An #OxfordComma Worth $5M

Back in the Dark Ages,  I used to teach English Language at college level in the U.K.  Yes, an American teaching English to the English may sound funny, but when I was handed papers that actually had “ad” instead of “had” and knew not the first thing about grammar, well, I had found my calling.  So you can imagine that I’m a pretty strict grammarian. Even now, in this Age of Enlightenment, I like my commas—especially the Oxford Comma. I even like semi-colons, and I always got a laugh when I opened one class for scientists with: “Thompson found, after being submerged in the solution for nine hours . . .” Ah, the misplaced modifier! But I digress.

Most of us have now seen the famous duo of sentences, ‘Let’s eat, Grandma,’ and ‘Let’s eat Grandma.’  The difference in meaning is glaringly obvious.  But with an Oxford comma, which comes at the end of a list, it might not be so obvious.  Someone working for Oakhurst dairy in Maine didn’t think that comma made any difference, but it did—to the tune of a $5M settlement.  Three truck drivers read that overtime would not be paid for time spent “canning, processing, preserving, freezing, drying, marketing, storing, packing for shipment or distribution of . . .” produce.  No comma at the end so it means one or the other, whereas the Oakhurst people had thought it meant both.  Smart truckers for noticing this!  The first court ruled in favor of the dairy; the appeals court ruled for the truckers and the above settlement has been reached.

Some authors now seem to think they can do away with commas altogether.  It amazes me because Word comes up with those squiggly green lines when you leave one out. Word doesn’t seem to have any mark to tell you when a semicolon is due—a semicolon separates two halves of the same thought in a sentence—but nowadays most authors seem to just write a separate sentence.  I regret that, but I understand I’m probably alone in this moan. The Chicago Manual of Style gives them a small section saying, “Though the semicolon is less frequently employed today than in the past, it is still occasionally used . . . ”

And what does the Chicago Manual of Style say about my beloved Oxford Comma?  Well, we’re in the United States and it says nothing.  Nothing! Yet there, at point 5.60, discussing lists, the Oxford comma is sitting pretty. “The carpenter’s saw, hammer, level, and so forth were found.”

If you’d rather listen to books than worry as you read about whether they have commas in the right place, hop over to either https://www.amazon.com/Lawless-Love-Lawmen-and-Outlaws/dp/B078KH5WPS/ 

or https://www.amazon.com/Dearest-Darling-Love-Letters/dp/B075D9M43X/

and give these two novellas a listen.

Always Someone Doing Better by Andrea Downing

There was recently an article in my local free paper—the Hamptons rag that lets all us mundane folk know exactly how well the local celebrities are doing—entitled ‘Celebrity Troubles:  There’s Always Somebody Out There Doing Better Than You.’  It recounts how Jay-Z and Beyonce bought their 26M dollar home on Georgica Pond, an address inhabited by the likes of Steven Spielberg, Martha Stewart, and Ron Perelman of Revlon fame, only to find that someone was applying to build on their next-door vacant land and will block their ocean view.  The article went on to mention that Billy Joel, when told he had more platinum albums than anyone else, moaned that Garth Brooks was about to pass him.  As I write this, the Oscars are on tonight and there’ll be all sorts of ‘also-rans’ for the history books, loads of hands that will go away empty.

I recently did a pitch-fest on-line along with a friend; she received a request to query and I didn’t.  Of course, I had to ask myself why her, not me.  We didn’t even pitch similar stories—hers is a romance, mine is women’s lit. set in the 1970s—nor did we even pitch to the same editors. And I’m not jealous in the usual sense of the word; I definitely wish her well, hope her query leads to a contract.  More, it is a kind of disappointment in myself.

But I guess as the writer in the local rag says, there’s always someone out there doing better.  It’s good to remember that, that is the way it will always be.  So next time a fellow author gets that three book contract with one of the big six, or one thousand five star reviews on Amazon, or even a thousand more likes than you have, remember that it’s never going to change.  There’s always going to be someone out there doing better . . .

Hmmm.  I wonder what JK Rowling is feeling now?

http://andreadowning.com

   

Publicity or #Piracy by Andrea Downing

I don’t watch much TV but I do like to keep up with the latest films.  When I say latest, I mean, I put them on my Netflix DVD list and a few months later they’re released, and I eventually receive them.  I pop them into my player and what I see first is a stern warning from the FBI:  “The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by federal law enforcement agencies and is punishable by up to 5 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.” Of course, their very fine seal and badge also accompany the page, which is followed by the statement, “Piracy is not a victimless crime” put there by the National Intellectual Property Center, who have a web page recounting how piracy affects the economy.

Well.

Why isn’t that reproduced on the copyright page of every book? Can they not send out a meme we could all download to use?

