IQ "Schmei-Q" by Leah St. James

I think most of us have seen those online quizzes that start off with something like: “Only 5 percent of the population can get a perfect score on this test.” And then when you do get a perfect score, the screen flashes a message that you’re a genius.

I’m pretty gullible, but I’m not gullible enough to think that having a basic knowledge of, for example U.S history, makes me a “genius.” But I’m not averse to having some online quiz creator think I am! :-)

Yes, I aced it! :-)

A few weeks ago, however,  I clicked on a link for an online IQ test–the real thing. The first couple were easy find-the-number-pattern type of questions, so easy, in fact, that I convinced myself I must certainly be a certified genius by that test’s standards. Then the questions got a little harder, and I had to think about the answers. The majority were math based, or maybe engineering based. Actually, I’m not sure what discipline they fell into, but I do know there were only a few that dealt with words and vocabulary (my strength). I should have known then I was doomed.

Halfway through the assessment, the difficulty quotient jumped even higher, and I had to skip a few. Then my sister called and I blabbed to her for about 20 minutes. By the time I got back to the test, I was selecting answers by the eenie-meenie-minie-mo method and wondering what kind of sadistic jerk could have devised such a torturous series of “brain teases” for his or her fellow humans?! 

A really smart person would have skipped checking the score, but I did, which confirmed that I am, in fact, not a genius. In fact, my score was so low, it’s a wonder I can function at all.

After that, I moped around for a few days, convinced that I’d passed on sub-standard intelligence genes to my two sons, and agonizing for the future of my family’s blood line. I’m over it now (sort of), after reading that the test was timed, so taking longer than x-number of minutes would lower the score, but for some reason, I want another shot at it. Why? Why am I torturing myself?

I haven’t figured out that answer, but I did a little research into these online IQ tests found what I think might be the ultimate site for mind-gaming:  American Mensa’s Virtual Game Room.

Despite some easy sounding names, my first inclination was to X-out of the potential disaster. But then that inner demon took hold, and away I clicked.  I selected something called “Pat Sajak’s Lucky Letters,” which is similar to the Wheel of Fortune TV show.

I was nervous but told myself this game was more up my alley – it had letters, words and phrases, the stock of my trade! And once I got the hang of how it was played, I started to score fairly well. I even wagered my entire winnings on one of the Lucky Draw rounds. For me, that’s huge. I don’t make bets. Ever. But I looked at the clue, looked at the possible answers, and it was a no brainer!

A few minutes later, I was in the lightning round, starting to sweat and wondering when I’d turned into this creature who wanted to spin the dial. Would I bomb, like that offensive, so-called IQ test, or would my love of letters and words come through for me?

And joy of joys, I won! I won I won I won I won I won!

But am I going back for round two? Heck, no. I’m done. I’ll quit while I’m ahead, forever a winner of Pat Sajak’s Lucky Letters on none other than mensa.org. I may never take another IQ test again.
 
What about you? Do you torture yourself with online quizzes or IQ tests?

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Leah writes stories of mystery and suspense, good and evil and the enduring power of love. She blogs here on the 6th and 22nd of each month and hangs out online most often at Facebook. She loves visitors! To learn more about her writing, visit her website at www.leahstjames.com.