that she has with hers.

I blog here on the 8th and 30th of each month and Mondays on my own blogsite http://dianeburton.blogspot.com