Nominated for a RONE Award, I attended the very first InD’Tale conference in Las Vegas, which was my very first conference as well. There, I sat in on a panel by a well-known, NYT best-selling, award-winning author. She let it be known that she earned upwards of 400k a year. I’ll never forget her advice to us—not to worry about piracy, see it as free promotion.

Well.

Whether you’re earning 39 cents through a publisher ebook, or a higher percentage through being self-published, those little pennies can add up.  Maybe it’s not going to make you 400K; in fact, I personally don’t care about the money--it's probably a small amount.  What I care about is that someone else has taken control of my book, is publishing it where they please, or handing it out. Some are free, some are not. Intellectual Property is just that—property, owned by someone. It’s true that most of the piracy sites are not, in any case, giving away books; they’re phishing for credit card details and using our books as the bait. I believe authors rarely get reviews from the readers who help perpetrate these crimes, and they are presumably not readers who might become lifelong fans. The books they receive are often badly formatted through whatever method the pirate has used. Plus, there are now enough free books and discounted books to keep anyone reading for a lifetime without patronizing a piracy site.

Well?

Reader or author, let me know what you think: Publicity or Piracy?

And with a bargain like this, who needs a pirated book?  It's nearly Valentine's Day, and love is in the air with these seven novellas by seven award-winning and best-selling authors. What's more romantic than a sexy cowboy? Treat yourself to a best-selling contemporary western anthology with 53 Reviews and 4.5 Stars, only $0.99. A COWBOY TO KEEP is at https://www.amazon.com/Cowboy-Keep-Contemporary-Western-Collection-ebook/dp/B072869SGV/ . Go catch a cowboy . . .. and keep a cowboy!

Are We in Prison? by Andrea Downing

When I realized my deadline for writing this post was looming, I dredged up what choices I thought I had. I’d just been in Wyoming for a month and wondered if I should share my photos with you all, but a number of them have already hit the pages of Facebook and Instagram so I nixed that. Then, of course, I had just attended a conference in Tucson so considered words of wisdom emanating from that experience, but so many of us have already talked about our conferences, I also let that idea go. Next thought to enter my mind was that I’ve returned to the traumas of selling an apartment—in NYC VERY traumatic waiting for Board approval on top of everything else—and buying a house, but all that is better left in the recesses of my mind.

     And then I was reading a wonderful book, Irene Sandell’s River of the Arms of God (highly recommended!) in which two women, one hundred years apart, are imprisoned in different ways. Well, that got me thinking! Prisons! As Sandell made me realize, not all prisons have bars. While one of the women in her book is in something of a ‘gilded cage,’ it struck me that her husband was as much imprisoned as she was, and at his own hand. He felt the compulsion to behave in a certain way and maintain his inheritance in the same manner his forebears had done, and there was no one else cracking the whip. How many of us do something similar to ourselves?

A friend and I have been moaning the usual array of rants against publishing and promoting the last few months. You know the kind I mean if you’re an author or work in publishing.  It’s the ‘gotta get that book out,’ gotta meet that deadline, gotta get that blog written or that Facebook post out, put something up on Pinterest or Instagram, show off my new cover, arrange that book signing, 'like' my friend’s page, comment on that author’s post, announce that five star review, and so on that we all have got ourselves into. In other words, it’s pressure we put on ourselves.  And to be perfectly frank, I don’t think I can stop! I can let things go for a while, but then when time permits, it’s a Murphy’s Law situation:  if there is time to be filled, it will certainly be filled (and probably something will go wrong as well!).

Behind this all is the love of writing, of course.  We want to create and get those words down on the page, hell or high water. There is that ‘something’ inside us that persistently nags us to write and if we’re not writing, we’re not happy.  Once that happens, of course, the rest follows. We’ve all thrown away the keys.

But I am curious:  do you feel you have other prisons you’ve created for yourself?

And so:  I just got a lovely 4* review from InD’Tale Magazine for Bad Boy, Big Heart, available at https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Boy-Big-Heart-Book-ebook/dp/B072MKG48B/:

“Bad Boy, Big Heart” is a fast paced short story with such beautiful descriptions of the Wyoming countryside, readers will feel as if they have been swept into the very pages of the book. One cannot help but instantly fall in love with the characters, feel their connection and share the struggle they face. .  . the writing is beautifully vivid and the characters likable, with a plot that any romance lover could easily sink their teeth into, especially if one enjoys a quick, enjoyable read.”

Dahlia Gosney

The New Face of Friendship by Andrea Downing

I’m dashing this off in the short few days between visitors, so you’ll have to excuse me if this post seems rushed.  The guests who just left included a fellow author and her husband, people I had never met in person but—at least with the wife who I’ll call A (changing the names to protect the innocent!!)—with whom I’d corresponded regularly for some time.  Some time?  I think it’s more than two years now.  For whatever reason, we’d never got around to speaking on the phone, never Skyped or Facetimed, yet knew what each other’s kids were doing, the foibles of neighbors, the illnesses we had, the traumas of too hot or too cold weather in our respective regions, and, needless to say, had repeatedly ranted to each other about the problems of being an author in this day and age and trying to sell books. So, when A arrived with hubby in tow, it was more like a reunion than a first time meeting, more like continuing where we left off than who the hell are you?  As A has written to me, it was “not at all weird because we exchange so many emails that all was as I expected.”

So this has got me thinking.  The way we make friends seems to have subtly changed or, if not exactly changed, found a new inlet.  It used to be that the bonds of friendship were forged in childhood, or perhaps in school as kids or outside the school gates waiting for our own kids, or maybe with neighbors or folks we met in a club or other organization, and through introductions or matchmaking. This still happens, of course, but enter the digital world with instant correspondence through emails, IMs, texts and so on, and bingo! We forge friendships with people we’ve never met, might not even know what they look like (since so many seem to use dogs or other family pets as avatars) nor ever hear their voice, yet somehow develop genuine rapport and bonds with them, travel with them through their ups and downs, highs and lows, and miss them when they don’t write.

Have we entered The Twilight Zone? What exactly constitutes friendship?

Through history there are tales of long correspondences between people who never meet yet seem to find common ground that develops a literary friendship.  And then there have been mail order brides who formed intimate relationships after the sparsest communications.  But this is now and I’m not talking marriage.  We are a wary, suspicious lot for the most part, used to taking every precaution before going out the door, ever fearful of hoaxes and scams.  Internet match-making is known to have its pitfalls, yet internet friendship seems to be alive and well, possibly because it develops at a natural pace with no objective other than sharing—sharing thoughts, ideas, news, complaints, rants, and information.  And if the chance occurs to meet up, or at least talk face to face, so much the better.

 For me, this recent meeting worked out very well and I enjoyed myself immensely.  As A said, there was no ‘weirdness’.  But I’m wondering what others have experienced in the line of internet friendship, and what those experiences have been?  Please tell all. There may be a story in it for me.
In the meantime, the story that was in me has come out along with that of one of my newly minted friends. If you're looking for your Hallowe'en reading, you could do no better than to get a copy From the Files of Nat Tremayne: Two Tales of Hauntings in the Old West by myself and Patti Sherry-Crews. Available through all good ebook sellers, and on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/Files-Nat-Tremayne-Tales-Hauntings-ebook/dp/B0767HWT6S/  
The Wild West gets even wilder when Nat Tremayne sends out his agents from Psychic Specters Investigations offices in St. Louis and Denver. Across country and across time, these agents will stop at nothing to unravel the mysteries that beset poor unsuspecting ranchers and cowboys who have no idea what they're seeing . . .or not, as the case may be.
In The Ghost and The Bridegroom, P.S.I. Agent Healy Harrison is sent to Tucson to rid a rancher of the ghost in the bedroom interfering in his marriage to a mail-order bride. Healy doesn't think she's destined for romance--until she meets Pinkerton detective Aaron Turrell. But when their two cases dovetail, will their newfound love survive the ultimate showdown  between mortal and immortal.

In Long A Ghost and Far Away, agent Dudley Worksop aims to unravel the mystery of Colby Gates' dead wife. Lizzie not only seems to have reappeared as a ghost, but has time traveled from 2016 to the 1800s. Can revenge be had for her murder? And can the couple be reunited across country and across time?
These stories originally appeared in The Good, The Bad, and The Ghostly.

When Life Gets in the Way by Andrea Downing

 I kept trying to think of what to write about this month but stuff kept happening. I’m trying to move house so now there are other houses to view, brokers and lawyers and accountants to deal with, people to show around, photos to set up. Then there was the holiday weekend and a load of guests.  But also, there is the new book I’m trying to write . . . .  Ah, yes, the new book. Try writing!

I caste my mind back to my life over the last few years and wondered how I fit writing in. A touch of breast cancer that necessitated six weeks of radiotherapy, five days a week. A broken shoulder which made typing near impossible. Other doctor appointments just to keep me checked up and problem free. My daughter’s wedding which seemed to take eighteen months of preparations. A wedding abroad combined with a vacation, more guests, more appointments, more travel. And that’s not to mention something resembling a fitness regime (read occasional walk/runs and gym attendance, maybe a bit of swimming and pilates thrown in), household chores, laundry, groceries and so on. And, wait a minute, then there’s family matters, doing taxes, food, and SLEEP!  Remember sleep?

Have a little life with your writing.

So, tell me, fellow authors out there, how do you make time to write when life gets in the way? Do you have a full time job that takes priority? Or do you treat writing like a

nine-to-five job whereby nothing, but nothing interferes? Do you apportion time for various tasks, including writing, so that the day is evenly spread between tasks and writing? Do you set yourself a reasonable word count and just get that done, hell or high water? Or do you just free-wheel it and hope for the best?

And when you have a moment, the books I have managed to write and get published can all be found at http://andreadowning.com